The International Writers Magazine - Positive Living taking steps to change your life

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The gods have spoken and they say it is cruise time. • Sara Towe on her way to Alaska Well it is hard to believe that it is 2004. Was it not just yesterday that everyone was waiting for the world to end at the millennium? What has changed? War goes on, and if they have their way, could bring the end to everything. Debt catches up, children grow, and we all get older or do we?

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I am not complaining, it’s just that when you reach my age and have so many changes in your life, you notice things differently. I have this stigma of a larger number attached to my back. I am not John Travolta and Oprah, so turning 50 this year wont be celebrated quite in the same way. I have so much that I want to do, but, (there’s always a but,) I have responsibilities, such as children, business, pets and a younger mind in an older body.

I have decided to try and date again. Yes I finally separated, and thank God remain on very friendly terms. We are very good friends and care about each other, but now that we are separated spouses, we are better of without each other. So now I can date.

There is only one problem with dating, and that is finding someone to date with. In the seventies, it was so much easier to meet people; every one was so much more open. Now people have become sceptical and mistrusting, I understand why, but it is sad.

Kokomo with stick

When I go for a walk with my dog Kokomo, who is now 2 years old, I find that doggie walkers always nod and smile. When we go for our coffee and treat (which she shares of course) I find that the smokers are quite chatty but alas being asthmatic, I cannot date a smoker. My work is helping people with their transient lives, so no meeting anyone there; they are not ready for me. I am not a committee person, so that’s out. Yes I have looked at the e-dating and so far cannot say I am impressed.

So I have decided on a cruise.
I realised that I have to put myself in the way of people, not just men, but also a new type of people to socialize with and branch out with. It is very easy to stay in a rut when there is no one to grab your waving hand to pull you out of the mud. So enough waiting- time to climb out. Time to move on. Need a drastic change.
I am going on a cruise for my age group (49.5 and trying to hold on) and looking for interesting people who love life and good conversation. I have not danced in so long I need to remember how.
I have not been at a table with fun, light hearted people in so many years I have forgotten what it is like. The joy of meeting people who like a lively talk about life and living would be great.
One thing I would be nervous about, is meeting a new man. Do flirting techniques come back? And do they know the difference between flirting and sexual advances? I am not ready to be chased around the ship just yet,. He might get thrown overboard. Is there anything worse when dating, than having a horny creep hanging all over you? I must say I do like a man with a sense of humor, some consideration and a zest for life. They do still exist don’t they?

So I am booked, Alaska here I come. On May 5th I will embark on an adventure that I hope will enlighten me and lead me towards making new friends. I am on the Holland Lines "The Voleendon" which I understand is a new ship (built 2000) I will have a cabin to myself, (at great cost to go single) but worth it. I have already purchased one nice evening outfit. This suit reminds me of my mother when she did cruises. A raw silk 2 piece in champagne colour with gold beaded colour. She would approve. Clothes wise I am ready. I am also getting my eyes ‘lazored’ before I go, so as not to look like my grandma any more.
I am tweaking my poor old bod and tuning my mind.
I will be ready!

I am glad that it is not a hot cruise, I prefer a spring cruise, as I am not a swim bunny. I look forward to reading on deck in the cool spring breeze, and then meeting people over lunch, dinner, and coffees. We travel up the inside of the coast so I will see spectacular sights, and I will visit the melting glaciers in all their glory. It will be so nice not to have to worry if anyone else with me is happy, just myself to worry about. The first time in 23.5 years, so I will relish in my self-centeredness.
There are 3 restaurants on this ship, each different in size and style. So I can move around a bit and meet new and interesting people. I do hope that they have a juice bar, as I love having fresh juice every day.
A swim a day for exercise and walks around the decks (unfortunately without my Kokomo (Border collie) should all be very pleasant.
I believe that at mealtime they seat you with your own age. This is good as I do not want to be with too young or too old.

When I was young and single, I travelled a lot. Twenty-two country’s in all. I went from country to country, met many an interesting person, and experienced many wonders. Just to have a taste of that again even for a week is great. Though what is very odd is that when I try and think like a single woman again, I find myself feeling as if I am in my 20’s. I look at men and see then, as I would have then. Very disconcerting. But alas as I move forward, life will remind me of age and reality.

So many think that when you become single again, that you automatically want to get out there and grab another man. Or that you are sex starved and cannot handle being alone. Well the truth of the matter is, that you feel a relief being on your own, and sex oh what a bother, you need a man for that! (Some women don’t, of course) and as for grabbing another man just for the sake of it, no way thank you. I like my own company, but I would like to share myself and family and friends with someone who has the same interest and values and above all treats me with respect. When I meet that person, I would be glad to have him as a partner. It is true that sometimes life is lonely, but to fill it just for the sake of it is not worth the pain or trouble. Read a good book and lunch with good friends I say.
So I await my destiny and put myself out there in the big picture, and trust in my fate to unfold. So I will see how it changes my life.

You never know I could be later this year celebrating my 50th birthday in style, but what is for sure I will be turning the new 40 come what may. So here’s hoping that it will be a great one, and the effects of this cruise will be a happy and lasting one too.
Make wonderful dreams come true.
© Sara Towe Feb 2004
www.positiveliving.ca
Sara runs postiveliving.ca and offers courses on positive ways of living in Vancouver Canada.

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