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The International Writers Magazine: Friendship

I With-Stood  Them All, On The Walk-Way To Your Heart
Ibukunolu Babarinde

When clouds cover the face of the heavens, it may just be for a little time; when it will yet be dark as if the night will never be stolen by the crafty hands of the dawn. But with the sun’s momentary shielding; behind the partitioning of the clouds, it is from the waiting strength that it is encouraged to hold on, persevere and endure for the magical wade of the winds.

Little more time of the winds’ movement, there will be  another movement, this time downwards, cascading and crest falling into a runway of the tinny fragments; dropping into the pool of a collected fluid, still harvested, for the days that would be without  rains.

There will be rains, there will be waters, and the plain will be wet of the heavens drenching.
I have never had in abundance, like of the heaven’s fall; the words to say how much I am set to love you.
It may be shocking to hear, and rather more stupid for me to say, that I am not desperate about you…in any what-way that would picture a mindset of if its not you, it will never be anybody else… this is considered so stupid by me, and I consider anybody that upholds this statement in a relationship as a mere lair, cos in little time of reaching a dead end, such a person will be very quick to explore some other way out.
I am not scared to be stripped-off of this regalia that I so much desire, for I know that I will never go naked. Not because the dress is not beautiful enough, but of the possibility that it may belong to some other person…
As to the issue of a failed attempt, High Bee Kay, I am an expert in handling a failing line, it will never make me sad nor happy, life is born in the heart of so many failures, if we all had choices, we would have preferred to be born in the personalities of the peoples that we have failed to become.. why have I thought and written so much about this failure, yes, for it’s the climax of all happenings.
Mine will never be of a do or die, I will always want things to happen as they would have naturally happen. Many times when we do not get what we want, its not because we do not deserve them, but our patience may be in the heat of trials, and if we could only wait for a little bit, the miracle could have happened It's more fascinating to me for you to have come from the Law background, I respect ladies’ rights to wish and to un-wish.
And I will not want to convince any lady against her will not to give me her love, for it is very dangerous, in the sense that I will be forcing or bewitching her, of which, when the chips are down, it will simply dawn on her that she never wished to love but, what really happened was a simple hypnotism. As much as I have decided to love you, my gesture is nothing but a mere ranting that may ultimately consume me, if and when you do not love me back.
It is all about knowing what you want, I don’t know the man of your dreams yet, I don’t know if I have anything that is close to it at all, but I know that if the man of your dreams will be your man enough, he must have a great love for you, and he must be lost in you, and it must be only you that can really find him out of his lost ways.
Tony once said that “may you never marry a woman you love, but a woman that loves you to what you want”.
High Bee Kay, I don’t know how many were the people that have come in this way to you, but in all that have come and the ones to come, it is of your singular honor to pick a love…but let it be one that loves you also. The questions that I should rather seek to answer is that of whether you could ever love me to a “marry” or not, and that underlines so many other matters. I thank God that I have met you, you are one of the memorials of my life, you may not know how much significant knowing you is to my life, but really, you have given me another vantage point to review my world.  I will be glad if you could love me… but also there is something I will not like to miss of you, though I am yet to have a full grab of it- your friendship.
How would you be my friend and I will not mistake it for the “more than the friendship” that I am looking for,…just tell me all that I will be having from you, and in clear hearing I will identify what you are dispensing and my boundary, but I understand that love knows no bounds…
But, if the lines are really falling on us in the right places, it is better we begin to talk about it, leave the bulk of the unknown lots to the caring hands of God and let Him midwife them in the labour room of tomorrow.
We can always try things out. What we do not know will for eternity out run what we think we know. But thinking through my narrow minds, I can see a ray of hope. In all sincerity, I can see some light…green in nature, but I don’t really know if the pair of glasses on my eyes aren’t due for a replacement… if what you see is what you get, then I am doomed for good.
I have expected to suffer a death since some fourteen days ago, please ma, do not hesitate to curse me in the name of love, so that I will cease to live in the planet of your love… however, my continuous living may be stressing you somehow… I will like to die as soon as you want me dead. I don’t want to be a nuisance in your life… I don’t want to outlive my destiny, there is always a time to go… in vain your bangles may be casting.
But without being an Ajitoni or a Durodola I will love to live in your planet of love, I will like to be the king of your queendom, in proficient grip, your bangles have cast… I am held bound to your heart….my kindred calls have been cut away from night dreams, the vultures that nest on the iroko trees behind my fraternity hut have all gone on a flight of no return, I am left behind-alone, caught between the warm hands of love and the cold hands of rejection… will you give me a final safe and prevent another death.
So many crazy things criss-cross my thought, particularly when you are not here… and they could be amazing to hear…of a night spend together, walk along the brook of awba, an evening stroll in the gullet of oduduwa road, wild jokes and electrified plays and so forth and so you. High Bee Kay, this is the escalade to what I dream of as life. I really want to stay by you.
I have taken the right turn into your heart, I am placing a knock on the threshold of your love, I am so sure you are at home, would you allow me in… am not scared of the cold out here, it has accompanied me here, I am not looking at the horror of the darkness out here, I have with-stood  them on the walk-way to your heart.
This is 3:49hrs, the dead of the night is nearing a resurrection unto the waiting morning, there will be an electrifying shout soon from the Mellanby Mosque, my sleeps had departed with you, they told me they are keeping a watch over your night-body.
So many nights ahead will still be pregnant, with a baby from the several mental-intercourses, do you care to know what they will born, they will give birth to dreams, goals of life, and one other thing of my heart.
I miss you to every moment that passes without you, the more I think about you, the more fond-ing it all becomes.
Definitely I am sick, and I seek no physician, my memory of you glows like emerald each moment… I couldn’t just trail you… I’d rather be your slave, than seeking a release.
Ibukun, I am for real, take a risk and be the star… lets take the walk and see whereto this drive takes us to, I am sorry I may be knocking the door to your heart when you are least ready to have anybody in…. but it may be god you build a company now, igba ara ni a maa n bura… this may the time, who knows, take a leap and you will be air borne, reaching onto the skies.
In the real times, I have wondered why I am just knowing you when it remained a few seconds for me to take a leave, but you know that bi o se wu oluwa ni o nsola re, you may not know why yet… but lady, I am packing my loads, I am set to fly away, I am ready to have you on my flight, are you willing to be carried along. Madam, I don’t want to leave you behind, please come with me.
It may be injurious to attempt stretching your legs while you are yet to sit, one may kiss the ground in a fatal fall... I don’t know whether I have taken a sit yet, but if  I have the sit already, can I stretch my legs:
See you more often like I will like, get to talk with you more often get to know you more, get to be with you more… More and more fore more things, like the Oliver’s twisting gaits.

© Ibukunolu babarinde June 2008

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