The International Writers Magazine: Retail

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Buy before you try • Laura Jones Ways to shop are evolving as quickly as the rest of the world – alarmingly fast. Simply click on Google and you can have your weekly shop, the latest Missoni handbag or a mail order bride at your fingertips. Not to mention the clothes, bags, hats, shoes and jewellery within our grasp… but where’s the best place to buy them, online or good old-fashioned high streets? Lets explore the options

Ok, so lets look at shopping online. I speak from experience on this subject having made many online purchases myself; on the whole successful and relatively hassle free, with low delivery charges (depending on what it is) and most items arriving within the week. No queuing in hot stuffy shops whilst some brat throws a tantrum in front of you. People can look at you and wonder where did she get that top from? probably embarking on a fruitless quest in every shop to find it. Websites such as asos.com allow you to dress like celebrities for a fraction of the price. A whole new wardrobe arrives on your doorstep. And you didn’t even have to leave the house…

However there have been several mishaps that must be mentioned… One in particular is rather off putting - not so long ago I was on an online mission to find the classic ‘little black dress’- after a little searching on Ebay (an online auction site) I stumbled upon the perfect candidate…strappy, good length and seemingly nice material. So I bidded, and ended up forking out £11 for the sexy little number. I remember gleefully thinking what a bargain I’d nabbed – until it arrived on my doorstep that is.
As I slowly pulled it from the wrapping I realised what the photo had failed to capture was that the dress was covered in some kind of…crochet… which depicted both flowers AND spiders webs. Good God. And the woman who had been modelling it was in fact some kind of midget, because when I tried it on it barely covered my bum. Not only was my dress worthy of a tarty goth, it smelt funny too. Honestly, words fail me…I cannot for the life of me imagine who would’ve worn it…

After my doily dress incident, I must admit I was far more wary of buying clothes online. Even the more specialised, brand new clothes sites such as asos.com can pose problems. Many items bear the ‘may differ slightly from picture’ phrase – take heed of this little sentence, it is sometimes frustratingly true, and those ‘slight’ changes can make all the difference between loving that top and hating it.
It’s also all too easy to forget that we are looking at an airbrushed size 8 model whose minuscule behind makes those trousers look fabulous – they’ll look great on us too, right? Er…no, usually the image of Claudia Schiffer turns to Margaret Thatcher as you wriggle into those unflattering cords. My best advice would be to avoid buying clothes online which really do need to be tried on, such as jeans or fussy tops – when browsing on Ebay now I tend to only buy accessories, e.g. jewellery and bags; as one size fits all and you have a pretty good idea what it’ll look like on.

Ok, so now let’s consider the benefits of actual shops. The main advantage must surely be that you actually get to see the clothes, feel them and try them on. Think about it - for every 10 things you take into a changing room, you don’t usually buy more than two of them. Why? Clothes are deceiving. Seeing them on mannequins, pictures and other people is not sufficient. We are not all the same shape, and will not look good in everything we try on. Therefore that test run in the changing rooms is vital.

Another benefit is that returning purchases in a shop is far easier, no fussing around with postage, original packaging and explanatory notes. In a shop you can simply mumble that it was an ‘unwanted gift’ (translation: I couldn’t fit my whale thighs into it) and be out of there. It’s a little trickier online; those excuses don’t usually cut it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be the first to salute online shopping as a useful, straightforward way to nab bargains and the odd garment that you wouldn’t be able to get in the shops. It’s also fantastic for buying CDs and DVD’s, but it’s not without its faults. Personally, I find the sheer potluck of whether anything will fit me properly (and the hassle of returning the things which don’t) is enough to send me packing to the high streets. Also, could I really sacrifice the essential catwalk run in front of my friends in the changing rooms, asking vital questions such as: ‘Does this suit me? I don’t look like a tart do I? Honestly now, does my bum look massive?’
The other option: clicking on a mouse by myself in the living room. I rest my case.
© Laura Jones March 2005
Laura studies Creative Writing at Portsmouth University

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