
SITTING PRETTY
David Rutherford
'76 was a great
year.
I went to America for the first time; a country that captivates me as
much now, as it did then. It was a record-breaking summer in the UK
which led to a drought and water rationing. I remember the front pages
of the newspapers carried small boxes containing the days since last
rain fell. '76 was also the first year I became aware of girls, courtesy
of Miss Richardson my form teacher, her bikini and a summer term spent
by the school pool basking in the sun of that golden summer. Of course
my interest in Miss Richardson was totally innocent and unknown to her,
being only nine I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling but that was
the summer I realised that when I got older I wanted to have a Miss
Richardson of my own.
It was returning back to school after that summer that I started to
run a bit slower whilst being pursued by the kiss-chasers at lunchtime.
It was my secret; I don't think any of the others in my gang wanted
to be caught by the girls. If I recall I don't think many of the girls
actually wanted to catch us anyway, this was confirmed one lunch, when
I was 'caught' and offering little resistance confronted by the horrified
cries of "ugh, he wants to be kissed". It was an uncomfortable
moment for everyone and lasted for what seemed an eternity until one
of the chasers pecked my cheek (thank you Katie) thereby releasing the
whole bunch to swiftly run off as fast as they could looking for prey
that would provide a sterner challenge.
It's funny what memories the mind chooses to bring forth at times. Implanting
the past to block out the present. Why these memories should come to
me whilst Arabella was writhing naked on my lap I am uncertain, no doubt
discovering she was a qualified primary school teacher had something
to do with it. I hadn't remembered Miss Richardson for years, yet she
had obviously been locked somewhere deep inside my mind , now released
by Arabella, some 22 years later! The power of the mind never ceases
to amaze, not only did Miss Richardson reappear in my mind, she came
complete with her two piece yellow bikini and the smell of chlorine.
Actually Arabella is part of a growing phenomenon, a qualified teacher,
who has turned her back on teaching. Educated, articulate, confident
and personable, she has rejected what she has learned and the skills
she has been taught in favour of what she inherited - her looks. Perhaps
I am wrong when I say she has rejected what she has learned along with
the skills she has acquired, rather she has chosen to put them to another
use. Arabella is a dancer, a dancer for money, clearing anywhere between
2-5k a week. In a good month she can make the annual salary of her former
occupation. Arabella is not some hapless woman fallen on hard times,
devoid of options, somehow lured into table-dancing - undoubtedly some
are, but not her, nor many others like her. No she is one of many 'career'
women who are quite literally capitalizing on a growing trend. She is
an Australian taking advantage of the temporary work visa system that
exists between the UK and Australia, who has chosen to dance rather
than collect minimum wage for bar work or waiting tables or even dare
I say it work in a primary school. She has even planned the next leg
of her trip and signed up for a two-month stint at a similar club in
New York. Where she will no doubt entertain the workers of Wall Street
as royally as she has catered for the bonus boys from London's Square
mile.
With prudent planning she will be sitting pretty(no pun intended) when
she eventually returns down under. With the current exchange rate at
over AUS$2 to the pound, she could easily end up with $100,000.00 dollars
for her endeavors, maybe double that. Not bad for a primary school teacher,
four years qualified! Frankly if a similar opportunity had been available
during my gap-year, I would have been very tempted. For the price of
getting naked - no more, she will be truly independent and able to follow
whatever path she chooses.
Quite by chance whilst driving over Easter I happened on one of the
many phone-in programmes that are so popular on radio these days. The
topic as synchronicity would have it was "Table-dancing - a good
or a bad thing"? The general consensus which undoubtedly has changed
over recent years was that it wasn't quite the evil it has been portrayed
to be, especially given the rewards on offer (no doubt largely untaxed
I suspect). Most of the woman callers were surprisingly quite gung-ho
about it, as one woman put it most succinctly " I don't think its
really that seedy, especially when it's a reputable club and the girls
are well protected - good luck to them. If you want to look for abused
women, try the women working from home stuffing envelopes for a £1.00
an hour". Quite!
Table dancing seems to have become very corporate, which has in effect
forced the industry to clean up its act and even dare one say, gain
a degree of legitimacy. I was staggered to read in 'The Observer' on
Sunday February 11 2001 the following. "Although table dancing
has become fashionable in recent months, with top clubs reporting a
huge rise in the number of women punters, the industry's core clientele
remains the business community during the week and stag parties at weekends.
One night last Christmas, a London club, Venus, cashed in £18,000
worth of dance vouchers handed out by grateful companies to their employees".
The club I visited last week seemed to confirm the details of that report.
I was surprised at the number of female patrons, who were happily enjoying
champagne/dinner with colleagues and quite happy to have the girls dance
just for them, quite apart from the women there exclusively for the
girls themselves. I've only been table-dancing three or four times over
the years, all as part of the stag night ritual, but even I can see
the transformation that has occurred from the very dark and quite seedy
rooms to the now bright and colourful almost brassiere type establishment
that now exists. The whole market is now pitching itself at the well
heeled and expense account-wielding fraternity. Apparently Birmingham
will soon have a club capable of hosting 10,000 people a night. A venue
of that size would suggest that table dancing is rapidly approaching
a mainstream activity. Any professional Rugby club treasurer would be
in seventh heaven if he could draw a similar crowd on any given weekend!
I once wrote that the average girl had nothing to fear from such establishments,
however I now wonder if they won't in fact become the next great meeting
place, with their heady concoction of beautiful women and well to do
patrons. The truth is had I met Arabella in a pub or at a party I would
have asked to see her again, she of course may have a differing view.
Of course she was attractive but it was her other qualities, the ones
that would have made her a great teacher that I was drawn to, her intellect,
her wit, her compassion, her confidence and her ability to communicate
that linger as long in the mind. In many ways clubs such as these empathise
the great role reversal going on in wider society. Without a doubt it
was an exciting experience, but the excitement wasn't merely seeing
Arabella dance. It was entwined with meeting an educated, articulate,
traveled and confident person, all attributes woman have traditionally
sought in men, but attributes that men are now seeking in women. More
than that she controlled the experience, she had the power, had it been
a tango club I am certain she would have attempted to lead off. Society
and particularly women who have broken through the glass barrier,like
to paint these establishments as tawdry, but go to any number of West
End shows and you'll more than likely to find a similar offering feted
by society. Nicole Kidman, Jerry Hall, Kathleen Turner and others have
revealed all in the name of art and are embraced by upper society. Dress
it anyway you please but we all know the reason why the 'Blue Room'
was the hottest ticket in town.
Irrespective of the route travelled perhaps both the women who have
pursed 'mainstream' careers and those who have chosen to dance, both
are seeking the same end goal, financial independence, self-reliance
and ultimately the empowerment to dictate how they chose to live their
lives. In many ways history may come to view the greatest achievement
of the last century as the emancipation of women - well certainly those
in the West. As we close in on the endgame of the women's lib' movement,
we have witnessed the progression from the suffragette women to a woman
holding the Office of Prime Minister. Perhaps it's ironic therefore
that the movement which was once self-defined through the act bra burning,
now finds a woman simply needs to remove her bra to get ahead.
© DR 2001