International Writers Magazine: Europe:
my tour through Europe, I set off for a place of wild adventure,
dazzling culture, magnificent landscapes, and superb weather. Instead,
I ended up in Luxembourg. Thats not to say Luxembourg has
nothing to offer! It´s got plenty! Just not during the winter...
or during this century. I hear it was a real blast back in the middle
Im not sounding
bitter because it was rainy, cold, and empty, am I?
Let me start over, Ill give Luxembourg a better review. Here we
go, my ad for Luxembourg:
-We´ve got hills!
-There arent any wars going on!
-We got lots of money too!
-Stop by! You´ll most likely have an okay time!
Want to go? I got an extra ticket
Honestly, I did like Luxembourg, and I remember the exact moment I thought
I arrived late in the evening; a light, misty rain veiled the city and
the air was "brisk" (this is how you describe the weather
when you wish you wore a heavier jacket). I dropped my stuff in the
hostel, which was extremely nice, and oddly enough, filled with businesspersons,
and then decided to check out the city.
Important note: They
built Luxembourg on hills.
The main city is on the outer edges, across the bridge and the "City
Center" is up on the hill in the center of the city; so, good call
on naming it the "City Center". In the valley live the residents
and around the hills lie the old, crumbling castle walls. As I walked
around the castle walls, umbrella in hand, I began to enjoy the atmosphere.
The light rain became an orange glow, illuminated by the old city lights.
I was halfway around the hill, resting on an ancient bridge, when I
stopped and thought. "You know what, Luxembourg? Youre not
so bad. In fact, I think I like you."
Little did I know, Luxembourg would soon betray our new found friendship.
dun dun dunnn
Do you have bad breath? Stinky feet? Unsightly nose hairs?
That´s gross. You should get that looked at.
In the meantime, grab a LuxCola! MMMmmm, that´s Luxemgood!!!Welcome
After my wet, night tour, which isnt as sexy as it sounds, I went
back to the hostel and planned the next day. The main attraction was
the castle wall and a tour with great historical information that leads
you through the tunnels in the walls. With only one catch: You cant
do any of that during the month that you chose to go, you idiot.
next option was to look around the main city and find the happening
area, which as you already guessed, was not happening. The most
interesting area was the information booth in a small plaza. On
an interactive video screen, a nearly annoying knight with too much
zeal for Luxemborg paraded around its little virtual world and pointed
out all the exciting sites and events that occur when youre
not there. I was amused until I told him I was here in the winter,
and he burst out laughing, squeezing out between fits of laughter,
"The winter? You chose to travel during the winter! Ahahaha."
So, I punched his stupid digital face and walked away.
Okay, that didnt
actually happen, but it may as well have. What else could I do? Walk
around and view the amazing landscape? Maybe, if the rain quit blowing
my umbrella inside out. Luxembourgs good tidings were wearing
In the end, I decided if it were nice the next day, I would rent a bike
and cruise the town, causing good ol American chaos. Luckily,
Luxembourg gave me a break the next day and stopped raining (It didnt
get any warmer though
bastard). I rented a bike from the hostel
and headed to town. I got about ten feet.
The hostel is conveniently located at the bottom of the valley, and
the bike path up the hill was... um, up the hill... So, like any real
man would do, I tried to bike it, for three seconds, and then gravity
and physics said, "ah ah, no you dont!" I hopped off
and starting trudging up, wondering if Germany was in walking distance.
When I reached the top, I biked to the city and soon found out that
I was the only person on a bike. I could read the thoughts in everyones
eyes, "Tourist!" I shot a look back that said, "I dont
care! And Im going to run down anyone in my way! You built the
town; why is there nothing else to do in the winter? If there were a
movie festival or something I wouldnt have to knock over old ladies
and fly past you so-called "important" businessmen!"
My eyes are very expressive.
After terrorizing every person in town (all twelve of them), I peddled
off to the hillier, tree filled, "nature" area. I biked up
a massive hill; being a real man, I had to find where it went
nowhere. So, I flew back down the path, peddled up another hill, flew
down that one, got semi-lost amidst the tiny town in the valley, biked
another hill, flew down again, and eventually made it back to the hostel,
hands freezing, nose runny, and legs dead. I had only been gone four
I thought... okay, I rented this thing for the whole day, maybe Ill
just take a nap and then head back out.
I napped for three hours and never looked at the bike again. Instead,
I hung out in the hostel, watched Family Guy in German and Friends
in French (which, with French accents, made it an intense soap opera.)
After two days, I realized that Luxembourg is a nice place to stop by
and since Ive stopped, I may as well continue onward.
© Kevin -
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