The International Writers Magazine: Review

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John Dies At The End by David Wong Published by Permuted Press (2007) Paperback: 376 pages ISBN-10: 0978970764 ISBN-13: 978-0978970765 • Jack Clarkson "Okay Guys, this is just retarded enough to work." If Douglas Adams had written Horror instead of Science Fiction… He would have written something a bit like John Dies at the End. John Dies at the End first saw the light of day as an online series of instalments written by David Wong on his comedy website www.pointlesswasteoftime.com which grew into a full novel. The story was so good that David was given a publishing deal even though half the audience had already read the book online.

So now you’re a bit late to the party, but I think there are still a couple of bowls of Doritos left, and there’s still time to catch up if you just drink that Vodka nobody else wants to touch…

It’s hard to describe the plot of John Dies at the End because it’s just so weird at times you need the context to remain sane. So let it suffice that it begins when two college wasters called John and Dave have a bad experience with a drug called "The Soy Sauce" which John was given by a levitating Jamaican, Dave is dragged into things when he thinks John has just had a bad trip and ends up taking it as well when it jumps out of the syringe and burrows through his skin…

Side effects include nausea, dizziness and the ability to see into the depths of hell itself… Which turns out to be right here when the levitating Jamaican explodes in a mass of self replicating parasites that threaten to take over the world. That’s just one chapter…

The book starts as a series of apparently unconnected episodes in John and Dave’s life which all converge together in one of the most amazing endings I have ever seen, along the way we see a guy that can survive being shot in the head several times who goes by the name of ‘Shitload’, a flying, light-socket humping jelly-fish, a man made of cockroaches, racist lyrics to "Losing My Religion" and a parallel dimension John calls "Shit Narnia"… Oh, and a demon killing weapon comprised of a Bible sellotaped to a baseball bat!

David Wong’s writing is lucid, effective and hilariously funny. You will never see an author who can so easily make you laugh and then make you too scared to turn the lights off at night… and then make you laugh again seconds later!
Big Jim said, "We were talking about that. Jen and I think he eats human flesh to survive. Fred thinks he’s making a suit of human skin, using the best parts from each of us."
"Holy crap," said John. "He’ll be gorgeous!"

Imagine how much you laughed while reading "The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy", you will laugh just that hard! And, dare I say it… even harder at times! Even if sometimes that laughter will be the nervous, terrified laughter people have when they’ve got no option but to either laugh or break down and cry…

If there’s anything to criticise about the book, it’s that it’s so hard to get a hold of. You can get a copy from Amazon.co.uk, but you won’t find it on shelves at your local Waterstones. And there is a chance that the sense of humour won’t be exactly what you’re into… But if you actually have a sense of humour, and can take the odd penis joke with good grace you will be absolutely fine!

If you’re looking for a book that will make you laugh and you like Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett you will probably love this!

Come on! All the cool kids are doing it!

© Jack Clarkson January 2008
clarksonj@hotmail.co.uk

Jack is studying Creative Writing at the University of Portsmouth

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