International Writers Magazine: Pick Your Poison
mouth feels as if a fleet of mountain bikers just went tearing through,
kicking up dust. My makeup feels like sticky plaster and my hair
is almost to the point of throwing in the towel and cleaning itself.
Another quiet night, watching movies. This is always the end result.
Of course I cant forget about Jack.
It must have been
him. Hes the reason I sit here now, dazed and a bit confused.
Im known to confuse even myself sometimes. But today is different.
The sun is shining, Ive got air in my lungs, or at least the half
that isnt completely riddled with thick tobacco and all the lovely
bonuses that come with that. Today is different. Today means something.
How do I end up here? What were the events that got me to this point
exactly? Its always rather a blur. Is this my future? Whats
worse, is this all our futures?
Pick your poison. Youve got alcohol; marijuana; nicotine; caffeine;
heroin; cocaine; meth; ecstasy; prozac or valium. There are uppers,
downers, lefties and righties, legal or illegal, natural or man-made.
Theres a drug for every colour of the rainbow; for every colour
of your mood. And whatever colour your mood might be, you surely need
a drug for that.
For what, you ask? Im perfectly fine.
Oh no, youre told. You could always be better.
Is that it? Is it the natural human instinct to better ourselves that
drives us to drink, smoke, pop, snort or shoot? Is it a lazy way of
Judging by what Ive seen in my short time on this Earth
by my misjudgment, thats a theory for the birds.
Is it just about feeling better then? Surely we all feel better when
were on drugs or there really wouldnt be quite the market.
But what about tomorrow? Do we ever feel better? I cant say I
But itll be the same thing tonight, tomorrow night and most likely
the next. Some days I wonder if there will even be a next. Dont
get me wrong; Im not some angst-filled wrist-cutter who drowns
her pain in the biggest bottle you have please. Im just
your average middle-class girl. My family is your average middle-class
family. And my friends are your average middle-class type of people.
Honestly, theres nothing extraordinary about any of this. In fact,
its all quite normal. Another day, another reality set sideways
by the right mixture of influences.
They say we live in a wonderful time. What a wonderful time indeed.
Aside from the threat of war, the threat of disease, the threat of crime,
the threat of death, the threat of poverty, hunger and humankind actually
causing our only planet to self-destruct
aside from a few minor
details, life couldnt be better.
Weve got television, computers, iPods, fast cars, airplanes, speedboats
and spaceships. Whats not to love? We dont even need to
lift a finger. Hell, weve got machines that do our jobs for us,
clean our house for us and even socialize for us. We could get by quite
the same if we all locked ourselves in dark one-square-meter cells with
nothing but the internet and that faithful bottle of Whiskey.
These are our links to a society that once existed. A society we once
created and later destroyed. Weve taken our basic instinctual
behaviour and warped it into what is presented in a rather nice light
Weve evolved to the point where we cant count on ourselves
to do human business without the aid of a brainless, material substance.
Evolution indeed. A revolution we need.
But in the meantime we can chase the dragon, spot the train, build a
snowman or even trip the bloody light fantastic. And in the end were
exactly as we were. And were alright.
Jones December 2008
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