International Writers Magazine - Our Tenth year : Realty Check 2009
The Year of the Guilty
nine will be the year of The Guilty. Exoneration is in the air.
Free rides. Hard promises. Credentials for all; particularly those
who don't deserve them -- the powerful, the beautiful, the twisted
and the onerous. It will be especially productive for the onerous,
where the beating of the chest will pass for intellectual currency.
Balls will be all the rage in Oh-Nine; big, shiny pairs - and those
unable to acquire them or flash them in a pinch will be in the shit-can.
will be the year of Blogojevich, the Man From Illinois, who has joined
the long line of criminally insane governors, but in Oh-Nine there awaits
Retribution. Listen to him now; "They have nothing. I will fight."
Shit, yeah. In Oh-Nine fighting will take the place of half-assed lying.
Double-speak is not going to cut it. Shuck-And-Jive will have its place,
but there will be less to exploit with bullshit when raw defiance is
readily available. It will be a time to go all-out, not pitter around
making excuses for putting into practice the fundamental principles
of good old-fashioned Capitalism: Play To Pay is back. Skinny ties,
pastels, mash-ups, liquid speed balls, and Cash On Hand; An Ayn Randian/
Ubermensch kind of free-wheeling.
Blogojevich will be the shining symbol of the New
Year's proud stomp; a staking of claims and a sober revision in Ignoring
The Sidelines. This, of course, will mean that Oh-Nine will be silly
with shameless entrepreneurship. Shame is not an option now that the
bottom has dropped out of the pocket-pickers game. Demure malfeasance
is passé. It will be a Blogojevich fire-sale milieu; everything
has a price and someone will pay it. No more haggling. All choices will
involve money; faith, love, the whole gamut of existential concepts
will be readily available on the cheap. The line forms on the left,
and you had best get there early; because once the kitty is empty, that's
Always the impatient act-first-ask-questions-much-later
progressive, the president has gotten a head-start on Oh-Nine by rolling
out his first of several lists of pardons for The Guilty, where Scooter
Libby is its most fortunate beneficiary. The vice president's bagman
can breathe easier now. The days of apologizing for doing the bidding
of The Cowardly have passed. In Oh-Nine, The Guilty will no longer be
pariah. Each and every Backstabber will be expected to walk proudly
in the glaring light of day; stand tall and wave a symbolic fist. The
Cowardly have no place in Oh-Nine. Cheap frauds and moral goblins like
Dick Cheney may have to euthanized to clean the slate.
Ninety percent of Talent is showing up. Woody Allen said
that. He was trying to be both funny and philosophical, but it turns
out he was mostly prescient. Showing up will also be all the rage in
Oh-Nine. Ask Caroline Kennedy, who has emerged from a lifetime political
cocoon to wave Camelot aloft once more. Succeeding in making it less
wretched to sell a Senate seat in Springfield than it is to hand one
to American royalty in Albany, the Kennedy brand has made yet another
Not to be undone, the Cuomo's fancy offspring is also
throwing his hat in the ring. How about Pataki's daughter? She's cool.
I used to work with her in Westchester. She's smart and attractive and
has the right last name to beg her way to Capitol Hill.
But, shit, by the time the Nepotism Twins make a bid for
Washington, Oh-Nine will be in full swing, and so shall our familiarity
with Realistic Expectations, the mantra of the new president of the
United States. Barack Obama's first 100 days of rescuing the national
economy, rebuilding international relations, and gutting the federal
government's incredible mass of dead weight, will be pushing the great
"Proving I Am Not The Christ" syllabus.
Realistic Expectations is an important ingredient to survival
when failing to come with the H-Two-O party tricks, shuffling upon it
or making with the wine. Many of the Oh-Eight holdovers are waiting
patiently for Change to give way to Divinity. This bodes well for another
comeback in Oh-Nine; Crucifixion, which, like Jell-O, one can always
anticipate finding room. In Oh-Nine, the stakes in modern politics will
be that high. Politicians, now reviled and run out of town aflame with
derision will be expected to perform miracles. Sadly, for those living
on Cloud #9, the president-elect is merely a politician. This can hardly
be denied. He will not escape Oh-Nine anymore than we can.
Oh-Eight was an excellent example of Rejection. We rejected
antiquated notions of jingoism, racism, phony Republicanism, and the
Baby Boomer Lie. It is a new time for a new generation. But as the utterly
defeated George W. Bush will tell us, The times do not often jibe with
The Plan. If not for terrorist invasions and hurricanes or economic
implosions, a dunce can make a pretty fancy chief executive. But Times
trump Plans, and when the Kumbaya chorus has died down and things get
kicking in Oh-Nine, The Guilty will replace The Cowardly, and politicians
may have to raise the dead, but it will be anything but boring.
I'll see you there.
Campion Jan 1st 2009
Bogus Battle for Christmas
just in: Christmas has nothing to do with religion. Around here, and
by around here I mean America, it is the granddaddy of consumer holidays
READERS RESPONSES Jan 3rd 2009
I heard that the pastry industry is next in line for the great bail-out-bonanza.
(BEGGARS & CHOOSERS) I already have a check cut for Starbucks (poor
bastards) and Amtrak. It's such a joke. And remember all the times we
heard that there was no money for art and education. Fuck it. Let them
all go down in flames. These bailouts are like covering your asshole
with a band-aid then taking a dump.
It is true that
we have left ourselves little choice but to lean on government (let
that read the populace) to save the nation. Not the first time, and
won't be the last. This anger we feel now in response to the "bail
out", which is merely a pejorative term for "economic relief",
is the equal/opposite of what we were feeling when all was going well
and people were grabbing at several brass rings at once from Wall St.
to the housing industry to some consumer insanity that has a majority
of the nation in serious credit card debt. We tend to swing in extremes
in America. It is our legacy. And now our current era of breakdown/build-up
is our debtor's world and this debtor's society. If the last eight years
taught us anything its that once the Republicans (fiscally responsible
and hardly bleeding hearts when it comes saving the world) everyone
is willing to allow the spending and spending of a seemingly endless
supply of money to make everyone happy and thinking we are safe.
So now the system and WE are broke.
Looks like those who argue we shouldn't save industry and support the
solvency of this great nation is willing to succumb to ideology over
survival. History is littered with idiots who allowed that to happen.
I'm sorry, but handing
over billions to broken and badly run antiquated companies that have
no idea how to evolve and act as if they are "entitled" to
survive is everything this country and its ideals stands for.
It is time for serious reappraisals, my friends.
I have family that
work and count on the auto industry, but this is not what I write to
you and your readers about now. You see, I'm not sure everyone knows
the absolute devastation it would mean to thousands upon thousands of
jobs if this American institution, the auto industry, goes down. It
is imperative that we all pull together, just for a short while, and
see this through. I know it appears to be some kind of handout, but
it is a vital cog in America's security and well being. It is more than
money and industry and economic ideologies. It is a life force. Until
we think of it as that, we will be forever in debt.
WOW. Divided we
sit, in front of our TVs and computers, looking for anything to support
our own world views and reacting like rabid animals to anything that
doesn't seem to line up. Our minds are made up, so much so that most
of us couldn't even recognize facts any more if they came up and bit
Mad props for your willingness to publish all opinions. It demonstrates
integrity (aka strength) on your part and reveals just how much diversity
exists in our fellow audience members.
Even though the old saw about living in interesting times being a old
Chinese curse has been debunked, it holds true, if only in my intuition.
I keep thinking that some major revelation, undeniable and universally
obvious will allow us all to agree on at least one thing.
(WE'RE ALL FINE) More Erin Moore! Sounds like she's becoming the Acosta
to your Thompson.
If your wife is as crazy as she appears in this space, when she does
so infrequently but explosively, then she needs to be given a pen and
a space for her wild adventures and warped ideas.
At least I know the two of you are happy in your madhouse existence,
a heartwarming tale of love.
I happen to agree with your mythical Mr. Cincinnati, we are doomed.
This stock market is beyond volatile. It is as if, and I think you once
described it this way; a wild animal, thrashing about, completely without
reason or purpose, and to have your savings, your very future tied to
it is like getting into a car with a maniac jacked up on speed and tripping
balls. This is scary shit. Really scary shit. When is the bottom? What
will become of us?
Can I party with
your wife, James? This is one of the most interesting, bent, and progressive
women I have ever read about. I'm sure some of that stuff is embellished,
but then again...who knows? This is beyond the labele feminism or anything
like that. This is way-out of that league. Let's get her a television
show or something. Perhaps we can hear more about what she's like. I
suppose there is something to be said for letting it rip. I await her
next appearance in Reality Check with great anticipation.
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