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The International Writers Magazine
Reverend Father Antonio Hernández, O.M.D., A.B.F.
Founder of the Independent Order of American Buddhist Fathers


When I was a boy, my grandmother used to tell me stories about the various eccentrics and nuisances in her home town. There were liars, jokesters, wiseacres and schizophrenics aplenty. A fellow she knew claimed that the assassination of Pancho Villa had been his doing: a faked scenario, with Villa safely escaping to the Colorado Rockies. My grandmother called this fellow a yarn-spinner.

Today we have a new insulting term: CONSPIRACY THEORIST, sometimes called a conspiracy nut.

The term is misapplied if it is meant to refer to a crackpot liar. We know it's fact that conspiracies abound; it is only a matter of who finally breaks the story, and in what fashion.
The revelation of truth begins with theories. Dr. Joseph Bell, the real-life Sherlock Holmes and a teacher of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's, once told his students that "the crackpots of today are the geniuses of tomorrow."

In Medieval times, the conspiracy theorists were called "heretics" [vid. my other article]. It was easy to deal with them, in those Dark Days: they were burned at the stake. All they had really done was to tell the truth about the Church_ and they burned, right next to their equally innocent Jewish brethren.

A conspiracy in general is a secret project, designed to deceive or mislead, and much worse. It's that simple. A good theory, as Albert Einstein once told us, is an explanation that has been pieced together from painstakingly gathered evidence. Einstein said no good theory can spring from a mere opinion or event, because a good theory must explain as much as possible. Is it odd that everybody has an idea based on much experience [THEORY] that we are being constantly lied to [CONSPIRACY]?

Morons who want crop circles to be an extraterrestrial message, ignoring the two British boneheads who originally invented crop circles, are just plain stupid. A conspiracy theorist, on the other hand, might take it upon himself to dig deeply into the real reasons why these two birdbrains made crop circles at all. Maybe a blind alley, maybe not. At least it's proper investigating... and would be considered genuine conspiracy theory. (The best theory I've heard is that the crop circles were meant to improve tourism in England. Am I wrong, Mr. Editor?) (Yes- Crop Circles were created to make us beleive aliens exist - Ed)

Conspiracy theory at its most popular is expressed in one sentence: the governments of the world are hiding what they know about UFOs. This is obviously true; a UFO, which can be anything from a drunken pilot to a swarm of bioluminescent bugs to a meteorite, is usually aircraft of some kind. Why would the military of any country want to go blabbing about test flights, which account for most UFOs? For that matter, why would they want to tell us about their newest genetically engineered killer bioluminescent bugs?

A scientist or investigator is biased (and probably hiding something) when he or she dismisses the term "conspiracy theory". It would be nice if I had $978 for every time I've heard a scientist say "conspiracy theory" in the same breath as "excrement". Conspiracy theory is a founding pillar of democracy!
The most troubling thing (to me) is the misuse of terms. "Conspiracy theory" applied to crackpot notions reminds me of the misapplication of the term "beg the question". To beg a question is to argue something from mere assertion, and assume it is a fact. It does not mean that a situation 'begs a question'. That is not only bad grammar, it's sheer stupidity. An all too commonly shared stupidity. Am I a conspiracy theorist yet?

A man is gabbing before Congress here in America; he is 'the biggest conspiracy theorist' of the moment. He's the fellow accusing Bush and Bush Administration INC. of fouling up the war on terror. It has been easy to dismiss this man, who worked closely with Bush the Usurper until recently. All we have to do is call him a CONSPIRACY THEORIST.
Now, what will we call Richard Clarke when he's proved right?
© Rev Antonio Hernandez April 2004

Read the Rev's book on Tourettes and Autism


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