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Girls need passes

Stumbling Block
Mark Cunliffe
Guy Block hated tutorials.
A long spring afternoon was laid out in front of him with nothing but a depressing wave upon wave of snivelling students demanding his full and earnest attention.
It wasn’t fair.

He wanted to be in the pub. That nice new one down the road from the campus, the one where every barmaid seemed to be bursting out of their tops.
What’s the collective noun?
An uplift of barmaids?
Yes, Guy liked that.
Instead he would have to sit here with the pale and unwashed, malnourished student life.
A shadow of Goths.
A pain of Emos.

A tentative knock was heard at the door and Guy with a sigh, beckoned the owner of the knock in.
Daisy Pythian entered just as tentatively as her knock was. A slim and slight girl with round spectacles and long hair that resembled parted curtains from her face, Guy recalled that she had not unattractive growing buds under her green peace shirt and a rather cute dumpy boyish bottom under her tie-dyed baggy jeans. A shy smile broke out across her features as she took a seat opposite Guy and breathily she placed her paperwork on the desk, unhooking her bulging bag from her shoulder at the same time.
Guy Block raised a quizzical eyebrow, the international body language movement for ‘how can I help?’
Daisy Pythian had clearly not studied international body language at the same place as Guy for she instead smiled a bit more broadly, let out another breathy shy laugh and placed a hand above her eye to remove the stray hair that was falling into her vision.
"Well" Guy drawled
"Yes…fine thanks" Daisy near whispered
"No" dear God, "I mean, what can I do for you?"
Daisy’s mouth shaped the perfect ‘O’ and with another breathy giggle proceeded to flick through the papers in front of her. "Well, its about my last assignment" she started.

But Guy didn’t need to listen any further for he knew what was about to come next. Guy had failed Daisy’s last assignment; the poor girl clearly didn’t grasp the nature of what was required and so, our survey said, sod off. Now she had come in to ask him to go through it and possibly even reconsider.
Why are students so unoriginal?
"And so I wonder if maybe you could reconsider my mark?" she concluded, an apprehensive little finger touched at her slightly acne-ed chin.
Exactly as predicted.
I thank you.

Guy leaned further across the desk and took in her large doe eyes from behind her spectacles. She had rather nice eyes, Guy thought, with a small twitch of the head as he took them in, nice inky pools, inviting to take in her soul. It was the first time he’d noticed them.
Guy became aware that he had been staring and the little trademark husky laugh emitted once more from Daisy.
"Ah look, the thing is Daisy, well, your assignment wasn’t really up to scratch y’know? At this level at this time into the course I would expect better from my students y’see? And frankly well…I know…I know…you can do better on a second attempt" He said and then put on the caring smile that he had perfected, along with a little nod of the head that had served him so well in his thirty plus years of lecturing.
"It was my second attempt" Daisy replied
Guy was about to begin to say something but was cut short by Daisy
"You see the thing is Prof Block, I was talking to Amy and she said that she had struggled with this essay to and that after a special tutorial with you she had managed to get you to look at it again in a different light and that you, well, you saw your way clear to revising your original mark"
"I did?" Said Guy wracking his brains.
"Oh yes" replied Daisy conspiratorially.

Guy twitched his head back a couple of times as he took in the full effect of what was being said. Amy? Amy? His brain began to search through its data… Ah….ooh…Amy Bennett, yes, tall girl from Bradford, large erm, well yes. Very flighty. Wonderful smirk, and much more besides. Yes we did see things in a different light rather, Guy thought, a slight happy twitch played out on his lips at the memory.
Maybe the afternoon wasn’t going to be as dull as he expected.
He looked again at Daisy Pythian quizzically.

She smiled her breathy little smile once more to reveal perfect white teeth. Her eyes wrinkled in knowing suggestion as the sunlight glinted from her frames and she began to part the curtain of sleek glossy hair from her face. Slowly she placed her hand in her jeans pocket and lifted out an elastic band and with a liquid movement brought her arms up over her head, thrusting her perfect chest further into the equation as she swept her hair up and placed it under the control of the constricting band. All the while through this act, her eyes never left Guy Block.
The shy had suddenly turned to the sultry.
"Well if you erm think it’ll help" Guy said mischievously
"Oh I do!" said Daisy wide eyed and mock innocence
"Righto" said Guy and he made his way from around the desk.
"So let me get it straight, Prof Block" she said stopping him as he was approaching her, "You would change my mark, let me pass the essay, for sexual favours?"
"Well" Guy snorted "If you want to put it bluntly dear girl, dear, dear Daisy, yes. But I rather think favour is too strong a word, I’m sure we’ll both get something out of it"
"Thank you" Daisy said with a big grin as she placed her hands back into her large bag.
Guy began to giggle a little hopeful but a little unsure too.
And Daisy produced a tape recorder from her bag.
A moment ago he was beside himself, now he had really fell behind.
"Ah" said Guy and all the joy from his face fell. He had well and truly stumbled."Ah" said Daisy and all the joy from her face swelled. "I wonder what the VC would say if she knew about this. A senior lecturer, whom I might add is old enough to be my granddad…"
"I say, steady on!"
That hurt
"…Will freely pass students providing they have sexual relations with him. I think she would be very interested indeed, don’t you?"
She would, the dry fat old dyke.
Daisy stood up and walked towards Guy, "of course, we don’t have to trouble the VC with this you know?"
Guy’s mouth made the perfect ‘O’ and Daisy brought one little finger up to his chin clamping it shut.
"We don’t?" said Guy in a little dry voice
"No of course not, just erm…pass my essay please" she advised, her eyes twinkling as she placed her hands behind her back and swayed a little from foot to foot in triumph.
Resigned, Guy leaned forward over his desk and bringing a red pen from his tweed jacket pocket wrote out the word ‘Pass’ in shaky capitals.
He handed her work back to her and asked the wily Daisy; "You’d stoop to blackmail to get a result?"
"Par for the course" she giggled
Guy pursed his lips; "You’ll go far"
"Thank you Prof Block" and she stepped sprightly from his office out into the sunny spring afternoon.
Not for the first time in his life, Guy Block wondered if Mick Jagger ever had such problems.
Another live flaw show in the life of Guy Block.

© Mark Cunliffe May 2007

Road Block
Mark Cunliffe
As Guy Block walked briskly across the windswept concrete square that was optimistically called a ‘piazza’ at an incredibly early hour of the day he knew that what lay ahead for him did not bode well.

Mind Block: Guy Block gets some libido therapy
Mark Cunliffe

Block Out
Mark Cunliffe
It was a crisp January morning at Trenton University.
All was normal
Block Party
Mark Cunliffe
Guy Block knew it was going to be a bad night out.

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