The International Writers Magazine:Life and Death - just a
Colin Todhunter on kisses
can still recall the first time I kissed her. It was in fact the
first tine I had kissed anyone. She was beautiful. We were both
in the full bloom of youth and felt that life would last forever.
I did not know her for long, but all these years later I still remember
her. That kiss was a kiss for life: a celebration of youth, of living
for the now, and of hope for the future.
I still remember my last kiss. It was only two weeks ago. But it was
somewhat different. That is an understatement. It could not have been
more different. The difference between my first and last is gargantuan.
It was also a kiss for life. The type of kiss I gave on the last occasion
is actually known as the kiss of life. You know the kind: mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation. Trying to breathe life into someone. But what happens
when the person is not resuscitated? What happens when that person is
already dead and deep down you keep on trying just in case you may be
wrong? Well, I was virtually certain that he was gone, but
persisted nonetheless. Where life has once been, there is always hope.
How can it just disappear into thin air? - merely fade away like that?
But it didnt return. It cant be captured and held, only
released. And it was a strange feeling, giving the kiss of life to someone
already dead. More like a kiss of death, a kiss for death. As he lay
there, a mere bundle of lifeless tissues, I felt frustrated: I couldnt
do anything to change matters and I felt the world had lost a man, so
full of energy and eternal optimism. And there was of course the thumping
reminder that one day I would be as he was: a humbling sensation to
say the least.
I had known that girl from years back fairly well. I had also known
that man who lay dead quite well. Two kisses, decades apart. Ill
always recall the first and Ill never forget the last; one for
love and one for life: both recipients now lost forever.
It was all just a breath away. Sorry for the glib cliché. Life's
like that at times: getting to the point where you just can't be bothered
to finish on a deep and meaningful note. Best just to take one last
gasp and merely fade away...
© Colin Todhunter March 2004
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