The International Writers Magazine: So you think LSAT is easy
My Conversation with the LSAT
OK! Let’s do this!
All of the players on Westfield High’s baseball team are good players. Therefore, Westfield High’s baseball team is a good team.
Nope. The whole is not equal to the sum of its parts. Flaw! Next question.
If the stegosaurus is at the watering hole, then the triceratops is at the watering hold. If the triceratops is at the watering hole, then the brontosaurus is at the watering hole. The brontosaurus is not at the watering hole.
Excellent. I can diagram this. Put the stegosaurus here, triceratops there, brontosaurus here… Done. Lovely, lovely. Moving on.
The overall revenue for businesses in Country X has declined in the past year. Yet Company G, a company in Country X, has seen its revenues increase during the past year.
A paradox question… OK, paradox resolved. Huh, still have five minutes remaining. Excellent! If I can keep up this level of concentration, the test should go just fine.
Time- 35 minutes
Three reviewers will review four movies over a course of four days. The movies are Lust, Demolition, Secrets, and Revenge…
Those movies don’t sound very family friendly. They also sound like the person who wrote this question is grappling with some inner demons. I wonder what Freud would say about this. OK, enough dallying. Focus!
The fossil records of six species of dinosaur from the Jurassic era indicate roughly when these species of dinosaur became extinct. The following conditions apply…
Another dinosaur question? What is with the dinosaurs on this test? I mean, if the questions have to do with the theme of extinction, there are lots of other animals that have become extinct. Dinosaurs are so obvious. Why not Tasmanian devils? Or passenger pigeons!
Keiko, Rodrigo, Annabel, Jafar, Quentin…
Keiko? Rodrigo? Jafar? Is this the LSAT’s way of promoting diversity?
…and Bob are members of the track team…
Bob?! What a let down! After all these interesting names you give me Bob? And by the way, LSAT, you need to work on your diversity. I note a distinct gender imbalance among the track participants.
Oh my God, I only have ten minutes remaining.
…Each member participates and no member participates more than once…
Look at that guy over there, scribbling away. That’s right pal, keep moving that pencil. A real LSAT genius.
Or maybe he doesn’t know anything. Maybe he’s just bubbling in and hoping for the best. I feel your pain, sir!
Time- 35 minutes
Nathan: I believe that no one in my family has suffered from a tapeworm…
A question involving tapeworms. I never saw that one coming.
…I have asked everyone in my family whether he or she has ever had a tapeworm, and all my family members said they have not. One objection to this statement is that perhaps my family members have contracted a tapeworm but did not know it. However, this objection is unfounded. A person who has contracted a tapeworm displays certain symptoms…
Oh my God, Nathan! Shut up already!
…such as increased appetite with no corresponding increase in weight. None of my family members has ever displayed these symptoms. Therefore, my belief that no one in my family has suffered from a tapeworm is correct.
Nathan, I find your interest in whether your family members have been hosts to parasites deeply concerning.
The rainfall for last year averaged about one foot. The rainfall for the year before last averaged about one and a half feet…
Great. Now I have to pee.
…The river flooded last year, but not the year before…
Stop talking about water!
…The average household uses three gallons of water per day…
Well, the test is ending soon. I guess I can hold it in without getting a urinary tract infection.
Alana: I don’t believe we should recycle our old soda bottles by putting them in the recycling bin. We should keep our old soda bottles, because we may need to use them for some purpose in the future…
Alana sounds like a hoarder. She could be on TV if that’s the case. Hoarders are huge now. I wonder what other group of people will become the hot new thing for television viewers to gawk at. First it was addicts on Intervention, then it was little people on Little People, Big World. Then it was unusually fertile women on Jon and Kate Plus Eight and 18 Kids (18 or 19? When is that woman going to go through menopause? That’ll be the only thing that stops her from bearing children) and Counting. Now it’s hoarders on Hoarding: Buried Alive. Maybe conjoined twins will be next? Or schizophrenics! I’d watch that!
Oh God, I’ve spent too much time on this tangent. I’ll put D as the answer to Alana’s hoarding problem.
Wait! I have three Ds in a row already. That is an excessive amount of Ds. But perhaps D is the right answer, because so many people won’t put D because it looks wrong. So, do I put D? I won’t put D. I’ll put D.
Should I change D to A for Question 17? I haven’t had an A in a while. No. D it is.
I’m losing it. I’m totally losing it. I have no idea what I’ve just read. Focus!
WHY ARE THERE DINOSAURS?!
“Time is up. Put your pencils down and stop working on this section.”
© Katharine Mackel July 2010
kam249 at hoyamail.georgetown.edu
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