The International Writers
Girls need passes
Guy Block hated tutorials.
A long spring afternoon was laid out in front of him with nothing
but a depressing wave upon wave of snivelling students demanding
his full and earnest attention.
It wasnt fair.
He wanted to be in the pub. That nice new one down the road from the campus,
the one where every barmaid seemed to be bursting out of their tops.
Whats the collective noun?
An uplift of barmaids?
Yes, Guy liked that.
Instead he would have to sit here with the pale and unwashed, malnourished
A shadow of Goths.
A pain of Emos.
A tentative knock was heard at the door and Guy with a sigh, beckoned
the owner of the knock in.
Daisy Pythian entered just as tentatively as her knock was. A slim and
slight girl with round spectacles and long hair that resembled parted
curtains from her face, Guy recalled that she had not unattractive growing
buds under her green peace shirt and a rather cute dumpy boyish bottom
under her tie-dyed baggy jeans. A shy smile broke out across her features
as she took a seat opposite Guy and breathily she placed her paperwork
on the desk, unhooking her bulging bag from her shoulder at the same time.
Guy Block raised a quizzical eyebrow, the international body language
movement for how can I help?
Daisy Pythian had clearly not studied international body language at the
same place as Guy for she instead smiled a bit more broadly, let out another
breathy shy laugh and placed a hand above her eye to remove the stray
hair that was falling into her vision.
"Well" Guy drawled
fine thanks" Daisy near whispered
"No" dear God, "I mean, what can I do for you?"
Daisys mouth shaped the perfect O and with another breathy
giggle proceeded to flick through the papers in front of her. "Well,
its about my last assignment" she started.
But Guy didnt need to listen any further for he knew what was about
to come next. Guy had failed Daisys last assignment; the poor girl
clearly didnt grasp the nature of what was required and so, our
survey said, sod off. Now she had come in to ask him to go through it
and possibly even reconsider.
Why are students so unoriginal?
"And so I wonder if maybe you could reconsider my mark?" she
concluded, an apprehensive little finger touched at her slightly acne-ed
Exactly as predicted.
I thank you.
Guy leaned further across the desk and took in her large doe eyes from
behind her spectacles. She had rather nice eyes, Guy thought, with a small
twitch of the head as he took them in, nice inky pools, inviting to take
in her soul. It was the first time hed noticed them.
Guy became aware that he had been staring and the little trademark husky
laugh emitted once more from Daisy.
"Ah look, the thing is Daisy, well, your assignment wasnt really
up to scratch yknow? At this level at this time into the course
I would expect better from my students ysee? And frankly well
you can do better on a second attempt" He said
and then put on the caring smile that he had perfected, along with a little
nod of the head that had served him so well in his thirty plus years of
"It was my second attempt" Daisy replied
Guy was about to begin to say something but was cut short by Daisy
"You see the thing is Prof Block, I was talking to Amy and she said
that she had struggled with this essay to and that after a special tutorial
with you she had managed to get you to look at it again in a different
light and that you, well, you saw your way clear to revising your original
"I did?" Said Guy wracking his brains.
"Oh yes" replied Daisy conspiratorially.
Guy twitched his head back a couple of times as he took in the full effect
of what was being said. Amy? Amy? His brain began to search through its
Amy Bennett, yes, tall girl from Bradford,
large erm, well yes. Very flighty. Wonderful smirk, and much more besides.
Yes we did see things in a different light rather, Guy thought, a slight
happy twitch played out on his lips at the memory.
Maybe the afternoon wasnt going to be as dull as he expected.
He looked again at Daisy Pythian quizzically.
She smiled her breathy little smile once more to reveal perfect white
teeth. Her eyes wrinkled in knowing suggestion as the sunlight glinted
from her frames and she began to part the curtain of sleek glossy hair
from her face. Slowly she placed her hand in her jeans pocket and lifted
out an elastic band and with a liquid movement brought her arms up over
her head, thrusting her perfect chest further into the equation as she
swept her hair up and placed it under the control of the constricting
band. All the while through this act, her eyes never left Guy Block.
The shy had suddenly turned to the sultry.
"Well if you erm think itll help" Guy said mischievously
"Oh I do!" said Daisy wide eyed and mock innocence
"Righto" said Guy and he made his way from around the desk.
"So let me get it straight, Prof Block" she said stopping him
as he was approaching her, "You would change my mark, let me pass
the essay, for sexual favours?"
"Well" Guy snorted "If you want to put it bluntly dear
girl, dear, dear Daisy, yes. But I rather think favour is too strong a
word, Im sure well both get something out of it"
"Thank you" Daisy said with a big grin as she placed her hands
back into her large bag.
Guy began to giggle a little hopeful but a little unsure too.
And Daisy produced a tape recorder from her bag.
A moment ago he was beside himself, now he had really fell behind.
"Ah" said Guy and all the joy from his face fell. He had well
and truly stumbled."Ah" said Daisy and all the joy from her
face swelled. "I wonder what the VC would say if she knew about this.
A senior lecturer, whom I might add is old enough to be my granddad
"I say, steady on!"
Will freely pass students providing they have sexual relations
with him. I think she would be very interested indeed, dont you?"
She would, the dry fat old dyke.
Daisy stood up and walked towards Guy, "of course, we dont
have to trouble the VC with this you know?"
Guys mouth made the perfect O and Daisy brought one
little finger up to his chin clamping it shut.
"We dont?" said Guy in a little dry voice
"No of course not, just erm
pass my essay please" she advised,
her eyes twinkling as she placed her hands behind her back and swayed
a little from foot to foot in triumph.
Resigned, Guy leaned forward over his desk and bringing a red pen from
his tweed jacket pocket wrote out the word Pass in shaky capitals.
He handed her work back to her and asked the wily Daisy; "Youd
stoop to blackmail to get a result?"
"Par for the course" she giggled
Guy pursed his lips; "Youll go far"
"Thank you Prof Block" and she stepped sprightly from his office
out into the sunny spring afternoon.
Not for the first time in his life, Guy Block wondered if Mick Jagger
ever had such problems.
Another live flaw show in the life of Guy Block.
Cunliffe May 2007
Fiction in Dreamscapes
As Guy Block walked briskly across the windswept concrete square
that was optimistically called a piazza at an incredibly
early hour of the day he knew that what lay ahead for him did not bode
Block: Guy Block gets some libido therapy
was a crisp January morning at Trenton University.
All was normal
Guy Block knew it was going to be a bad night out.
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