International Writers Magazine: Review
I regret not being
able to have read Watchmen when it first came out, what with me being
minus two years old at the time (-2 BC "Before Clarkson"). Because
back then, the comics industry was going on a one way trip to hell as
superheroes became more immature, more brightly coloured and more badly
written each and every passing day. Superman reigned supreme, and superheroes
were the whiter-than-white wet dreams of nerdy kids that didnt get
out often enough. Batman hadnt developed the mean streak that we
see today and more resembled the one from the old TV series we used to
be embarrassed by as kids, and the likes of The Punisher, John Constantine
and Dream were but the twinkle in their creators eyes. Alan
Moore changed all of that by adapting at least six original DC characters
into a story of deceit, murder and debauchery the likes of which had never
been seen. Especially when the characters are all wearing their underpants
outside their trousers.
Written by Alan Moore- Illustrated
by Dave Gibbons
Published by DC comics
With the film
apparently coming in 2009 I thought I might as well introduce you
to Watchmen now before you come to regret it when one of
the potentially most awesome films in all history past present and
future passes you by in a wave of obscurity not unlike "Serenity"
For the first time in comic-book history, the reader was presented with
characters who, despite donning masks and capes by night, are faced with
all the flaws and problems normal people put up with in their everyday
lives. Anything from racism to old age to erectile dysfunction plagues
our caped crusaders as we slowly begin to wonder if these people are the
kind of folks we really want to have fighting crime on our streets?
As the title suggests, shouldnt someone watch the watchmen?
Now that Ive told you all this, I can already hear you saying, "But
Jack, its all been done before." And you would be right. It
has been done before
by Watchmen. Watchmen was one
of those stories that inspires so many different writers that soon enough
there isnt anything creatively edible left that hasnt already
been picked off the rotting carcass.
"The Incredibles" and "Heroes" are two
very important examples. They both copy/pasted the basic ideas from Watchmen,
and added actual Superpowers, something that is remarkably absent from
all but one of the characters in the original. Unfortunately I cant
tell you how Heroes is also eerily similar for fear of spoiling
their balls-twistingly awesome endings for you. Unlike Heroes however,
no amount of cheerleaders can save this world.
Like all the worlds greatest stories, it is unbelievably hard to sum up
its plot in less than it takes to read the damn thing, so let it suffice
that it begins with a borderline insane vigilante by the name of Rorschach
investigating the murder of a famous retired superhero called the
Comedian who was thrown out of the window of his penthouse apartment.
His paranoia appears to get the better of him when he thinks hes
uncovered a conspiracy to assassinate more masked heroes, but he actually
discovers something even worse
its like a murder mystery that
would have resulted from an orgy between Alfred Hitchcock, Agatha Christie
and Stan Lee! And it only gets better from there.
dislike writing reviews to good stories; I cant take the mickey
out of something like this. So just put me out of my misery, find
your nearest comic book nerd and kindly ask them to lend you their
copy of Watchmen.find your nearest comic book nerd and kindly ask
them to lend you their copy of Watchmen. If they say they havent
read it, tell them their Nerd status has been officially revoked
and they must now go and have sex with girls like everyone else.
I cant guarantee the film will live up to the book, but I
can assure you the book lives up to itself.
That being said, the film is going to have a fifty-foot-tall naked
blue-skinned guy winning the Vietnam War to "Ride of the Valkyries!"
So at least someone on the film crews got their head screwed
© Jack Clarkson November 2007
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