The bitter taste
|It was all
so good in the beginning. Perfect some might say, a paradise even.
We had everything we could have possibly wanted. There was no one
trying to tell us how to live our lives. Well, apart from him.
But he never interfered that much and if you hadnt
kept talking to him we would probably never have even seen him.
But you could never make your mind up to do anything without talking
to him first and so he became a part of our lives. I didnt
mind at first because there was so much to learn and explore. But
eventually there was only one place left that we hadnt visited.
But you wouldnt go even though I really wanted to. Oh no,
because he said not to.
Okay, so maybe I
should never have listened to Luc. But you have no idea how good it
was to talk to someone who would listen and who didnt forbid things.
And yes, I know I was stupid to believe that he wanted me as much as
I wanted him but you and I had grown stale. I needed something new and
he offered me so much that I had never had before. Knowledge, excitement
and adventure. And the most delicious piece of fruit that I have ever
tasted. And I tried to share that with you. And you liked it for a while
and then you panicked.
And all that fuss about a bit of clothing. Lets get one thing
clear. It wasnt that I suddenly minded being naked. It was more
a practical thing. There were a lot of thorns in that garden and I was
sick of getting pricked when I picked fruit. And I felt that it added
that element of surprise in our relationship.
And then you told him about the apple and he made us move, since it
was his house we had been staying in and he didnt approve
of our new lives or our clothes. Of course, you never let me explain
why I had done it. You insisted on doing all the talking and, if you
dont mind me saying so, you made a bit of a mess of it. And thanks
for putting most of the blame on me. If I remember rightly I didnt
exactly force you to have a bite. Maybe if you had cared more about
what I thought rather than what he thought, we might not be in this
We did try to patch things up for a while. Remember the delight we felt
when our boys were born (although I did think it was a bit unfair of
your friend to refuse me all pain relief). I mean, he cursed us both,
but I would say that your part in the business of procreation was all
enjoyment, while mine was a slight enjoyment, tempered with nine months
of discomfort and two days of screaming agony. But the boys were worth
it. And you and I became close again. Although you could never forget
I did love
you once. But you became even more superior once the boys were
born. I think that what annoyed me the most was the way you would
descibe me as your spare part. You seemed to think that because
there were three of you that made you superior. And you took all
the credit for the boys being born, conveniently forgetting the
(rather large) part that I had played in it. You said that you
had created them and I was just a vessel. I was a little hurt
by that.And you would never let me name anything, not even the
boys. You got to name everything, even me. Dont you understand
how that made me feel - as though I were purely put here for your
was easy in the beginning. But I suppose what happened was that,
later on, I wanted to grow and you wanted to stay the same. I
suppose if youre the one calling the shots then you see
no reason for change. But I feel that there is more to life than
just being your helpmeet. And its hard loving someone who
thinks that they are perfect.
Im not sure what Ill do now. There appears to be a
large world out here. I always said that we should expand our
horizons a little and not just be prepared to settle for our own
back yard. I might come back. In some ways it does feel very strange
to be apart from you. Its like we belong together, as though
we were one being split into two. Maybe I just need some time
apart to find out who I really am, as a separate individual and
not as one of two.
Ive taken the boys with me. They seem to be coping reasonably
well although Cain is a little on edge. Ill let you know
when weve settled somewhere. I hear there may be a place
coming up in Babel Towers.
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