International Writers Magazine: Comment
Dear Mr Bush,
Letter to Mr Bush
I was thinking
about writing a letter to George Bush recently. Hes in a bit
of a pickle these days with the Democrats in control of both Houses.
And he always looks so pained, as if the whole world has got it
in for him (it probably has). But I dont really know whether
to feel sorry for him or to condemn him outright for his actions
over the last few years. My letter would be something like this:
Many people appear to think that you were never up to the job of President
of the USA. Others argue that you are quite bright and your inarticulate
nature hides a burgeoning intellect. I think we must draw our own conclusions
based on the evidence at hand.
I think you missed your calling in life. You were not much of a businessman
before you entered politics, even with the help of dad, and youve
proved not to be much of a politician, again even with the help of dad.
You should have gone on stage. Instead of facing audiences that despairingly
hold their head in hands in response to your gaffs, you could have performed
at comedy clubs across the world and elicited bouts of uncontrolled laughter.
Your act could have been based on being the President of the USA - you
know, pretending to be the president and basing the character on some
half-wit. It would have been a bit hit, with audience members nudging
one another and saying just imagine if that guy actually was the
president then bursting with laughter at the mere thought.
But sadly it has been all too real. I just wish I could have met with
you a few years ago. I could have saved you and the rest of us such anguish.
Based on my evaluation of your early performance as president I would
have given you the following advice.
Often what you say is comprehensible to too few and incomprehensible to
so many. You tyrannise meaning through language and tyrannise language
with garbled meanings. Your words could mean everything but frequently
they mean nothing. I think you should try to specifically define what
you mean in order to mean what you say. But perhaps you are happy to continue
as you are because by imposing preciseness you would expose ambiguity.
By burdening your speeches with intellectual substance, you would strip
them of emotional content. No doubt you would have carried on as before
and ignored my advice.
You would have continued to put forward your version of unconditional
truths based on certain knowledge, as indeed you did. And in doing so
would have merely succeeded in highlighting the total lack of it, as indeed
Why on earth did you not go on stage instead? Comedians throughout the
world must be thinking what a loss you were to their profession. Their
loss was our gain? Not really. Youve been a dead loss to the presidency.
© colin todhunter December 18th 2007
Colin Todhunter's new book is just published: - Chester
the Superior Dog Goes to India.
Order the book - Click on pic
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