International Writers Magazine:US Politics
Make A Deal
N.C. & Indy Voters Send Clinton Kamikaze Campaign Into Broker
"So she sat on, with eyes closed, and half believed herself
in Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and
all would change to dull reality."
- Lewis Carroll
"Alice's Adventures In Wonderland"
It was around ten
p.m. eastern time on May 6 when even the most dizzying of sycophants
at The Machine began to take stock. The merry time of misrule that was
all the rage for close to two months was sounding taps from a distant
bugle horn due south. The phones at the Bloomington, Indiana Headquarters
of Clinton Central had gone silent, ceasing the mindless bustle and
putting many on alert. Several of them had thought there had been a
blackout, but the televisions above their heads continued to buzz the
bad news from North Carolina. The mood, so full of helplessly false
hope shoveled without shame by obvious psychopaths for weeks, now took
on that of a cartoon character having realized it had wandered off the
cliff and suddenly, in a rush of cold reality, glanced down to find
The unrecognizable stench of bitter and lasting defeat draped the air.
And for the first time, deep inside the spectacular blanket of denial
that had become Campaign Fantasy Camp, everyone understood the initiative
Standing from his cubicle, headset still clamped to his head, the emotionally
strained voice of an exhausted intern croaked, "What are we doing
here?" No one, it turned out, had a serviceable answer.
By dawn the gallows jabber of "being in the zone" and "downhill
momentum" and "game-changing" appeared a sad joke in
the unforgiving light of day. To those still left in "charity"
employ of what one Clinton aid recently called The Three-card Monte
of campaigns, "a dismal march of shameless pandering and sophistic
photo-ops", the jig was most agonizingly up.
North Carolina, in play for days, turned into a Barack Obama landslide.
Worse still, Indiana, the primary that was supposed to seal the "white
working class" super-delegate deal for Madam Shoo-In, was at first
too close to call and ultimately a few thousand tallies from scratch.
Let it be known that it was the final razor-thin count in the Hoosier
State that began to dismantle the Clinton Machine. Indiana, the historians
will write, loosened the Clinton's death grip on the Democratic Party.
Those who had stood firmly behind their impenetrable wall to crash and
burn reputation and treasure, started to awaken to their folly.
So what is Hillary Rodham Clinton doing here?
Around two a.m. the next morning the 42nd president of the United States
took a separate flight back to Chappaqua, New York. The diehard early-90s'
Clintonites begged him to stay, but he could no longer bare the charade.
He told what was left of several high-ranking campaign officials that
his wife had "gone around a weird bend" and he could no longer
follow her than run himself, and not even the brainwashed ilk of Paul
Begala or Lanny Davis could envision such obvious madness. "No
matter how much I owe her," Bill Clinton whispered, "I owe
her the truth this time."
The Machine's moneyman, Terry McAuliffe, giddy as a schoolgirl at 6
p.m. of the last election day that will matter to a Clinton in a very
long time, had nothing to say to reporters by midnight. NBC's Andrea
Mitchell asked him how much money the New York Senator had left. McAuliffe
looked at her blankly and stammered, "Money?" as if he had
never heard of the word.
The truth emerged twelve hours later. The Machine had officially gone
belly up, and reports by late afternoon the next day had the candidate
personally in the hole for over $11 million. All of her public office
earnings spent on a random fling across key national election swing
states downing whiskey shots, toting rifles, fitting for hardhats and
telling the national press she was going to "obliterate Iran".
By the Sunday before the fateful vote, Clinton's brandishing of the
ill-conceived and badly argued Tax Holiday idea was so viciously pilloried
by every known economist it appeared she had lost her grip on whatever
authenticity remained viable.
Word began filtering through the offices that Ms. Rodham cancelled her
scheduled post-primary bookings on the Today Show and Good
Morning America so she could "think out the strategy",
which was to focus on keeping the lions at bay, show no blood, and hitting
her knees like Nixon and Kissinger during the eve of the Great Exodus.
It wasn't until cooler heads mapped out an Exit Strategy that things
began to level.
would have to come to grips with the annoying concept of fact. She is
done, and has been for some time. She has been running from something,
not towards it; and only what is left of her good name is being challenged,
not Barack Obama or a long-shot chance at the White House.
Thus, a long and painful intervention ensued, and according to sources
very close to Fantasy Epicenter, late Wednesday negotiations with Howard
Dean and the DNC bigwigs in a special Washington meeting ended with
the following provisions:
1. No more vilifying ads or skewering depictions of the presumptive
2. Halting the ridiculous nonsense about having a chance to win anything
by creating new and more bizarre routes and making up crazy rules to
suit these pathways.
3. Bring the curtain down on what Joe Klein aptly described in Time
magazine last week as "a woman transformed from Eleanor Roosevelt
into Huey Long in two short months."
4. No more clamoring for debates, but they get to keep "challenging
the system" to seat the delegates from Michigan and Florida, which
will appear to the press and the American people like a populist charge
to "bring true democracy back to The Party", ending with the
May 31 party caucus to heroically bring them back into the fold.
For its compliance in this treaty, The Machine gets the following:
1. Allowed to play footsies with the Democrat base in West Virginia,
Kentucky and Oregon for the next two weeks, talking proudly of "forging
ahead" and "fighting on" bravely, but with an air of
a farewell tour.
2. Have all outstanding debt erased by the liquid Obama funds and the
3. A formal and public offer of being on the ticket, which she will
politely and officially decline, with the caveat that at least a dozen
Clinton operatives get prominent posts on the Obama National Campaign
Staff, and upon victory, several receive administration jobs.
4. A smoothing over with party operatives, who have viewed for some
time the Clinton Campaign as a kamikaze force trying to destroy Obama
in the hopes there is a McCain victory in the fall and a To The Rescue
Clinton Revival in 2012. There will be no mass shift in super delegates
to seal Obama's nomination until she officially and respectively suspends
On May 20, the day of the Oregon primary, which Obama is projected to
win, Hillary Rodham Clinton will concede defeat, releasing her delegates,
and appear magnanimous in the process.
The Clintons get one last moment in the sun, and then will be asked
to infiltrate the Reagan Democrat- white/male infrastructure of the
party in Ohio and Pennsylvania, and rally the troops in the wounded
Michigan and Florida delegations. Obama will paint the Clinton legacy
with great pomp and humility, but look ahead to a new chapter in American
history, thus separating his New Generation movement from the haggard
remains of the Boomer nonsense that derailed what was once a well oiled,
multi-million dollar political engine.
If The Machine does not comply, the dwindling Clinton power base will
be ignored and the candidate's standing in Democratic Party good will,
and therefore her lengthy career within it, is no more.
Only time and actions will tell if The Deal was accepted in full or
merely another con by the masters.
© James Campion May 10th 2008
Kop-Out + Readers letters
Barack Obamas Inability To Bury The Clinton Ghost Dooms November
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