International Writers Magazine:Reality
Check + Readers Letters
Bye, Miss American Pie
Barack Obama Buries The Boomers
is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past.
Our time to bring new energy and new ideas to the challenges we
face. Our time to offer a new direction for this country that we
- Senator Barack
Obama, on the occasion of becoming the Democratic Party's presumptive
nominee for President of the United States -- St. Paul, Minnesota
June 3, 2008
am not a woman or a black man. I am not liberal or conservative, and
I do not vote or call myself Democrat or Republican. I am not, despite
years of penning this god-awful dreck, particularly enamored with politics
-- at least not in any meaningful way. Fittingly, for the purposes of
this piece, I am definitely not a Baby Boomer. I was born in late 1962,
and I don't care what sociologists say, if you were not feasibly able
to spark a joint at Woodstock in the summer of '69, then you are not
a Boomer. I was pushing seven, less than ten miles from Yasguar's Farm
in the Catskill Mountains barely staving off stomach rot with the other
unfortunates who were vacationing in an emerging disaster area. Our
water supply had been fouled by overflowing wells contaminated by the
collective defecation of a chemical-addled horde. Nope, I am no Boomer,
and neither is Barack Obama. No sense asking him what he was doing during
Nam, most likely flipping baseball cards or maybe puking up tainted
water like me.
In fact, all the weird shit that passes for campaign bating these days
doesn't work with Obama. He has no particular beef or on any vengeance
trip, no tedious defense of failed revolutions or standing firm against
The Man. Nobody knows who this guy is really. But we do know he doesn't
have the Us Against Them baggage of the last two presidents; Boomer's
June 3, 2008, at around 9:01 in the pm, eastern time; a seminal moment
in American history: Sure, an African American achieves the title of
presumptive nominee for a major political party, but what is most telling
is he happens to be from my generation -- the forgotten generation.
Somewhere jammed between the Hippies and the Gen Xer's, the proud, the
cynical, the overfed and over-stimulated; we now have ourselves a candidate.
He ain't old world and he ain't counterculture; he is new, as
in brand-spanking, jack.
The man is right; it is our time.
Shit, Obama may turn out to be a brilliant leader or another scrap paper
fraud, squeak out the most unlikely of victories or be crushed like
all the other lefty northerners before him, but he's our swinging dick,
and we dig him plenty for it.
And it's about goddamn time. You know how long I've endured this parade
of mediocre rich white guy /country bumpkins and their miserable children?
Do you realize how many misogynistic, paranoid B-Movie actor jack-offs
have captained this ship?
The Boomers had their shot too, and let's face it, the uprising of the
sixties counterculture plummeting into a wretched yuppie gorge, then
festering into the sappily nostalgic, and finally careening into a damaged
political power play has gone denouement. The tally is in: It was an
abject failure; ceremoniously imploded into crystal nothingness by the
violence at Altamont, the frenzied con of the Manson Family, through
Kent State, into the Age of Nixon, and all the way to the graveyards
of Wall Street.
Thanks for the music and the drugs; now please burn out and fade away.
Hillary Clinton's doomed campaign of whining low blow militants is a
requiem for the Boomers. There she was the night Obama turned a very
heavy page talking about "deciding what to do next", as if
anyone is interested in what the loser's next move might be. Perhaps
she'll have her eggs sunny-side up or learn to marathon or finally divorce
the troglodyte she's been carrying for decades.
It was a long, strange trip from the Inevitable Candidate, "This
will be over by February fifth" to twisted RFK assassination references
in order to hang around long enough for another mutant to emerge from
Archie Bunker's psyche to destroy the New Wave. Yeah, the only problem
with that equation is that Hillary is Archie Bunker now; an anachronistic
voice wistfully harkening the "good old days" in a vein attempt
to escape irrelevance.
By week's end the Clintons will have officially had the last shovel
of dirt dumped on their botched attempt at being the alternative to
the Reagan Myth, which helped usher in the laughably pathetic George
W. Bush and his "compassionate conservative" hoax that effectively
exposed the whole ruse as the century's last cruel joke.
Ultimately, America has Big Bill to thank for Captain Shoo-In, another
dullard from the Age of Aquarius. Clinton's legacy, aside from his spastic
libido, will be the choke-campaign of his vice president and his spouse
blowing a 20-point national poll lead with an over $50 million coffer
to a guy no one outside of the south side of Chi-town had heard of 14
Baby Bush's claim to fame beside war, jingoistic fear-mongering and
constitutional mockery, will be that he completely snuffed out the wounded
remnants of the Reagan Revolution, which had barely survived on the
fumes of the first two pathetically ineffectual years of The Big Bill
Follies (followed soon after by the scandalized lame-duck years); proving
once and for all that a granola-head conman who plays a mediocre sax
and a faux cowboy drunkard with a gizzard full of silver spoon is no
way to lead a country.
Two failed Baby Boomer presidents: The final influence of the gory sixties
afterbirth pilfering an already bastardized system with a stale angst
better left to the rigors of ancient history.
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.
We'll forgive Bush and the Clintons for their gaudy machinations and
ill-conceived governing, coming as it has from a generation of spoiled,
self-important, media whoring brats masquerading as revolutionaries;
the last rancid fumes of the post-war fist-pumping, tie-dyed rip-off
conjured from Madison Avenue to Pennsylvania Avenue, which lorded over
the brutal raping of genuine social, cultural, political and philosophical
freedom rides from Berkeley to Selma to Greenwich Village.
In the end, the Boomers gave us presidents from both sides of the ideological
fence, and they both came up snake eyes. The main issues facing the
Clinton and Bush administrations were national health care and social
security reform respectively and neither was brought to a vote. We might
have even noticed, if not for a plethora of sex jokes and the pulpit
grunts, piss fights and money-pit wars, and one disastrous day in the
late summer of 2001.
Well, for the Democrats at least, the new generation has spoken: No
more Us vs. Them or Burn Baby Burn or police bating, campus-riot, self-flagellating
guilt-revolution chic. This is how real revolutions go: Hope. Change.
The Clintons hung on as long as they could, lying, cheating, changing
the rules, and blaming the media. But they are dust, unless Obama has
a brain hemorrhage and puts them on the ticket.
Otherwise, John McCain, this is your generation's problem now.
© James Campion 2008
McClellan wants to go to heaven now. He thinks writing a book confessing
his sins will get him there. Some may have forgiven him for it, but
God is not likely to be counted among them.
REALITY CHECK - READERS RESPONSES
You couldn't have been more on the ball here. (KEYSTONE KOP-OUT -- Issue:
4/30/08) There is a growing concern among Democrats that Obama is damaged
goods now, thanks to the Clinton Smear Machine. That, and also, as you
so succinctly (for a change) pointed out; a dismal showing among key
demographics in the old-world party platform. Although, again (as you
say) there are winds of change with the "youth vote" and a
massive African American showing in these primaries and caucuses, can
Obama beat McCain, a fairly moderate Republican, nationally by tanking
these people? Seems as though his camp has abandoned trying to reach
the less affluent and less educated white base, who have rushed out
to clutch at Mrs. Clinton's hem for protection and pandering populace
rhetoric, not to mention the women, who will likely listen to the Clinton
bilge about being "ripped off" or rejected by media or party
officials, and abandon the cause, slipping into office another flawed
This will be the death knell of Obama and the country's overwhelming
call for change eventually, not that he is young, inexperienced, black,
liberal, or has a funny name.
Bam may be doomed
to fail, because of his Muslim name, liberal stance, religion and fears
of a black planet. However, many folks may be subconsciously voting
for a divided government. Every time one party gets both the Congress
and the White House we get socked with out of control spending and dumb-ass
quick-fix programs like "No Child Left Behind." It happened
in the first two years of Bubba, and the Republican majority under Bush
rubber stamped every friggin' crackpot idea he came up with, exploding
the budget to levels never seen EVER.
Many middle of the road voters could see Mac as a one term transition
guy who is middle of the road just like them, someone who could work
well with a Democratic Congress in an effective bipartisan way. It would
be up to Barack (or Hillary) to convince the American people that they,
and only they, can save the USA from slipping into a depression while
portraying McCain as a tired old man out of touch and bent on continuing
a never ending war.
I have to admit...for the first few minutes I wanted to believe in Barack.
Here was a young guy with what at first seemed like new, young ideas
but at the end of it all he became just another pol willing to say or
do whatever was necessary to win and right there he was the latest invocation
of the last verse to The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again".
It's a shame, but you are spot-on correct about the political class
"Black Hole". It's dark, deadly and unforgiving.
Dour, angry, pessimistic, and doomstruck.
Oh, and did I mention rational?
I have read similar scenarios about Hillary making nice in other places.
(LET'S MAKE A DEAL -- issue: 5/14/08) But I see your sources though
come with anecdotal asides, which always adds to the continued and appreciated
Gonzo beauty of this column. I especially love the intern's desperate
plea; "What are we doing here?" and then your response: "No
one, it turned out, had a serviceable answer." But I must respectably
disagree with how this will come out.
Hillary shows no signs of slowing down. I see her as squeezing these
people dry until she either gets on the ticket or destroys Obama and
the party completely, or suspends the campaign to get her cash and horde
her delegates all the way to the August convention for a nasty power
play. Her irrational and sometimes narcissistic lunacy thus far has
spoken to this end; not the kind of sober, resigned type of negotiating
you depict in your column.
I think your point though about the Clintons hanging onto the last vestiges
of party power is correct. This is what is left now, her trying to save
her husband's damaged legacy and put herself into a position to log-jam
congress in the event that Obama wins the presidency and does not adopt
her socialist health care initiatives, which will doubtless bankrupt
the system and destroy our free enterprise society.
How many times must she fail and all of us have to pay for it?
I ask you!!!!!!!!
One of your funniest
columns to date.
"The truth emerged twelve hours later. The Machine
had officially gone belly up, and reports by late afternoon the next
day had the candidate personally in the hole for over $11 million."
Although, I won't believe any of it till I see it. If
the bitch concedes this week, I will do an Irish jig in the middle of
Taksim Square here in Istanbul ... the busiest part of the city.
"All of her public office earnings spent on a random
fling across key national election swing states downing whiskey shots,
toting rifles, fitting for hardhats and telling the national press she
was going to 'obliterate Iran'".
This is just funny.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
You're writing has been very insightful of late and equally
funny. Keep up the good work.
This is an abomination! What is with you media assholes trying to kick
Hillary to the curb? You are so far up Obama's ass you cannot see that
this is a contest of votes and ideas and principles being battled out
within the party, not for your amusement or speculation, but for the
future of this country: a country that would be better off with Hillary
Clinton than an old war freak like John McCain or a weak, elitist suck-up
like Barack Obama.
I am so sick of all this "Won't she see the light?" crap!
You wouldn't be seeing the light if you had the popular vote and won
every swing state by double-digits, and have the last name of the only
Democratic president to be re-elected since FDR.
This might be Hillary's last shot, and she does not have to be demure
or magnanimous or "play fair" for you or anyone else who thinks
she is evil or conniving or whatever, something you forgive men time
and again for, but heap derision upon a woman candidate, because you,
and not Bill Clinton, are the misogynist! And you can't see that either,
because of your self-righteous, name-calling and goofing around.
This is a person's life at stake here, her life, and the future of the
United States, not some half-assed corporate back-room deal.
Fight on, Hillary! If for nothing else, but to prove people like
you as the fools you truly are.
I think you have been too accommodating to Hillary Clinton. She is the
dark lord of resident evil and everything sick and wrong and pathetic
about national politics. She not only deserves to lose, but in doing
so, become the laughing stock of all.
I am sorry you don't see this as an imperative, but merely as a sign
that we are in "business as usual" territory again.
The Bastard Son
all rights reserved - all comments are the writers' own responsibility
- no liability accepted by hackwriters.com or affiliates.