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What it is really like to be an Au pair • Erika Gamba Finding a family in America

In life, we sometimes must step out of our comfort zone and make choices that change everything, even if we do not know exactly where they will lead. For me, one of those choices was getting on a plane and beginning a completely new journey.

Being an au pair was one of the best experiences I have ever had in my life. It allowed me to live, feel, and experience emotions I could have never imagined. However, to fully understand what being an au pair means, I need to start from the beginning.

Au pairs are young adults between the ages of 18 and 26 who decide to travel to a foreign country to care for children, explore, and fully immerse themselves in a new culture. The experience can last from one to two years, depending on the agreement between the au pair and the host family.

So how do you end up on the other side of the world, living with a family you have never met before? Becoming an au pair usually follows a general process that changes depending on the agency. For example, with Cultural Care Au Pair, it can take around three months up until you find the right family for you. There are many agencies available, such as AuPairinAmerica, InterExchange, and Go Au Pair, and each one offers slightlydifferent features, locations, or levels of support. I personally chose Cultural Care because I knew several girls who had used it and had positive experiences.

The agency helps you with everything, from your visa documents to all the information you need. There are some basic requirements: a secondary school diploma, conversational English skills, at least 200 hours of childcare experience, and a driver’s license. You also must attend an interview with the agency, where they test your English and learn more about your experience with children. Then, you pay the agency fee, which is around 1.800 euros ($2,000), depending on your country. The price covers 24/7 support, training school, flights, health insurance, and the connection with the family. Some other costs to consider include the visa fee, medical check-up, and international driver’s license. (Cultural Care Au Pair)

Once all the bureaucratic steps are completed, the fun part begins. Everything starts to feel real when you create your application profile. This part is essential, because it is your personal calling card, your chance to show potential host families who you are. Everyone says the first impression is crucial, and it is the same for families looking for their perfect match.

I still clearly remember when I created my profile at the end of 2022. I made sure to record a nice video introducing myself, my family, and my dog. I talked about my hobbies, my dreams, and why I wanted to begin this experience. I shared my lifelong dream of traveling the world, especially America, and how excited I was. I explained my experience taking care of Leonardo, a three-year-old boy I had looked after since I was 17, along with my other work experiences. Once I completed my profile, I was beyond excited. It is difficult to describe the feeling; you need to wait for a family to reach out and show interest. Everything feels so surreal and abstract because you have no idea what is going to happen, where you will go, or who you will live with for the next year. But you do know that you have chosen to take a risk.

I still remember my first video calls with different host families. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. My biggest insecurity was my English; I was afraid I would not be able to fully express myself. That language barrier felt like an obstacle, especially because I deeply wanted to connect with people and share who I really was. I remember one family from New Hampshire with four boys. They all seemed sweet and kind, but something was missing for me. I have always dreamed of living somewhere warm by the ocean, so I decided to wait. I told myself I deserved to find a family that offered a balance between my schedule, the location, and good people. These three elements are essential because if even one is missing, you risk not enjoying the experience to its fullest.

Finally, the day after my birthday, I received a notification from a family in Charleston, South Carolina, that seemed perfect. They had five kids: four teenagers and a sweet seven-year-old girl named Marcella. The parents loved Italy and seemed kind and open. After a few video calls discussing expectations and schedules, an essential part of the match, I felt a deep sense of connection. I got the official match request and accepted it. After that, everything happened fast. Packing is hard enough for a vacation, imagine for an entire year. However, the hardest part was saying goodbye to my family, which no one prepares you. That is when it hit me: I was about to be completely alone, in a country I had never visited, far from my sister, my dog, my grandma’s pasta, and my friends. I questioned if it was worth it to leave everything behind for a dream I did not even fully understand. I was just nineteen, and everything kinda felt bigger than me.

Landing in Charleston felt like stepping into a movie. The air was heavy and humid, the palm trees winged, and everything felt unfamiliar. My host family welcomed me with a welcome sign and warm smiles. I was excited but overwhelmed. That first week was the hardest. I missed my family, I did not understand jokes, and I felt small in this big new world. But deep down, I knew I could do it. My host family was patient and supportive, and I was determined to become someone Marcella could trust and love.

It is important to be honest about the hard parts, too. Being an au pair requires strength. The cultural barrier was real and things like sarcasm, small talk, and even meal routines felt unfamiliar. For example, I was shocked by how early Americans eat dinner, and how fast-paced the daily routine was compared to life in Italy. I also found it hard to explain my emotions when I felt homesick or misunderstood, especially in my second language. I had to learn how to speak up kindly but clearly when I needed boundaries or when something felt off. Those were hard lessons, but necessary. You need to build a relationship with a child who does not know you, in a different language, and become someone she can trust. That takes patience, courage, and heart. I had those qualities at the beginning, but I needed to grow into them. And today, I would do it all over again. I have traveled across the U.S.: from New York to Los Angeles, Route 66 to Hawaii, all because I took that leap. Most importantly, I gained a second family I genuinely love.

Discovering more about this experience was fundamental for me. Blogs like AuPairInAmerica offer thousands of pieces of information about important matters, like language improvement, cultural growth, but also homesickness and adaptation challenges. Reading those blogs helped me feel understood and not alone.
My friend Lujii, from Argentina, also shared her story with me. She became an au pair when she was 18 and matched with a family in Indiana with five kids. She then moved to Charleston with them after two years and ended up becoming a student too. She says, “I think Cultural Care is great because it gives you the possibility to immerse yourself in a culture from a perspective that you could never do if it wasn’t for the program.” What she means is that by living with a host family and being so involved in their daily lives and activities, you have no choice but to learn the language, traditions, interests, and overall culture. Hearing her story helped me realize that while every journey is different, we all go through the same emotional difficulties.

Then, who should become an au pair? I would say whoever wants to have an once lifetime experience that will change your life. It is ideal for people taking a gap year after high school or those unsure of their career path who want to explore the world while gaining responsibility. Some do it during or after college, and it is even possible for those who want a break from routine to find something meaningful. If you are open-minded, independent, and love kids, this kind of adventure could be perfect.

Being an au pair gave me more than just a plane ticket and a job abroad. It taught me resilience, adaptability, and empathy. I became more independent, and my English improved in ways I never thought possible. But more importantly, I learned to trust myself, even when everything felt unfamiliar. I went from being afraid to make a phone call to managing a household, helping with daily-life challenges, and advocating for myself. Now, as I study International Business, I carry those lessons with me every day. Being an au pair was not just a chapter in my life; it was the beginning of a bigger story. I know now that wherever I go next, I will face it with the same courage I had when I first stepped off that plane.

© Erika Gamba 4.26.25
Erika is an International Business degree student at the College of Charleston

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