THE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS OF A BUDDHIST AMONG BAPTISTS
• Reverend Father Antonio Hernández, O.M.D., A.B.F.
Founder of the Independent Order of American Buddhist Fathers
suriak@yahoo.com

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FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS As this column is being written, Christmas is hard upon us. By the time this will be read, the holidays will be past. Still it won't keep me from venting a few ambiguous and conflicting feelings. These feelings revolve around a squat red kettle and the apparent hobos who stand by them, clanging away with horrible brass bells. That's right: the Salvation Army and its obnoxious begging routine.

"THEREFORE, TAKE UNTO THYSELVES A BRASS BELL, AND A POT OF DEEPEST DEPTH, AND GO YE FORTH TO VEX AND DISCOMFIT ALL WHO PASS BY YE, TIL THEY DO GIVE UNTO THEE MANY COINS." Oh… wait… that's not in the Gospels. In fact, NOTHING like that is in the Gospels or in the entire Christian religion!!
It is unfathomable to me why stores allow these bell-ringing terrors to stand in their doorways. Notice that they are not at your local pizza joint (are they?)- they are always in front of the grocery store and the pharmacy. They know where to stalk their prey, clanging away and tossing out dour stares and sometimes semi-evil glares.

Hey, buddy, I didn't tell you to stand in zero degree weather and ring a stupid bell. All I want is my prescription, and to get out of there as quickly as I can.
The constantly nagging commercialism of Christianity (A-HA! You thought I was going to write "Christmas") is revolting. More revolting than the commercialization of Christmas ever could get. In Buddhism, there is a lively, two-and-a-half-millennia-old door-to-door begging tradition. The monks go out on certain days, stand in front of every door and entrance they encounter, chant a few prayers for some moments in the hope of getting a donation. Then, most importantly, they leave quickly.
Buddhists accept anything and everything. It is against our beliefs to charge money, require fees for services, or make specific donation amount requests. It is also forbidden to make a pest of oneself. The Buddha clearly stated that making an annoyance of oneself is stupid and nonproductive- he also taught that serious Buddhists should keep away from such people. However, the act of begging strengthened a monk's feelings of humility and compassion, and that's why they did it.

If any reader thinks my outlook is grouchy, you should live in Japan- that's where the door-to-door begging is most alive and well. Yet the temple monks are FRIGHTENED to make their now largely ceremonial begging-bowl rounds. Shopkeepers commonly barge out into the street to chase the monks away with bucketsful of water or stout Japanese brooms. What do you think they'd do to SA bell ringers? Ah, if only….

The deepest and noblest act of lovingkindness and compassion is to humiliate oneself for the sake of another. Begging on the Buddhist level was purely for survival; the ancient ways didn't allow for anything else, and India has always been the land of the beggars. Still, Buddhists begged because they also taught, crafted items, helped the community in other ways and prayed on behalf of all the people. Buddhists were very popular for officiating at funerals. Well, they had to eat!

The door-to-door begging tradition ended, for the most part, in A.D. 1st century China. The Chinese hate beggars in ways we cannot imagine here. No Chinese Buddhist monk begs. It was more important to them to serve the community and teach the peasants; thus they broke the Buddhist tradition of not tilling the soil or settling down permanently. The Chinese embraced Buddhism precisely because Buddhism quit begging when it became a nuisance. Chinese Buddhists say that begging is alive and well in Japan because Japanese monks are lazy and unenlightened.
Why don't others take the hint?

Because of my strong feelings and because I give in other ways to better causes, I rush angrily past these ridiculous bell ringers and their battered red pots. I uncharacteristically ignore their greetings, because I am not a Christian and I don't like Christian hypocritical "niceties". In Buddhism, the bell plays a vital role in prayer and chanting, so my teeth grate when I hear bells pealing loudly within six inches of my bad ear. The begging bowl is so vital to Buddhism that becoming a Buddhist monk is often called "taking up the bowl". Thus I resent seeing a fat kettle being stuffed with money of whatever denomination. Don't even think about trying to throw in a handful of rice.

Lastly, in actual keeping with Christian Gospel teachings, Buddhists are taught to give until it hurts. Furthermore, this is to be done in secret as much as possible. (Giving curmudgeonly opinions freely and openly is another matter.) What the Salvation Army has done is, for want of better terms, tantamount to religious pimping.

If the Salvation Army- and Christians in general- truly lived the spirit of Christ and His Gospels, they would throw the kettles and bells out the window. They would stop pestering and guilt-tripping busy customers. They would go to their homes, root through every possession and every last available cent and do something helpful with it all. They would do good things in secret, and would give their coats to an honest beggar, if they had nothing else to give.

Instead, they send out mindless lackeys (do you ever see attorneys or doctors out there?) with bells, kettles, drums and whistles. These hapless bell ringers then act out a pantomime of a facsimile of a shadow of Christian charity and compassion. It goes on for weeks. Year after year it never stops. Even the ban on the bell ringing was rescinded, and no one complained.
It's too bad there's no mute button for that particular commercial.

© Reverend Antonio Hernández, O.M.D., A.B.F. Jan '04
suriak@yahoo.com
*Disagree? The give to the Salvation Army here - in secret and quiet of your own computer space.

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