Lifestyles and Comment
TO BEAT YOUR WIFE IN TEN EASY LESSONS
true! No kidding. Theres a sort of Ayatollah living in Fuengirola,
Spain called Mohamed Kamal Mostafá who has just been charged
and sentenced to jail for writing a book that has a chapter in it
that incites husbands to beat their wives. The book is some sort
of a guide for Muslim women and their role in the Islamic world.
In this particular chapter he describes several methods that should
be used by husbands when beating their wives so that no serious
believe it! I didnt know whether to laugh or cry. No, not because
of the seriousness of the issue, but because I could not conceive how
someone could be so stupid as to write on such a delicate subject that
is hot stuff in Europe today. I refer to the rising problem of domestic
violence, or whatever other names it comes under in present day European
I remember when I first came to Galicia as a young bachelor; a local
friend said to me, if you see a man in the street hitting his
wife with his umbrella, never go to her rescue. Why,
I asked. Because they will both stop fighting and turn on you!
It might sound strange in todays environment but a few decades
ago, smacking your spouse now and then was part of the bliss of being
married. But then, one thing is a smack on the kisser if the women deserved
it, and another is darn outright brutal violence. Not that I am a violent
man myself. On the contrary I abhor it very strongly. Yet I do recognise
that tempers, on both sides might I add, tend to rise on certain occasions
during matrimonial bliss and the odd punch up take place within the
walls of the ´den of love´. Most of them ended in kiss
and make up, till the next round.
However, statistics abound that show that violent crimes are being committed
throughout Europe, particular by male partners against women who either
live or are married to the aggressor. In the majority of cases the actual
violent act is carried out under the influence of drugs or alcohol and
although, as I pointed out earlier the odd punch up was fairly common
in the past, todays numbers are not only on the increase but are
far more brutal. Many result in darn outright first-degree murder! Apart
from the blood and gore, some are even bizarre.
A few months back, in the south of Spain, an old foggy in his late seventies,
murdered his wife and gave himself up to the police, after fifty years
of marriage because he could not bare to see her suffer. She was bedridden
and suffering very severely from Alzheimers disease. It is certainly
a sad and possible heartbreaking human tragedy that has probably occurred
elsewhere in the world. The difference in this case is that Grandad
had trouble in trying to chop up his wife into little pieces and put
her into supermarket plastic bags!
cases are those involving what appear to be fairly normal couples
that have been married for several years and may have one or two
children. The husband comes back one evening from wherever and his
wife tells him, out of the blue, that she wants a divorce. Shes
found someone else. The husband picks up the nearest object he can
find and smashes her head in. Or you may have the perpetual drunk
that arrives late after watching the local soccer match, boozed
to his eyeballs and demands his dinner. Its two in the morning
and his wife is in bed sleeping. All hell breaks lose.
saddest ones however are your genuine family argument that turns really
nasty. Probably during days gone by they would end up with a short and
sharp punch-up. Chances are that today, the husband would find a large
kitchen knife and stab his partner to death and then regret it. Next
step is hed jump off the balcony of the family apartment and commit
suicide. Little two-year-old Johnny sleeping in the bedroom would never
know what had happened!
And so we could go on with case after case of brutality by man against
woman. The vast majority are perpetual beaters and if the woman has
had the guts to report the offender, chances are the bastard will be
tagged like a Rotweiller and told to keep a few kilometres away or else.
Trouble is that most women put up with it and therefore what appears
in the statistics, read also local press, is most probably a very small
percentage of this tragic domestic violence.
But why has it turned violent anyway? Why has man suddenly turned into
the prehistoric beast of thousands of years ago? Funnily enough analysing
our predecessors could be the answer.
Some psychologists argue that modern day consumerism is partly to blame.
Others point fingers at womens lib and their perpetual fight for
equal rights with men, specially in the workplace. There are a few that
even go as far as suggesting that because of todays violent atmosphere
most men cannot control their instincts and release their energy on
the weakest and closest beings. This latter hypothesis could also account
for child bashing which is a related crime and is also on the increase.
I have my own theory and it is probably a combination of all the above
put into a pot and stirred like a witches cauldron. Except that Ive
added a few peppers to hot up the brew!
The ape-man of years gone by would go out and hunt whilst his mate
would stay in the cave mucking about and looking after the offspring.
When daddy arrived back he would throw the catch-of-the-day
at mum and say Ugh, which meant cook or do something with
it. Later on, after fasting he would chase his partner and rape her.
And so procreation fostered and life progressed. But one important foundation
had been laid and that was, like it or not, the family unit. Up until
a few decades ago, nothing had really changed. That is, until contraception
was invented. Stopping sperm from doing its naughty act of producing
babies followed by worldwide abortion laws allowing the female to rid
itself of the unnecessary burden, the concept of a family has
I therefore add another vital ingredient which is the actual lifestyle
of todays generations. Lets face it, they enjoy life to
their hearts content. They booze at all hours of the day or night and
finally fornicate with the first opposite number they can find. How
can you expect them to sink the pillars for the foundations of a stable
relationship till death do us part if theyve had it
too good before their thirty? Hence, if they do join up, and little
Johnny appears on the scene, it wont take long before mummy gets tired
of nappies and dummies and wants to get back to the office, leaving
daddy to long wailing sleepless nights that drive him mad. End result
is separation, but not always peaceful. Sure, not all couples end up
this way, but I bet you a bottom dollar that todays savour faire
lifestyle is greatly to blame for ending up in brutal domestic violence.
Take a look and judge for yourselves dear readers. All you have to do
is take a walk around swinging Spain, but dont beat your wife
if shes out there having a good time!
© James Skinner. 2003 December 2003
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