MITCH TALKING 'BOUT DIVORCE COUNTRY STYLE
ya get right down to it, who really listens to the UN? Let's ask Iraq,
I like to equate it with two kids fighting over the remote and then the
mother lets the one kid play Sony Station while the other cries incessantly
waiting for his turn, but it's much worse. The tantrum has escalated to
a point that I can only categorize in one word, nastiest divorce in history.
Puts "War of the Roses" to shame. Talkin' Israel vs. Palestine
obviously and quite frankly at this point, I don't even know who's right.
Thinkin' they don't know either, which is why we need to step in and put
our foot down, like the attorneys if you will. Seems like they just want
to destroy each other no matter what the consequences. There's such a
deep seeded bitterness and hatred that's been festering for years (dare
I say thousands) there's no amicable solution to the crisis at hand. Yet,
not unlike divorce, somehow when you least expect it, treaties/papers
are drawn up in the midst of the massive irreconciliable differences.
That, even though you hate your spouse with all your heart and soul and
can't understand why you ever married them in the first place and wish
them a horrible demise on an hourly basis, agreements can be hammered
out in the 25th hour. Very painful at first, but eventually Bogart breath,
you see the light at the end of the infamous tunnel. Both factions have
to compromise and make life altering sacrifices in order to co-exist in
Israel has to give back some, if not all of the land gained in the '67/'73
Yom Kippur War (really wasn't a good idea to attack on their holiest day
of the year) and Palestine has to stop the lunacy of killing innocent
people with their insane suicide bombers.
What does Bush call that, yeah terrorism that's right. Don't think you
have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that both sides have to come
to the table in earnest, swallow their pride, forget about past grudges
and move on together in harmony. Easier said then done sports fans. Definitely
need new blood leading the negotiations, little tired of Jesse Jackson,
Clinton, Jimmy Carter.
Like to see Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Jerry Garcia, maybe the ganja king
Bob Marley or George Harrison in command, but they're all dead. And I'm
thinking at this point it's way over the head of Colin Powell, just too
big in scope, beyond confrontational, no win situation. Course there's
always that stellar group the United Nations, but what do they do at crunch
time? And when ya get right down to it, who really listens to their enactments?
Let's ask Iraq, they've been shakin' in their boots for years. Initially
my picks were going to be Mario Cuomo and none other then the Tea for
the Tillerman, Cat Stevens. Everyone Islamic loves the Catman. And Cuomo's
been a hit since the convention yadda years ago. What politician do you
trust more then Mario? But then, it finally dawned on me. And I nominate
this savior in all candor, truly from the bottom of my heart. None other
then (don't laugh) the head guru himself, the Dalai Lama. Thank you. If
ya can name me a better candidate, just do it Nike heads. Imagine being
alone in a room with the Dalai Lama, pin drop silence, talking about whatever's
on your mind from the serious to the sublime. Who's cooler, hipper, wiser,
more tranquil, spiritual, enlightening, compassionate, impartial, patient,
the list is endless. Not sure he's available, may be booked already, but
he'd be my selection to turn the dream into reality. Fly them all to Geneva,
always a good vibe summit.
Can't see Sharon and Arafat arm in arm traipsing through the mountains
of Tibet, although the exercise would do Ariel good. One too many corned
beef specials smothered in schmaltz. And if his friend Yasser could go
on a Beatle free diet and look a little less like Ringo, might all just
come together. Right now.
Thing that bothers me most about this whole invasion of Afghanistan, war
on terrorism if you will is... how do we know when we've won? And will
it ever really end? Seems like the stupidest war in history. It's not
like we're fighting over land, money, oil, power. We're battling over
terror? Arthur Miller vs. Anton Chekhov, playwriting 101. I mean in order
to eradicate terrorism in the world don't we have to annihilate virtually
every last evil-doer. Couldn't that be anyone at anytime on any given
Sunday? Let's say we finally kill Osama and all of his cronies next week.
What about all their kids that have been brainwashed into hating what
we stand for? See them on television constantly. Don't we have to take
care of them in order to prevent any future attacks 30 years from now
and beyond? We have a call from Hitler ... you're on the air... And then
after Afghanistan, who's next? Iraq, Syria, Egypt, Jordan. Anybody remember
247 marines killed in their sleep in Lebanon 15 years ago? Maybe they'll
all become Iranian, they seem to love us these days, building museums
in our honor. "What hostage crisis? We did what? Please, that was
all Koppel's idea. Look he's still on ABC 20 years later". What about
Ireland? Don't they have a ton of terrorists? Sure Tony Blair will take
care of that, too. Talk about eloquent speakers, embarrassing standing
next to Bush. Like Shakespeare with sidekick Tom Sawyer. Can Tony be President?
And didn't I just hear Ashcroft tell me the three men responsible for
9/11 were actually located in Germany.
'Xcuse me General, but I thought bin Laden was the mastermind? So confusing
this terrorism. Just glad Cheney's telling me Osama has genocide in mind
for America. Can sleep on that propaganda tonight while my daughter blasts
1,2,3 what are we fightin' for next stop...take your pick. On that note..
Dr. Joyce Brothers. Seen her recently? Larry King, Charles Grodin, no
spring chickens, either.
David Bowie? Ouch. Then I looked in the mirror, not a pleasant sight.
We get old quickly. Used to be a day lasted forever and now it's like
Easter followed by Easter. Why can't they develop an age patch? Better
yet, how 'bout a vanilla or chocolate patch? Or maybe an alcohol patch
and when you drive switch to the caffeine patch. Ya think Falwell could
use a patch? Give Limbaugh the Beyond Conservative patch. Dr. Laura...Could
the woman be a little less sympathetic? Always have the sweetest people
call in and then it's like... "Yes, well, I've been married 10 years,
having marital problems, two kids and..." "Do you want to see
the children anymore?" "Well it's just that for the past 3 years
my wife goes out at least 4 nights a week till all hours..." "Yo,
genius, listen to me. Do you ever want to see those darling little babies
again?" "It's like the other day I came home and 3 guys were
on top of her and..." "I don't care if the Israeli Army's there
with uzies, if you ever want to see those beloved little children again,
suck it up loser. You're their father first and her husband second, Einstein."
Definitely not good to get old. Ear hairs everywhere.
Actually have follicles growing on the top of my nose now. What's that
all about? Thinkin' fur these days. Isn't that for old people?
Remember Granma used to have a nice chinchilla.
Do ya have to be a woman to buy mink or beaver? Greattt, here come all
the blood laced emails.
Inhumane to even think of buying such a frivolous, ostentatious fashion
the way those animals are so cruelly raised and treated. Same people that
eat milk fed veal. And support the death penalty,yet ironically enough
anti-abortionists. Couldn't you say anything's a luxury item? I mean,
why have color television, isn't black and whitegood enough? Or get the
new "segway" to tool around city streets instead of the yellow
Benz. Do ya really need an MP3 player or DVD or microwave or cell or...
"Yo Tommy, Edison, what the hell ya doin' over there?
Day after day with that stupid bulb. We have candles, son. Do something
productive, already". So yeah, I'm thinkin' fur, the other "f"
Or is it the other white meat? On that note...
ON MOVIES AND MULES:
Recently sent screenplay to Spike Lee, been working on it for about 25
years. Little difficult raising a family, working constantly at a real
job, getting caught up in that thang called life. Deals with love, anger,
money, corruption, happiness.
Vignettes if you will. Lookin' for that "American Generation X",
"Pollock", "Beautiful Mind" kind of appeal where you
don't mind spending 10 bucks, 20 if you're lucky. Spike's production company
is called "40 acres and a mule filmworks". Loved the letterhead
that came with the usual rejection notice. Then ignorance reared its ugly
head, although the good part about being stupid is that you can actually
learn something thus becoming smarter. Talking to a couple of black friends
the other day, telling them I thought Spike would've loved my movie idea,
told them his really cool, hip company name and they said, "Yeah,
reparations for slavery, each adult black male was supposed to get 40
acres and a mule from the government. We never got it, Barry". They
said it laughingly with a hint of disgust in unison.
On the one hand I felt like a total fool and on the other it upset me
to no end. Checked out their story on the net and it was true enough.
In fact, many long and tedious accounts are written on the subject. Wracked
my brain trying to remember history classes, all the wars including the
'Civil', but honestly can't recall ever going over reparations for slavery.
Then I felt even worse. Past week I've been doing my own unofficial Gallup
poll with whites and blacks and sho nuff, I'm not alone. Asking whom I
considered very educated people of the white race to date, no one has
ever heard of the aforementioned promise. And ironically enough, people
of the black race all seem to be well aware of the act. We can certainly
talk for hours about race relations in this country, everyone has their
own views and agenda. Quite simply, I feel that we have to forgive each
other and move on, start a new. Blacks have to forgive whites for over
200 years of persecution, for considering them second class citizens,
which isn't easy obviously. And whites have to forgive blacks for being
born a different color. Until we start to consider each other as just
"people" or "Americans", we're going to have problems.
Sure it's great to remember your heritage, to be proud of being Irish
or Italian or African American. And to celebrate traditions and holidays
with family, friends, maybe even have a parade or two. But until it's
commonplace to look each other in the face with a genuine openness and
kindness in our eyes and to actually treat one another as if we're all
on the same level playing field, that we're all in this wacky world together,
then unfortunately we'll continue to have race relation issues in this
country. Forgiveness, it's not an easy thing to do friends.
Didn't some guy talk about that like 2000 years ago?
Think he was Jewish, talking about forgiving enemies and turning the other
cheek...hmm wonder in Sharon has heard of him
On that note, I'm Barry Mitchell.
And until next time, be yourself.
© Barry Mitchell May 2002 -snapshots of contemporary USA
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