Tabytha Towe on the trials of life and making all the right moves
So you want
me to write about climbing that mountain of expectations and intentions
for achievement in life? Wow! I don't know about this. I mean,
I have different ones everyday and they range simply from either
refraining from partying one night and doing something constructive
or perhaps even planning my ideal future career and husband in
a little place called La-La Land.
However, I do have
standards for myself; they're hardly practical, the way I'm going about
trying to accomplish them, that and the other thing. Quite frankly I'm
being honest here ,but obviously not too serious.
As far as I can picture (and trust me I have a pretty wild imagination)
right now all I plan to do and want to do within the next two - give
or take - three years is work a few jobs here and there that aren't
necessarily anything fancy. I hope to save up enough to be able to take
a few more courses, then travel for awhile, and between times dating
a cute musician somewhere wouldn't hurt I suppose.
I plan to register next semester for a variety courses such as psychology.
Learning to manipulate someone's intellect or what have you rather appeals
to me. Id like to take human relations, (which I figure will compliment
my manipulation skills), journalism, (so I can learn how to write without
using run on sentences and tourism, (definitely beneficial since I plan
to travel). Last, but not least, a bartending course, because there
is money in the liquor business and I can work in any country as long
as I'm a qualified bartender. (I just have to wait untill I'm of legal
age!) Oh yes,and of course I still would like to continue with some
acting lessons throughout. This is wishful thinking. It's my therapy
in a way. You see, I'm in this situation where I can't really do anything
big nor special yet, I am not only 18 years old, but underpaid, therefore
I am broke. I cannot even afford to go to school, let alone pay the
fucking gas money every week, and hence,I'm also not properly certified
enough to even think about a serious long term career until I have all
these courses under my belt,. That won't happen till I have more money,
and that won't happen until I have a greater job, but that won't happen
either unless I go to school!! It's a never ending hopeless cycle that
keeps going around and it doesn't seem to turn up anywhere anywise.
Its tough being a Canadian, suburban-wasted youth, I tell ya!
I have actually put a few plans into action. I just signed up for two
courses next semester,"psychology" and "conflict/resolution".
I'm really excited about going back to school for once. I've also got
my foot in the door to a modelling agency ,which may turn into something
pretty promising. Still waiting on word, although my chances are considerably
high. Apparently I have a unique look.
As for financial stability right now I'm coping quite smoothly, perhaps
because I haven't gone out partying every night for the past,
oh, week!? I've also complained enough to my managers to get a couple
more shifts on my plate. It's a little bit of an 'iffy' situation, seeing
as the one manager in charge of making the schedules isn't too fond
of me (for some odd reason.)
However,the head manager absolutely adores me and so it works out in
my favour in the long run. He insists that I get more hours as well.
I believe I will stay working at the restaurant for many a more seasons.
Still loving work, must be a good thing.
Ahh yes,it's ironic how earlier I mentioned in my much desired list
of things I hope to do,that I wouldn't mind having a cute musician somewhere
along the lines... So it seems that those lines are somewhere right
in front of my face - right now! The "date a cute musician"
quote was only supposed to be a figure of speech humouring myself. How
very typical indeed,that the moment I'm not looking for anyone someone
just pops up out of nowhere and decides to catch my eye. I have decided
that this guy is my new eye candy,I could stare at him all day and he
sill looks sweet. My late object for eye candy was actually chocolate,
but I cannot avoid looking at this current appealing creature.
OOOh this is completely against all my being-single-for-a-while- and
I-don't-need-any-more-men-in-my-life-rules and the whole bit, but I
think I'd be able to compromise with my rules with this one. One of
my greater characteristics: I'm flexible, one of my lesser characteristics:
I'm too flexible for my own good. Such a contradictatory predicament
that I once again manage to put myself into, just to shake things up
a little of course.
Speaking of shaking things up, I agreed to meet with an ex-boyfriend
today. Where does my brain wonder to sometimes I just don't know? Flexibility
is a bitch!
So you Hackreaders out there of what you would like to hear about next
from me in Vancouver : political views? sexual controversy? The world
as we know it? Anything goes.
PS If you read me, write to me let me know what you think...
More from Tab's Diaries here