READERS RESPONSES
To:
hackwriters@yahoo.com
Aquarian Weekly
2/6/02
REALITY CHECK • James Campion
READERS RESPONSES

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Jimbo... Nice piece on Uncle Rudy. Some of my fondest memories of covering the Yankees in their World Series runs is of yapping with Uncle Rudy in the clubhouse and having him spit all over me as he excitedly talked about the game or the city. Yes, he will be missed, but he will eventually be on to bigger and better things. His biggest legacy: proving to the world that liberalism as we know it is a complete failure and that personal responsibility and the rule of law is the only way a civilization will prosper and survive. Happy New Year. Rob

Mr. Campion: Are you jumping on the "it's vogue to claim you liked Rudy before it was vogue to like Rudy" bandwagon? Well then, mister, I would like to tell you that I enjoyed shaving my ass with a cheese grater and stapling baloney to my face LONG before anyone thought it was cool... If you need a cause to champion, then you may want to pay attention to the mayoral race in Newark. Incumbent Sharpe James (16 years in office!) is being challenged by wunder kid Corey Booker. An openly gay, former football star from Stanford U. He got his law degree from Harvard, and has been making serious waves in Soprano-like Newark as a city councilman. Booker is known for his hard nose, corrupt-proof, result oriented methods.
You may remember about three years ago that Booker, in response to rampant drug dealing in some Newark toilet projects, staged a ten day hunger strike in the courtyard of the complex. No one payed much attention 'till Booker was threatened bodily harm by a dealer named T-Bone. Then the networks paid minor heed to the "upstart" councilman. Booker also practices what he preaches. One campaign promise he made was that if elected city councilman, he would move into the worst projects in Newark. He kept his promise. Within two years, dealers were forced out, and residents formed their own neighborhood watch to police the area.
I know that Booker has been receiving death threats daily, and in a city like that, I can't decide if I actually believe in him, or if I just want to be able to say I knew him when they scrape his body from the bottom of an elevator shaft before May.
At a recent fund raiser for Booker, (I was the bartender) two thuggish-looking Hispanics in ill-fitting suits pushed their way to the middle of the crowd and tried to look as intimidating as possible. Turns out they were Sharpe James' bodyguards.
I may be a bit naive in the political game, for I have never seen a bright star politico tarnish under the strain of broken campaign promises, but in my opinion, Booker is the real thing. What do you think, interested?

Bohammer Campion, You are a kiss-ass suck up! Uncle Rudy and his thugs banned you from Gracie Mansion. And then he sticks the city with this fucking bullshit stadium bill! Now I know why you had to flee to Jersey, you coward! Long Live Koch!!

Tank Mr. Campion, Although I often agree with your wild accusations and assumptions on
matters of politics, despite the repeated vulgarity, I must confront you on this theory you keep espousing on the death of Osama bin Laden. It seems a bit conspiratorial, perhaps wishful. I think this fellow is far more powerful and smarter than our government believes. Respecting the enemy is paramount to the end game of international intrigue, and let us make no mistake about it, that is what it has come to with this man. He has no country to speak of, no affiliation with anyone. Abducting him will be a dangerous and difficult task legally. I agree with you that only through "back-room" methods may we see total victory. But, sadly, he is very much alive.
I recently heard you speak at a book signing and was quite impressed, but you mentioned that you could not "write honestly about politics without using the F word'". I do not agree. You're vocabulary is exemplary, so why do you lower your standards at key moments in your work? A Big Fan

Hey, I certainly do not agree with what happened with Osama bin Laden, and would love to find out a way to punish those responsible, but it is not really that easy. It's not like the Wizard of Oz; all those that are terrorists do not go away once we melt the wicked witch. He is probably already dead, yet the cause still lives on. I know it's not politically correct and would cause conflict with many of our friendly countries, but I would be much happier if our country would just wipe out all of the people that live in these countries that hate our country.
You know what I wish we could say? "You bastards fucked us and are happy about it...well then here's something not to smile about." Hey! We could use the land and it would eliminate a load of people I could give two shits about. Plus there are resources there that we could surely use. We could build a prison down there, make a couple amusement parks, eat Osama lizards on a stick and much, much more. Take a ride on the missiles that wasted this country and eat the turban-head cotton candy.
You'll love it.

Once this war is over, whenever that is determined, if that is even possible, will we have anything to show for it except a huge bill.
Determining this will be just as easy to determine whether the Jets truly deserved to get as far as they did...well maybe not we all know they did not deserve to get that far. All in all will someone please explain to me why we are actually fighting this war? Peter P.

james, I richly applaud your determined and unwavering efforts to frustrate and anger readers five minutes after they have finally decided that they agree with you about something. love, pete monsterland.

James, Your writing is great and right on! And I agreed with so much--you have me laughing out loud and doing a lot of ironic thinking!

You too can have your say

Read Campion and find out what all the fuss is about:

GREMLINS IN THE TOY DEPARTMENT
• James Campion
'Firstly, Mike Tyson should be shackled to a spinning platform in the middle of some designated town square like Hugo's Hunchback'.

© James Campion 2002 'Mr Reality Check'
email realitycheck@jamescampion.com

Previously by James Campion

HOW THE APPLE WAS WON

KEN KESEY RIP

SWANSONG

ISRAEL - Blinded by the light?

GEORGETOWN

UNCLE RUDY

RESURRECTION

CIA

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