The International Writers Magazine: Reality Check
America The Ugly Has Spoken
even the most optimistic Democrat on Capitol Hill thinks the rabidly
vilified John Bolton wont be the next U.S. ambassador to
the United Nations. They fully comprehend, as well as the realists
among them that he represents the will of the people.
This past November
we rubber stamped the mean, war crazy jingoists, and damn it, if we
dont deserve our pit bull to crack a few heads around the United
Nations then what was the point of voting George W. Bush back into office
in the first place? It sure wasnt his stellar economic record
or a stirring command of the English language.
We have political capitol here. Didnt the memo go out? Wasnt
there a general e-mail heads up received on this? We voted. Bush
won. He won on a record of boorish and aggressively dangerous behavior,
combative and unyielding to anything resembling sober reason. This is
obviously the agenda. He is also Gods choice. What is the argument?
Lets get on with it already.
Look, no one around here gives half a shit about the latest and greatest
independent intelligence report that proves for the hundredth time that
this government went mad over flimsy evidence to wage a money pit war
on Iraq. Fuck that noise. We needed to crush the Evil Doers, or at least
the Evil Doers that peeved off the presidents daddy, and, as a
result, were more than willing to bankroll the rebuilding of it
for the next two decades no matter what. So save all your bleeding heart
analysis for the French hippie freaks. We want Bolton We want the "quintessential
kiss-up, kick-down sort of guy". He represents the American spirit;
uncompromising, self-aggrandizing, quick to judgment, and conveniently
patriotic. His ambitions are our ambitions. Three million more of us
put any doubts of this to rest on Election Day, and a couple of thousand
more Ohio residents made it law. If Captain Shoo-In wants John Bolton,
an oft-quoted anti-UN big mouth to kick the ass all over the world stage
than so be it.
You think those kids who come back in boxes every day from the Middle
East or the family members they leave behind care who we piss off after
two years of bloodshed? Grow up. This is the New World now. We dont
fiddle around with diplomacy. We have The Dick Chaney School of Batten
Down The Hatches & Hang On To The Women & Children, Here Comes
The U. S. of A. international view for ya. Its the 9/11 blank
check theory of foreign policy, and its here to stay, so deal with it.
Maybe the rest of the planet should have gotten on board when we were
scrambling around like lunatics looking for scapegoats. Then there would
be no need for outcry and long Congressional hearings that frivolously
spend our tax money on done deals.
Yeah, I know, Bolton screams and yells at secretaries and doesnt
particularly care about playing nice with other government agencies
and he may or may not have treated Colin Powell like his bitch. Its
a small price to pay to jam a first class jerk off into the malaise
of the United Nations. Give it a little spit shine and weaken its resolve
to keep us from gutting the world to protect our interests. Weve
been cow towing to these fossils for far too long. Were the muscle
and the money of that operation, so instead of sitting around making
pretty, its time to stop all the silly role playing and finally show
the rest of this poor, docile planet whos boss.
The administration and its mouthpieces like to call this
appointment and its fallout Reform. We are reforming the United Nations.
It is a
way of reminding everyone that its main headquarters resides on our
soil, a few blocks from where the towers went down and all this craziness
ensued. Reforming means no more begging to enact our will on things.
more meetings. No more dancing for our supper. We are reforming the
from ostensibly being an objective international forum to our blind
handmaidens. Its our address that bares the checks sent all over
place to combat famine and pestilence and it is our army that ousts
beret-wearing religious war mongers, so were going to make some
You know, Reform.
The mask is off. We no longer appear to peddle global compassion,
while doing whatever the hell we want. Now we come hard, without the
song and story. No more fancy pants chats or teary-eyed speeches from
phonies like Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. We have the Texas Oil Man
charge; the Shit-Kicker King. He is our hero. He is the savior of the
Western World. The British know it; now so will everyone else slow on
the take, like the Democrats, who still think they have a say in this.
Those woefully uniformed who are left out there will now finally
know what kind of bulldozer is coming to rearrange the furniture, get
acquainted with the Bull/China Shop policies we got going here. No one
will dare feign surprise about what kind of mayhem follows. Theres
sheriff in town, and he has the badge to prove it. The proverbial cards
are on the table. John Bolton is aces up and the pot goes to Washington
Cue the madman with the axe, taking chunks from the bathroom door.
© James Campion May 3rd 2005
You can read more by James here
or at jamescampion.com
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