The International Writers Magazine: REALITY CHECK
Vacuum of Journalism
" Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody
I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers."
- Jimmy Breslin
Who is the cheap
whore who sandbagged George Pataki? He is a friend and a warrior, if
not dumbfounded by party politics and bad associations with stammering
trolls like Al D'Amato, but weve long forgiven him his deviances
here. Heck, weve known the governor, more or less, since he stood
on the platform of the Peekskill train station one late July dawn hawking
votes for mayor. Weve worked with his daughter and hung with his
campaign rubes, and we like their demented ilk. So when anyone railroads
our kind, like these recreant piss boys trying to play Linda Tripp with
the suddenly lazy-ass NY Post, we arm for war.
I guess this is what passes for front-page dirt in the once gloriously
primal NY Post now. The halcyon days are officially over. What happened
to the kind of world-class yellow journalism that had W. R. Hearst spinning
happy in his eternity box like "Tea with Son of Sam"
or "Ed Koch Steals Money from the Federal Government",
"Uncle Rudys Trigger-Happy Blue Line Guns Down Delivery
Boy", or "Donald Trump Caught in Plaza Bathroom Snorting
Coke Off Corpulent Hookers Cleavage"?
They should be ashamed of themselves over there. I mean, really.
Who the fuck cares if Libby Pataki thinks the Giulianis are publicity
hounds? They are, and they love it. And what if a dime-store widget
gaffer like this Wall Street groupie, Thomas Doherty is pissed about
his seating at the states GOP fundraisers? I know Doherty. Republican
insiders laugh at this idiot. It would not surprise me if he leaked
Perhaps if Pataki were getting Hummers from chubby interns or building
tennis centers with firemen funds, wed have something here. But
this meaningless nonsense is wrong and fucked and needs to be settled
in a court of law, especially in a nation where journalists are routinely
being jailed for protecting sources while mutant vermin like Robert
Novak run free.
We absolutely cannot have civilians running wiretaps while the FBI has
the type of Gestapo freedom international law enforcement creams over.
If anyone was to know what was going on through these phone lines over
here at The Desk, wed be deported or worse. I do not, under any
circumstances, want to end up in a pile of naked POWs in Guantanamo
Wait a minute. Fuck this. Was I just at a diner in Wayne reading a scroll
on CNN that claimed that Pat Robertson, voice of the Christ Incarnate,
just called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez?
How beautiful is that? I nearly choked up my mediocre veggie burger
on the spot. Hes got to be kidding, right? Was he in a Jesus trance,
calling on the Lords vengeance for the evil darkies? What a terrific
monster this guy is. Not Chavez, although he is an annoying twit, but
Robertson, once a candidate for president, now reduced to a graying
freak show, curing brain cancer victims BEFORE they contract cancer;
a thing of beauty, really.
PT Barnums adage is as true today as the day he burped it at McSorleys
Bar on the Lower East Side nearly 150 years ago. There is a sucker born
every day, and they vote in South America and they listen to Christian
Evangelists and buy stories of laundry lists for the NY Post. Perhaps
we can put Pat and his God Boys on the Pataki Phone Tapes case. Weed
out the chickenshit buggers like Chuck Colson once did for Nixon, before
Liddy and Hunt and the CIA boys screwed it up by leaving White House
checks with the valet at the Watergate. Those guys knew how to play
it, not like Doherty or Novak. These hacks couldnt make Nixons
starting line-up. That took balls, and an utter lack of respect for
places like heaven. Doherty just wants to be loved, and Novak is a whiney
bitch, who walks off television debate shows after being verbally horse-whipped
by a lame pansy like James Carville. I think if Pat Robertson is going
to blather stupid shit like murdering presidents, like my irresponsibly
professional pitch for Castros head a few weeks back, he should
be on some kind of ticket come 2006. Get in the arena, and stop hiding
behind the hem of the Virgin Mary. I might join him. We need his kind
to show us the festering boils beneath the pomp and revelry of democracy,
where anyone with half a brain can ramble on for a thousand words and
God Bless America! This brings me to this Cindy Sheehan person, who
doesnt get paid to make a spectacle of herself like me, Novak
or Robertson. But she has done a fine job of it, and although the war
propaganda hounds over at FOX NEWS like Brit Hume have decided she is
a misguided fool, she gets plenty of liberal press. And none of it is
good for this aborted war effort, now reduced to the foulest kind of
bloody suicide for the poor suckers who joined the armed forces.
Believe me, there will be more like her to come, even though, bless
their wounded hearts, they will have all left the barn door open, and
be far too late to bemoan the loss. If Sheehan really loved her son,
she might have talked him out of joining this folly more vehemently.
But, then again, he was a big boy. He wanted to be a soldier, and soldiers
die. Presidents send them there. This was the case hundreds of years
before any of these kids marched to the firing squad. Hey, PT Barnum
was right about another thing: No one is forced to come into the tent
to see the show, you know.
© James Campion
also Deep Throat and other
stories in our Comment
Legal - the case for drugs
We Want Bolton
Den of Iniquity
Rove - superhero
Castro must Die!
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