10 Steps to a Successful Wedding
• Jenny Brown with a sureshot guide to weddings in Vancouver
'Everyone want a happy wedding - but what can you do to make sure all goes well'?

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This is traditionally the most important day of your life. Not the day when you think "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" and look wildly around you for an escape route when the priest says"…’till death do you part". Nor should you have to baby-sit your husband-to-be’s sister who gets drunk and melancholy and then disappears for six hours, causing the family to go scouring the streets for her on your wedding night. These and many more horrific moments occurred at my best friend’s first wedding. By the time the second one rolled around, she’d learned a thing or two. She didn’t invite any great aunts she’d never met; she left her mother out of the whole thing, and boldly wore a tiara, despite some nasty comments from people on the groom’s side.

Following are ten tips to a successful wedding:

1. Pick the right man
This may seem like a ridiculous thing to say if you are in the midst of dress fabrics and catering brochures. But had my friend done the above, she could have avoided 7 years of wedded hell starting with a walk down the aisle feeling like a fraud. Another friend went to 7 weeks of pre-wedding counselling put on by the church. (Courtney Cox and David Arquette started pre-emptive therapy, such was their dedication).
2. I need help!
There are a million details to take care of and your main priority should be looking fabulous. Enlist the help of dependable friends. Find out what they’re good at. Make lists of specific tasks to be carried out for each person and give them a reasonable time frame to get it done.
3. Wedding Shops

New Westminster is known for it’s vast selection of bridal shops, particularly on Columbia Street. But having a dress capably made by a family member could save money. My best friend’s second dress came from Mariposa (Metrotown, Brentwood, and Oakridge); where they have a wide selection of affordable formal wear.

4. Call the Experts, cut the costs
Between your fiancée and yourself, you must know a few talented people. I’m talking chauffeurs, photographers, DJs or chefs. Maybe they’d like to offer their services as a wedding present. Manhattan Caterers in Burnaby (604-421-2711) offers a catering/photography package with Samways Wedding Photography in Vancouver.
5. The invite list
Remember first and foremost it’s your day. Sit down and write your ideal list of people you are close to, as if there was no such thing as guilt. Distant cousins you’ve seen twice in your life don’t count. Keep in mind that each person adds a minimum $50. Elderly and children need tending so make sure someone is designated. Don’t let it be you.
6. Gifts
This is one of the best parts. You can be naughty or nice; they’re still going to pile up. To avoid receiving twenty fondue sets, register with several big department stores such as The Bay, Sears or IKEA. Provide lists with phone numbers and e-mails so invitees can consult with each other. My best friend’s #1 choice is money. This allows the un-creative an escape route and for you to stockpile and buy exactly what you want instead of endlessly having to return and exchange.
7. The bachelor/bachelorette party
The traditional stripper idea can be fun for the guys, but I find staring at a prancing oil slicked man with floppy parts dangling in my face a bit embarrassing, especially in the company of close friends. If you’re really going to go crazy and do an out-of-towner, you still want to make it to the church on time. Go at least a week in advance. If you’re going out on the town with the girls, don’t do it the night before. A hangover isn’t going to help pre-wedding jitters the next morning. Walking down the aisle on the verge of spewing might make you a candidate for America’s Funniest Videos.
8. Registry Office
If cash or religion is sensitive then opting for a registry office is the way to go. My best friend went this route, and saved the money for partying with pals a few weeks later. It’s also a way to deal with the invite nightmares.
9. Pre-wedding diet
Even though your stomach may be doing somersaults (see item seven above), it’s still a good idea to eat something on the morning of the wedding. Porridge is good, as is scrambled eggs or fruit and toast. Stay away from bloat or noise making brekkies like fry-ups or beans.
10. The Honeymoon

For an inexpensive getaway, take a drive up to Kelowna and surrounding areas and pitch a tent at one of the many camp sites. If you have a winter wedding and more funds, check out Banff Holidays (info@banffholidays.com) A $145.00 per night room includes 2 person Jacuzzi and fireplace.
If that seems too chilly, a Hawaiian wedding/honeymoon is very popular.
Check out the less touristy islands like Maui which offers spectacular scenery on the 2 hour Hana Highway, but don’t forget to pack the Gravol, and fasten your seatbelts – it’s a bumpy ride.
If you’re one of the 50% of married couples who got it right the first time – congratulations!
If not, practice makes perfect.
Follow these steps, and by the next one you should be a pro.

© Jenny Brown November 2002 - actress-dancer- writer

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