International Writers Magazine: Humility begins
in a suit with a bowtie neck
Wanna buy a grunt with a third party check
I never cared about
Eliot Spitzer. I thought he was a knucklehead, a spoiled rich
guy. I read a profile about him in The New York Times that
said his family dinners were screaming political polemics.
Spitzer did a good thing going after all those structured finance thieves
on Wall Street. Those creeps, with their fancy accounting, never
did any good for humanity. All they did was steal, and now their
thievery has reduced the world economy to chaos. They are dancing
in the streets to see him brought low, not least because many of them
were still under suspicion as of last week.
Spitzer declared himself to be a fucking steamroller.
Unfortunately he steamrolled over his own dick. Even though I
never liked him it pains me to see all the satisfaction it gave to the
Republicans, whom I find to be even more odious than he. The problem
for me is that the Democratic Party is also filled with hypocritical
moralists, and I have to inhabit the same structure as those abominable
The worst aspect of Spitzer is that when he was attorney general he
sent a lot of people up to do hard time for engaging in the same activities
in which he was found to be indulging. That has all the earmark
qualities of fascism, where Republicans like J. Edgar Hoover persecuted
homosexuals only to be exposed as one himself. What do you say
about a cop who makes his living busting people for smoking dope and
then tries to cop out when he tests positive for reefer by telling investigators
that his wife cooked it into the meatballs without his knowledge, as
recently happened here in New York.
Endeavoring to dig deeper into the Spitzer story, I decided to venture
into the home state of Spitzers poor victim, New Jersey, to try
to get a more personal perspective. My research took me to the
Adega Bar on Ferry Street in Newark, which employees a lot of hot, young
cocktail waitresses who are about as tuned in to the money as you can
get. When I inquired of one of them whether the girls in that
bar would be open to a date with the governor for $5,000, she responded
with alacrity Sure! I know I would! She didnt
even bother to ask which governor or which state.
Everybody laughed when steroids stool pigeon Brian McNamee produced
signed personal checks from New York Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca for buying
drugs. How could anybody be that stupid, to pay off drug dealer
with a check? But people generally wrote if off as the imbecilic
behavior of an illiterate baseball player. The idea of a crusading
reformist governor of a rich and powerful state with a legion of highly
placed enemies paying off prostitutes with traceable wire transfers
Stupid does not even begin to describe his behavior. It has to
have a chemical physiological component to it. Maybe his parents
were first cousins? The fact that contemporary New York life is
presenting so many dysfunctional symptoms - the economic meltdown, the
Knicks, falling construction cranes that are maiming people suggests
an epidemic of genetic breakdown unprecedented since the citizens of
the Roman empire lost their minds due to lead poisoning from their drinking
water passing through contaminated aqueduct pipes.
Dont laugh! Something has to explain all the imbecilic behavior
taking place all around us and the fact that it is being accepted as
the normal course of events.
I have to say that seen through the prism of abnormal psychology that
prevails in modern life, it is possible to regard Spitzers behavior
as wholly understandable and even benevolent. Maybe his large
payments to the Emperors Club were part of a personal charitable
agenda to help out underprivileged girls. Did you ever think of
that? Any good attorney would float that as a defense, if only
to see whether or not it would fly.
Oh, governor, my life is in ruins. It is hopeless. I dont
know what I am going to do!
Dont worry, my child. Come down to Washington and
I will personally give you five thousand dollars. Purely for your
personal redemption, you understand.
Oh, governor, thank you thank you! How can I ever
hope to repay you?
Well, there is one small thing
Try to imagine the scene in the hotel room!
Child, now is the time to pray for repentance and forgiveness.
Fall to your knees!
What about you, governor?
Ill remain standing.
Anyway, all of those charitable impulses are now a thing of the past,
swept away in the torrent of vindictive persecution churned up by Spitzers
political enemies. Never mind! There are still plenty of
opportunities for a rich man who has the interests of young girls at
heart. He might team up with that other kindhearted philanthropic
Democrat, Bill Clinton, to do humanitarian work overseas, notably in
Thailand, where there are numerous sweet young things suffering in dire
Spitzer could conceivably end up as a kind of Mother Teresa, summoned
to meet with the pope in Rome to be knighted or even ordained as a bishop
or cardinal of the church, notwithstanding the fact that he is, of course,
New Yorks new governor, a black politician named David Patterson,
is legally blind. He recently used that infirmity as a legal defense
to contest a discrimination suit brought by a white civil service photographer
who claims that Patterson dismissed him and replaced him by a person
of color. Patterson dismissed the charge as patently ridiculous.
His defense? I never saw him. (*He has also
now confessed to philandering himself, as as his wife, and these are
the people who guide New York morals!)
So, New Yorkers can be comforted that even though the short-lived Spitzer
era has come to an end, life continues to unfold normally.
Borok March 18th 2008
Fun Part 03.07.08
comes the fun part." Hillary Clinton at the initiation of
her campaign to "define" Barack Obama
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