International Writers Magazine: Reality Check June 2006
DEMOCRATS ARE FINISHED
Reasons Why Even With A Fixed Game,
The GOP Will Remain in Power
crazy half-reasoned notion perpetuated by the rooting press and
a hopeful citizenry that the Republican Party is doomed and that
come November the putrid approval ratings of this mediocre-to-bungling
president, along with soaring gas prices, a vacillating stock
market, a botched-to-bankrupt war effort, a litany of investigations,
and a landslide of hideous Capitol Hill corruption, will swing
voters to the Democratic Party is at best silly, and at worst,
stupid. The Republicans are not going anywhere. And the Democrats?
Ha...ha, ha, ha...woo-ha, ha...gulp...ho, ho, ha ha heeeee!
Are you people out
of your minds? Have you slept through the past six years of this administration
and GOP rule? These guys can do anything. It doesn't matter what annoying
crap these morons spew or what sort of questionably moral or legal or
barely decipherable programs or issues or theories they throw out there,
they are here to stay. Count on it.
Sure, I'm a history guy. You can cite tons of recent history that says
that no president can be in the low-30s in approval ratings with all
of the lunacy that has passed for governance over the past few years
and have his party retain power in the Congress. But I would have bet
the Clemens Estate that the bloodied corpse of this man would have been
sent packing two years ago. He's pretty much stunk up the joint since
those towers in Manhattan hit the ground, and was well below the historical
bottom line poll numbers for winning in 2004, but he was re-elected
-- by an even larger overall margin. And his party retained power then,
just as they will this November.
Oh, you'll say, "But Mr. Campion, or James, or dumb-ass, since
then you have the Katrina screw-ups, the failed restructuring of Social
Security, the Medicare Bill gaff, the Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, Tom
Delay and Bill Frist fall-out, the Abramoff revelations, the appalling
9/11 commission report, the Abu Ghraib horrors, the Guantanamo Bay fiasco,
the vice president shooting, and, Jesus, man, this god awful war!"
All good points, and you might add that even I, for a short time, was
duped into thinking these maniacs were screwed. I even wrote it down
and sent it to press with my name above it, and this paper printed it.
But they are not screwed. On the contrary, I believe the results of
the 2006 mid-term elections will, for all intents and purposes, kill
the Democratic Party. It almost happened once, back in 1976, when all
Jimmy Carter had to do after the Watergate disaster was show up. Then
he barely hung on against Gerald Ford, a man for whom even the staunchest
Republicans represented the ultimate stuck pig.
And so, I can confidently predict another Republican victory (maybe
a few seats go, but not enough to swing power) marking the end of the
Democratic Party, because the signs are there. You know how these religious
fanatics are always looking for signs of the apocalypse or the second
coming of Jesus or Mohammad or Charlie Chaplin? I happen to be able
to read the clouds, the writing on the proverbial political wall --
and fans, the writing is clear: Don't count on fun and impeachment,
and more investigations, or anything like that. Count on more of the
It is the Democrats last chance, and they will squander it. Then they
will whither and die.
Item: Last week in San Diego, the first major symbol of possible Republican
angst in the voting booth reared its head when Republican Brian Bilbray
beat Democrat Francine Busby to replace imprisoned former Rep. Randy
"Duke" Cunningham in the 50th Congressional District. In a
contest the Union-Tribune correctly dubbed as "a gauge of voter
attitudes for the national midterm elections", Bilbray carried
the day. It is well known that San Diego is faithfully conservative,
but so is the majority of this country, and say what you want about
this Bush Kabal, Duke Cunningham is one of the most corrupt and insane
politicians to emerge from a gooey quagmire of reprehensible behavior,
who took stealing, cheating, lying, and overall villainy to new and
exciting heights. Did it matter? Nope.
Another significant sign that the Democrats' Waterloo is nigh is this
whole Constitutional Ban on Gay Marriage nonsense. Of course Bush, who
failed to even utter this proposal to "stabilize society"
since the week before his re-election, has brought this steaming pile
of bigotry out of mothballs to galvanize the base. Who cares? It does!
And that's all that counts.
Item: Nearly 60% of America opposes gay marriage, and some 42% favor
some kind of national law to ban it. Whipping these atavistic zombies
into a frenzy is sound politics, and speaks to a larger issue -- many
congressional districts teeter on the precipice of social issues, whether
local or not, and Republicans currently have a stranglehold on it. Period.
Push comes to shove, they will use wacky fringe issues to batter Democrat
opponents, and recent history shows it works like gangbusters.
The final problem with extrapolating the paltry Bush approval ratings
or the avalanche of bad news pummeling Congress weekly to build a "voter
anger" or "voter need for change" theory is that even
though only a jabbering simpleton, or, say, Sean Hannity, can even fathom
contemplating this current government as remotely decent, the majority
of people in this country like Bush. I like him. I think he's just a
lousy president and a doofus, but I don't dislike him personally. He's
not a bad man, just overwhelmed and stymied by his own limitations --
mentally, emotionally, politically, and, well, in just about every base
facet of human capacity to function.
So, even though, when forced to give an answer on whether Captain Shoo-in
knows what the hell he's doing, people will respond, "Not really."
But if they think he should be tarred and feathered or run out the District
of Columbia on a rail? "Nah."
To the voting public, Bush and the Republicans are like a mediocre,
but lovable, ballplayer, that, although deserves booing, also engenders
Hey, I get a lot of mail from angered and fed up people, there's just
not enough of you to pull out 14 Congressional seats in four months.
Not when you include the Red states involved and the overall philosophy
of this country.
Face it. The Democrats are finished. Then it will be left up to the
Republicans to completely annihilate this republic and FINALLY wake
up the rest of us to consider finishing them off as well. Believe me
when I tell you, it's for the best.
Or you can pray to whatever god you might subscribe to that a woman
is elected president in '08.
Ha...ha, ha, ha...woo-ha, ha...gulp...ho, ho, ha ha heeeee!
© James Camp[ion 19th June 2006
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