The International Writers Magazine: Hacktreks in Korea

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No Grass To Be Greener Danielle Kravetsky in Korea I'm no Luddite, I appreciate the invention of the wheel, the boat keel, the heel. I like standardized robotic production lines in the factory. I even bought Ford, twice! (Once bitten, twice shy, so unless I'm delirious or high, another Ford, I will not buy.) However, Korean FTP'in is not to be seen. Trying to maneuver around the korean menu system, is like looking for a pot of gold in a dark maze, opening doors in an ignorant haze, never really knowing your relative state, because there's no colorful (english) rainbow to help navigate. So, I'll paint you a picture with words instead:

No Grass To Be Greener

I recently stepped off the boat (ahem: plane) into our concrete paradise, Pusan, South Korea. I noticed the plane didn't exactly land in a grassy knoll, nor did I expect it to. However, after two days of trying to figure out what exactly is so different about this city, I think I got it: There is no greenery anywhere! Not a twig, not a branch, not a blade (of grass). I live in Kaegum Chugong (chew gum), where, if I sleepwalk, I am on the freeway riding into Seomyeon (downtown) with the rest of the commuters. No grass there. I walk a very cemented bridge to work everyday, which has a driving range neaby. If I squint my eyes at the green netting it looks like grass, but as I reach the end of the bridge, I'd have to close my eyes and sniff glue in order to truly believe there's living greenery there.

Once, when I opened our spare fridge, I thought I had found my field of green, but it turned out to be some old maggoty moldy food. I had to fight with the director to get that fridge removed. So the question remains where do they hide the grassy parks? At first I thought "nowhere", but then, driving to and from immigration several times with my boss, I found it: Samsung Insurance! That's right, outside of corporate Korea is where the deer run free and one can wander sockless right through the door of one of the world's largest electronics manufacturers' sattelite companies.

"What to do? I asked myself. "I need things to insure, but what?", I pondered, since I own nothing. I decided to conduct my classes at Samsung Park, for inspiration. The kids loved it. Everyday we would speak in English about items worthy of insuring. First, I explained to them what insurance is, then what items are, then how to identify a multinational corporation by the quality of the frontal shrubbery. By then, the suits were all gathered at their windows watching us. The kids and I agreed that a good suit almost always comes with a nice shrub. Eventually, the suits grew impatient, denied my request to insure all English adjectives beginning with the letter Q (they said "that's more of an intellectual property issue"), then kindly directed me to their IP and patents branch. ...and that's a colorful picture of my search for grass.

I guess moses didn't need to swim after all.

Happy Holidays everyone, Whatever your religion, cult, sect, terrorist faction, there's probably some sort of celebration/gathering/secret meeting that is a tradition at this time of year. Me? I'm jewish, so it's passover for me. I have to say that I've always been sceptical of the passover stories about Moses and the jews in the desert, which were taught in school every year. Maybe it's because Charleton Heston didn't age the same way in real life as he did in the Ten Commandments, as Moses. Or, maybe, I just don't see how tablets could carve themselves, back then, when I can't even get my pen to work in today's technologically advanced world (even taking into account divine intervention).

Well, I"m here today to say, start boiling up the raw eggs, chop the bitter herbs, throw out the yeast, sit on the bread, age the grape juice for the kids, cover the furniture with plastic for guests........BECAUSE PASSOVER'S BACK ON! The sea really can part! At least in Korea it can.......read this:
"Every spring and fall, Jindo-gun, which consists of 250 islands located at the southwestern tip of the Korean peninsula, experiences a natural wonder internationally known as Korea's unique version of the "Moses' Miracle." The phenomenon, which occurs three to four times a year, occurs when the waters recede to form a long path between Jindo island to Modo-ri township on a neighboring islet. The path, which is 10 to 40 meters wide and 2.8 km long, opens up for a few hours a day owing to the great difference between the ebb and flow of the tide. After some time, the path is again immersed in deep seawater."

So, that's that! The wise men got the location mixed up. We jews, are really Korean. Moses was korean! Pack up and make the pilgrimage, but BYOM (bring your own matzoh).
Happy Spring (that's secular enough right?),

© Danielle Kravetsky Feb 2004
lkravetsky@hotmail.com

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