Lifestyles: Boy's Room
love can make a messy room
step into the familiar surroundings that a year ago I regarded as
home. Just looking at the floor makes me realize how unfamiliar
it actually is. Has this boy hoovered in the last year at all? Good
Okay so I
am talking about my ex. We are still friends and this is the first time
that I have been back to the room in a year. At first glance, it hasnt
changed. However, I could be easily misguided by what is in the room
to thinking that he is something he isnt. On the floor lie pieces
of ripped receipts that are from the weeks shopping at Tescos. I can
see that he stills buys the same sort of burgers that he did back then.
Maybe I could regard him as constant then. I suppose he still is, as
I can also see that he has kept the empty miniature bottle that I gave
him a year ago.
I can tell now why we will always be close. He doesnt change and
I know more about him than anyone will for a long time. I spot the object
to back this up sitting on the bookshelves. It is a picture of his family.
Its amazing how anywhere he goes, that is always the first thing
to be placed.
However, there is something surprising that I never used to notice about
him. There is a strange eeriness in the room. The curtains are semi-open
and a dark glare covers from the bed to the door. What could this mean?
Is there is a dark side to his character or perhaps something is going
wrong in his life that I dont know about? All of a sudden I feel
One thing that upsets me more than anything is feeling that I dont
know somebody in the way that I thought I did, completely. Shit! I thought
that I heard a door go downstairs. I quickly close the drawer that I
was sneaking through. Call me naughty but I am determined to know more.
I find a letter that I had written to him a long time ago. You know
one of those mushy ones that you write because you think that you are
in a completely safe and perfect place. Then when you break up
believe that all men are bastards and that love really is a chemical
reaction in the brain.
.another creak and I stumble from my crouched position to
the floor. Enough is enough
I know that I am about to get caught
if I dont go down soon after my so called, 'pay a visit'.
I walk out not knowing whether or not there really is more to my ex
than I thought. Its disturbing and I will probably never know.
I look into my bag and see the object that I have knicked. His stick
of hair wax. At least I can take something away from here that I recognize.
Now I can go home to my hoovered floor.
© Michelle Cochrane November 2003
Michelle is a Creative Arts student at Portsmouth University
all rights reserved