The International Writers Magazine: The Return of Tabytha Towe
Introduction to the frenzy
long and draining. Suggest you sit down with a cup of tea and
take a deep breath before you enter the revolutionary, rude awakening.
'My God Im such a complicated being! I have always gone
the dodgy route thinking that maybe it will make things simpler
later on then, but then you get lost in the process regardless'.
about time I catch up and deliver something once more, for I am well
overdue. In fact I am well over due for MANY things that I am at last
only starting to figure out. Starting with today - Tomorrow even - Carpe
diem. But what to bring to the table and where to start, my goodness?
I last left off proclaiming my retirement from Hackwriters,
in which I obviously did not stick with, (damnit I caved in against
my own self will, how unlike me.) Deciding to stick at it was partly
that a few people, actual readers, wrote me and stated that they actually
enjoy my babble. I felt touched, even at the mere fact that I have readers!
They took the time to write me and asked me to NOT stop writing, wow!
I felt an avid sense of appreciation, for they apparently appreciated
what I had to say; and hence, I shall continue with my rantings. It
didnt take much to convince me to stay with Hacks and I really,
immensely do enjoy both writing and the idea of this magazine. There
are so many creative, talented, interesting and very articulate writers
who contribute to this project and Im kind of proud to be a part
of it. But Im still easy to maneuver, just needed a few e-mails
to help me realize that. (The magazine, not the maneuver part, I knew
that already.) *Thanks for sending me your thoughts people! Glad I stayed
So here I am to bring to you yet some begrudgingly exceptional insight,
another piece of me, giving you the rotting core of my soul, for you
to devour over the next ten minutes.
How deliciously appetizing does that sound? Honestly, the idea of flesh
ripping off my bones sounds so cool to me, rather than getting nauseated
by the horrific idea, which probably shouldnt be considered appealing,
(definitely not if it were to happen in real life.) I wont elaborate
with gory details, but heres a pretty picture for you, if you
will: The idea of flesh ripping off my bones
even hear the tearing noise of anguish in my head as the skin splits
slowly as string cheese being torn apart and then snaps off exposing
a fragile, gusting, soft and slimy, crimson covered, skeletal carcass.
Errr? Shit I dont know where I get my grotesque imagination from
sometimes? Too many horror films or too much LSD I guess? Looks cool
in my sick mind though.
Anyhow, moving on. To catch up with the previous 3 or 4 months -or so,
I have managed to accomplish a couple of hobbies here and there, however
not really many goals, -or any for that matter. Im a great underachiever!
No, no, Ive done a lot of which I have been wanting to do for
quite a while, years even, and have never given it the proper time nor
the effort necessary to get into any of them,and finally I have gotten
off my lard ass and started to do them! I am so happy about this progress,
my God how Ive missed out.
Of course I have been inspired to try these things at last, (youll
hear all about him in a bit) and have had the spare time to be able
to do it also. I went from 3 jobs to nothing, nada, zip
a long story, something along the lines of thinking once more I was
going to travel soon and therefore left all my jobs (OK one of them
I actually got laid off.) I then realized it was not time for me to
go because there was a lot I needed to work on here first, especially
on myself, before I go anywhere else; then running away to another country
would sure be great but Id only come back to the same problems
if and when I would return, so why not sort those out beforehand and
prepare myself for later, when I also have more money to go with.
Ok, so that leaves me jobless and still at home, in Vancouver, Canada,
not frolicking around in Thailand or Ireland or wherever else I was
supposed to be so eagerly going to explore. However, having the time
off, a wonderful thought occurred to me suddenly one day? Seeing as
how I was already disappointed I couldnt get away as expected,
and seeing as how Id probably not get my jobs back after all,
I thought Id just take a little break and have a holiday - in
my own backyard.
You know, just until I find another job, but no hurry, really. I have
some money I saved up for my traveling fund regardless, might as well
have a bit of fun, re-discover the captivating wonders of British Columbia
at least, and Ill only dip into my savings, no big deal -brilliant
It is now a few months later and turns out perhaps my idea wasnt
so brilliant. It was at the time, for a while, but now I have successfully
dug myself a hole, more a bottomless pit, and I am broke and jobless
in Vancouver. Its an ironic twist on Fear and Loathing in Las
Vegas, has that same ring to it dont ya think? Anyways, I
cannot regret it, for what is done is done and much to my dismay I cant
turn back the clock. So at the end of the path hopefully Ive come
out learning from this whole experience. Besides, I have discovered
love for many things since because of the free time and money I have
spent so lavishly. The entirety of my savings account by now, ouch!?
Im digging a deep hole here.
I have fallen in love with an activity, hello snow boarding! All thanks
to a wonderful person whom I seem to be also falling in love with. He
who re-introduced me to the sport after 8 years of contemplation, (when
I was last on the mountain and nearly died in about 4 different ways
and never went back since).
He inspired me to try it again after all this time simply through being
so enthusiastic about it, (a rather die hard appreciation for the mountain,
would probably starve for a week to go up for just one run if he could.)
His excitement made me want to give it a go and I did, and Id
give it my all for now - I love it!
Ive only been up a few times this season, unfortunately, for no
matter how much it is worth it, it is an expensive sport and I cannot
afford it as often as I would hope for.
It is such a good time and a terrific escape from the realities of every
day living. Might I add that I am very happy to be active in something
so liberating. When youre at the top of a lift with a beautiful
and wide peripheral view over the city and trees that looks so awesome
and a blanket of white powder below you waiting for you to play in,
you have no worries about anything, not even falling, because it is
such a freeing sensation. It motivates you, if you know what I mean,
like looking at that makes you wonder if there is any crime and suffering
in this glorious world we have come to let slip between our fingers
with ruthlessness and corruption.
Its as if you accept everything, you cannot resist it. I am quite
disconcerted that I waited 8 years to go up again. What I have been
missing out on, but Im ever so grateful I gave it a chance and
now Im ok with being a bruised beginner! Keen for the big stuff
one day, sooner than later hopefully, but Im not that good yet,
I keep having to remind myself to take one step at a time.
So strap those boots on and Lets Ride!
Not only snow boarding have I recently become infatuated with this wonderful
person that Im snow boarding with. We also go longboarding>like
a skate board but longer, hence the name. I bought my first set of wheels
a month ago and cannot wait to be able to cruise confidently around
busy sidewalks without crashing into innocent, passers by, become practiced
enough to bomb hills (not countries) as it would be called when you
slide down anything that resembles a hill, steep, long, or curvy, even
short. Looks like soooo much fun! My current squeeze does it so elegantly,
like a ballerina on a skateboard, seriously,he just glides on cement
as smoothly as he does through snow. What a hottie! Hes the greatest;
he got me, miss clumsy here, on a long board. How cool is he!? Ohhhh
I simply adore him, hes got such an enticing way of thinking and
living, I never tire of him, which surprises me loads. I always want
to be close with him, except not suffocating, you know, we give each
other space, man, and what do you do when you find a space - you park
in it, dude, whoa, bogus notion! So yeah, I have a guy, a special, smart,
very handsome, wacky, witty and fun loving person, and I hope he doesnt
go anywhere, must find a lead for that one, quite a catch you see! And
dont get me wrong Im not thinking of settling down too quick
or anything like that just because I found someone I genuinely appreciate
and want to see more of in future, in retrospect I just enjoy his companionship,
thats all, no fucking wedding bells ringing in my head.
Right, so long boarding, I was saying, (I got carried away thinking
about him and now Im all giggly and excited) Ive only just
barely learned how to stop, which is definitely a good idea, especially
on streets with traffic, go figure, but I am still very un-secure and
wobbly, I havent found my balance yet. I need to find my center,
not just for long boarding, for my own good.
What else have I done recently with my prolonged holiday? Went to Tofino,
at the top of Vancouver Island (on the Pacific coast), absolutely liberating
and enchanting, unlike the hustle of daily city life. It leaves you
renewed in a way. Didnt like coming back much, stress suddenly
reawakens. Spent that nice little escape with my baby and his charming
parents who came for a visit for their first time away from home and
it made such an impact on them; such darling people, Ill miss
them. Makes me resent mine almost, but only because we live in the same
country, I really appreciate and love them to death; only sometimes
we want to strangle each other, fair enough. But how can you describe
living off a beach like that? I mean you really lose yourself at peace,
total contentment and a clear vision. I havent felt that relaxed
in a while, it was astonishing. Four days of chill-axing, how vague
and how nice.
Oh yes, ok so a brief run down of what we have discussed thus far; the
past few months Ive found a tremendous lover that I originally
got all wiggy about the idea of a man entering my protective sphere
again and now have no desire to check out another mans bum, (only chicks
bums, for comparison only, errr
) I have met and made new friends
in an intimate group of individuals who are all so beautiful and innovative,
I have got lost at sea in mesmeration on a weekend get away. I have
boozed it up enough to last a life time, I have lost my boarding virginity
on the mountain and the road, although must acquire the skills for bigger
and better (turns, control and landings), I have very savagely, un-carefully
and very stupidly spent ALL of my savings, and have left my bank and
pockets lonesome. I have stressed myself out to the point it affects
my emotions and causes conflict with those dear to me, and last but
not least, I have finally got myself a new home, moved out of Coquitlam,
after all this clawing to get out of this forsaken city and many restless
nights couch surfing. Relief, if only I still worked to pay my accommodation
privileges now. Its a cute and extraordinarily old house, a triplex,
that desperately needs a paint job and a clean up, but it is mine so
who cares, well mine and my roommates who share the place, two guys
I recently met whom so far appear kosher and reliable enough. This is
pretty much my first move per say, except for making myself comfortable
at a boyfriends place and living there, but I was never really at home
there. The area is so convenient, mates on either side of the neighborhood,
coffee houses galore, grocery shopping, vegetable stands, its
awesome. Many distinctive people live by the strip, a promising hippy
village, I so dig it! Everything I need to survive is on the drive,
(as far as materialistic goods, funky people observing and food supplies
And that is what I have been engaged with lately, such fascinating and
You can take a break now. grab a coffee and come
back for more confessions....
Self realization and walking without suffering those sharp stones in
my shoe a minute longer - Bob Marley quotes Emancipate yourselves
from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our own minds.
True words of wisdom from an inspirational legend So with my time off
I havent just been drinking in abundance, meeting new, unique
and very cool, overall fantastic people, (whom this guy introduced me
to his wonderful family of friends as well,) moving out and fearing,
yet also clinging to independence, gallivanting around snowboarding
and skating if I can and basically having as much FUN as I possibly
could get away with, *although I have had plenty of it, until now, but
its been superb! I have also spent the past few weeks, (which
feels like eternity at times when you are so beat and down) re-assessing
my lifestyle and finding out who I am and what I am going to do.
I have been exceptionally over stressed the past week, not knowing how
I am going to pay for rent coming up, if I can even take the transit
because I need a buck for laundry for I cant even afford gas anymore,
never mind other expenses on top. I am hopelessly handing out resumes
although I have had the wrong attitude in looking for jobs all along,
which stops now; not the job search part but the bad vibe aura hanging
over me part. I have not been myself; Ive been distraught. Last
time I got this anxious and hyper (but not in the friendly sense of
energy) I got remarkably ill, cant allow that to happen now can
Nonetheless I brought this all on myself, no denying, I fully admit
it and accept the consequences, (well I guess I have to) but I wont
let the blame make me feel worse, if I cant eat what Ive
put on my plate then I shall starve thereafter, but now I have to swallow
my pride and get through it. I know Ive behaved considerably irresponsibly
and immaturely but I cant control it at this point, and it is
ruining everything I do. I definitely need to find my center; in fact
I am rather sideways and backwards at the moment, just a distasteful
screwball. Im even breaking out over this, I dont get pimples!
I am so unrelaxed that I couldnt get a proper massage, I kept
tensing up, I must flush out all my toxins that have built up over years
of destruction and rid of it along with my threatening waves of uncalled
There needs to be a lot of changes.- Basically everything I am used
to and let dictate the way I make decisions and live my life, is wrong.
I am so ungrounded and unstable right now, there is no way Ill
get balance like this, I cant seem to get a grip. I have to have
a void for everything, I dont know what space it is I am so eager
to fill, but I rely on all the wrong vices. I should be fulfilled enough
without having to use them, and I mean fulfilled in a positive way.
Ive got to stop and un-train myself from what I need to get me
by, because it usually is not in my favor and for all the wrong reasons.
I cant start my day thinking that I cannot be awake without a
coffee, that is unnatural, besides, caffeine makes me more edgy and
Im edgy enough as is. Ive got to wake up and inhale my surroundings
and embrace the day, soak it all up. Tune in instead of tuning out.
Maybe even try turning down my music for once, (but never off) I always
try to drown the world out but the world inside my head is not a happy
place either, or rather at all right now, and the world can be as beautiful
as you want to see it being. I must get back into spirituality, it helps
me focus in so many ways and I am utterly blurry eyed with this situation.
I need to pay more attention and find direction. The first thing I do
after I get a job (or two, to be realistic) and after rent, paying off
the bank debts and a loan from my father, a reward tattoo and taking
my family to dinner and kidnapping my non-titled boyfriend out on a
phenomenal adventure, (OK maybe like the 6th thing I do when I get a
job,) is that I am adamantly certain Im getting a yoga membership!
Shit bollocks do I ever need to relax, I cant keep still Im
so flustered, a meditation remedy is just the ticket, and I love tickets!
Oh I do love to love, I hate sopping and being a miserable, dramatically-intense-in-a-bad-sense,
deflated-from-my-happy-cloud-due-to-financial-concerns- whiny winger.
But while we are on the subject, for I really should get rid of this
hefty baggage on my chest, not that my boobs are that big or anything,
another of my lesser qualities I can now recognize and want to put away
(this is a bit of a search and destroy theory isnt it) is that
I have a major issue with contradiction. I never make up my mind where
I can be comfortable and satisfied with my decisions. I CONTRADICT EVERY
THOUGHT OR IDEA. This is hideous! This makes it difficult for people
to understand me. Therefore
no one knows what I truly am trying to say and its disgustingly
aggravating. I cant give a simple answer; Im so complex
that I make it difficult to understand what Im saying myself.
I need to work on that a.s.a.p! Top priority, well, amongst other priorities,
ie: getting work, paying bills, building relationships, clearing head
of all that nasty and needless clutter.
Lets use a prime example. I am involved with a man who is so incredibly
wonderful and extremely patient to put up with me through this tormenting
period, that I want so badly to express it to him just how much he means
to me, how much I care about him, how lovely he is and how much I appreciate
it. But I can only come out with tears because I dont know what
to say or how to say it. As if I am crying because I like the guy, that
does not sound justifiably correct at all. Then it sounds as if Im
uncertain or that Im being sarcastic and it kills him, and me.
If I can scream out in swear words, why cant I do what I feel
urged to do and just scream out I love you! and Thank
you for being there and for being you! Screaming to yourself in
the car Ffffuuuucccckkkk! doesnt make you feel that
great, I mean it does release some tension, but doesnt affect
your mood any better, wouldnt Ah, I love you baby
make you feel so much more invigorated! You see I always battle with
myself, I refuse to heed even my own opinions. Ive got to learn
how to accept things and calm down and let things happen for a reason,
rather than get all fussed and emotional over it.
I never thought of myself to be a negative person, I most often am cheery
and bubbly and silly, which I blatantly am acting now, a complete buffoon!
But apparently I have created this situation I am in. However I have
handled it entirely disgracefully and let the worry and anger and pain
consume my every nerve. Uh-oh, bad combo for me. However, I have chosen
it to be this painful and for that I am angry with myself. I hate it,
and its not the way I want to be. Im not a hater man. Somehow
Ive built up for so long this huge, heavy package that Ive
created all this stress upon my own shoulders and its nearly as
drastic as not being able to relax and enjoy simple pleasures. I am
the sweet girl, not always sensible, but make better choices than this;
compassionate, happy go lucky, goofy, grinning, free spirited, open
minded, easy going person, and that is the Tabytha that I know I am,
but she has recently been replaced by this little, hidden dark pit that
snuck up suddenly from a hole that was presumed buried and contained,
but somehow leaked and now seems to have sucked it (my wholesomeness
of character) all out of me, and thats the Tabytha I do not recognize.
Nor like very much, the dry, cynical, numb one whos left like
an empty sack just hopelessly dropped on the floor amongst dirt and
dust, alone with defeat. The delightful Tabytha is the full sack of
round and shiny potatoes that doesnt let a little dirt block her
from anything! My God Im such a complicated being! I have always
gone the dodgy route thinking that maybe it will make things simpler
later on then, but then you get lost in the process regardless. Its
not healthy. I sell myself short and end up missing the good stuff.
I tend to live in the past instead of looking to the future, which is
horrible. Good to an extent, for memories sake and to reflect where
youve been and where you are today. But I hold onto it and live
through my past- if that makes sense, because it sure doesnt to
me. I have no explanation why I do that. Does it mean I wont move
on? I must live for today and tomorrow, not yesterday, its gone
already, old news. Not only that, but I also get easily stressed if
things dont go my way or the way I thought I had it planned, like
it wasnt supposed to be like this, the way I had imagined or worked
for. Then I get disappointed or resent my actions instead of accepting
and dealing with it and trying something else, for theres always
Man.Thats another bit of advice my lovely has taught me, which
I am still learning and need to practice, is pure acceptance, not resisting.
I have to fight off anything that comes my way, even if I need it. Im
so bloody obstinate I wont even ask for help when deep down Im
a little puppy dog begging for you all to be proud of me and love me.
I am hoping to be fully independent, but does a bridge hold itself up?
I need to accept that I need support, and I truly realize that I do
have it and should be grateful. Why fight it you stupid muck, you can
still achieve things on your own but you dont have to be alone.
I let my mother hug me today, usually I try to push her away, and it
felt nice. I love hugs and kisses, I am extremely affectionate and I
adore touching people (in all the appropriate places), but sometimes
I turn into this kind of person who says back off, dont get close
to me, like Im a rabies infected animal thatll bite
your hand off. Very outlandishly, stand-offish, as if this circle surrounding
me is a barricaded and poisonous wall. Theres another problem,
my God Im full of them hey, full of shit that must be eviscerated
at once. Thankfully I can see this now and dissect it without analyzing
it all too much and sort my life out. This is amazing, I am relieved
I can pick apart all my flaws and faults, so as to work on them. What
a concept, see, so simple already. I can cope and get over this, I just
got a bit distracted and discouraged for a while, I can bring it all
back up again.
Admittingly though, Ive always been a bit depressed, I have ADD
and OCD, nervous habits and a lot of rubbish nonsense windling through
my head. I was almost convinced I conquered that years back, and although
it is creeping, Im only doing it to myself and only I can prevent
it. Now Ive seen it coming. Im ready to pounce you asshole!
There is no way Im going to let some fucking little pit suck the
energy out of me any longer. Wow, I fully believe in myself here. I
believe I can achieve anything and that I have good karma deserved very
soon. I am squatting duck for now, but the instant the ball goes it
wont stop rolling. I cannot wait for it and I know its round
the corner, I just have to go there and in baby steps, not frantic leaps
of desperation, make my way around it and there awaiting me will be
the hallway of opportunity. Failure will not be an option.
I want to start doing so many things Ive always said and dreamed
of doing. Where to start the list, I want to do everything I can and
Im not scared that time will run out and that I have to freak
out and rush to do it, because I am young yet and have a while to climb
the ladder and enjoy it as it comes along. I want do the yoga classes
Ive been aching for, I want to walk tall with my head on straight,
I want to be focused and yet also lost in those little moments of appreciation
for the beauty of life.
I want to
play the guitar loud and proud. I want to take a photography course.
I want to write more. I want to paint at least 3 canvases before summer.
I want to get fit and eat healthier, I want to have manageable sleeping
hours and get my recuperation so that I am fresh and prepared the day
ahead of me.
I want to work hard and enjoy it and earn every dollar, I want to become
close with loved ones. I want to chill out and feel calm, talk slower
and clearer, take a moment to breathe deeply before I speak. I want
to cut my hair and stop fretting over it. I want to smile all the time.
I want to make those around me smile. I want to feel passionate and
alive again. I want to travel and explore other cultures. I want to
learn a second language. I want to clean up and decorate my new home.
I want to help people. I want to join a goddamned book club. I want
my soul to fly. I want to bask in the sun and kick my feet up without
worrying about wasting my day. I want to be guilt free. I want to be
I want to learn more each day, I want to stand side by side with my
boyfriend without feeling trapped and let him be my partner and friend
and just have a great time together without fretting over feelings or
being totally serious. I want to cruise on my long board without shaking.
I want to quit my disgusting smoking and nail picking habits that have
been with me for nearly a decade and not fall back to it in a moment
of fluster. I want to take my dog swimming in a non-littered lake that
I can skinny dip in. I want my legs and shoulders tattooed, I want to
be independent and free. I want to speak my mind and not take it back.
I want to feel uplifted and never come down on myself in a moment of
weakness. I want to accept and be accepted. I want to be hopeful and
not render a feeling of hopelessness. I want to laugh, at myself and
the world. I want to cry out of joy. I want to gain knowledge and teach
others. I want to discover the art of love making, tantra sex and kink
(in most aspects, and all over again from a new perspective!) I want
to feel released of the burdens I flood my self with. I want to have
my energy back, the sparkle in my eyes, the innocent curiosity of a
child back. I want to take my time, I want to have an understanding.
I want to be secure and grounded. I want to make amends with my family
and see them happy and successful. I want loyal and honest friends and
see them happy and successful. I want to be sincere, strong, confident,
successful, healthy, beautiful and inspiring. I just want to be me.
I just want to live - a happy and fulfilling life.
This is the means of and end, the end of an era, the end of this terrible
fate, because it is not for me. I have had a major epiphany, like I
have taken off my sunglasses and can see what color the sky is for the
first time in a long time, I almost forgot what it looked like for a
while there. This is only the beginning, and I am lucky to be able to
figure this out at 21 years old and start truly living now. Welcome
world, the future is mine
well, my future is anyhow! Bring it on
then, drum roll please.
Take care, Sincerely, The redeemed, anti-conformist, go getter attitude,
salvation of my presence from this day forth, loving and unconventional,
the new found going back to the old, Tabytha xox
© Tabytha Towe April 2004
From A Brother
was a confrontational day, tomorrow is a new and magnificent day! Cheers!
Tabba I really like your writing. It gives me insight in to your state
of mind and that in turn allows me to understand you better. I know
how we act towards you and I understand the way you react towards us.
I also know that right now you feel stressed and life seems so hard.
I promise you that life wont be hard for long as soon as you understand
what your purpose is in it. I can't tell you what your purpose is, the
most enjoyable part is getting to figure that out on your own. You have
always done things differently from me and the rest of the world and
I admire you for that, you have so much courage. The problems you have
faced and will continue to face are because you always take the hard
route. I know you strive towards independence, but your perception of
independence is skewed. No one can survive and be happy on their own.
No one can get anywhere in life without help. You have the support from
me, your true friends and family. You have a good life and a good soul,
but you continue to contradict it with unhappiness and negative thoughts.
Deep down I know you want to be happy, so quit choosing to be sad, it
is that simple. I know right now it is an uphill battle but you know
best when I say that challenges are what makes us better. Think about
it, would you be the person you are today if you were never faced with
challenges. You have overcome most of them, but those battles were ones
you could not choose. You know what battles I am talking about. You
agreed with me when I said you were living in the past. I am guilty
of the same thing. It wasnt till just recently that I realized
that future is more important because we have control over it. I have
so many regrets about my past and I have so many fond memories, no matter
what I will always have those and so will you. But I want to help you
realize that we are still young and have so much to look forward to.
You have the control of your future, you control whether it is good
or bad. You have potential and this world is a very big place you will
find your purpose eventually, just quit taking the hard road. The hard
road isnt necessary for you anymore, you have been that route.
You have gained character and insight that most these people can never
understand. You have the advantage in life, so quit selling your self
short, use it. Fuck grades or written credentials, you have persevered
through shit that most people will crumble if faced with it. Dont
listen to what others think of how you should live your life, find out
for yourself. You want to be happy but you act sad, you want to be nice
but can act like a bitch. You like fancy things but you feel you dont
deserve them, these contradictions are holding you back. You have come
a long way Tab and you are on the right track if you look forward to
the long road ahead. Flash forward to ten years from now, you will be
31. you might be an aunt or maybe even a mother. I hope you will look
back and say I have had a great life. I am extremely confident that
you do and will continue to have a good life.The problem is I dont
think you know that. Simplify your thoughts and your actions. Achieve
clarity, rationalize before you act and you will limit your mistakes.
You have a good head but we all know you lack common sense. Dont
worry though you can still get it. I have lots a faith and pride invested
in who you are and who you are going to be. Sorry for being harsh on
you and sorry for making you think that there is something wrong with
you. You are an original and I dont want to change that. I just
want to see you find yourself because I know you are looking. Unfortunately
you have always been looking in the wrong places. But you are smarter
and I think you will find what you have been searching for soon. Every
tomorrow will eventually become a yesterday, but you will always live
in today and may your todays always be happy ones. Love you my big sister,
and good luck with the roads ahead, and always remember you have my
support even if I dont show it. P.S. I think you should quit smoking
and drinking and start getting more healthy. I know you know, but nothing
is getting done about it.
Towe discovers a reason for living
The Vancouver Diaries
SEVEN and a half-EIGHT-
Africa Diaries) EIGHTEEN
- NINETEEN- TWENTY
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