••• The International Writers Magazine - Our 20th Year: The Brexit Year Ahead
2019 – The Year of Change - Predictions for the Year Ahead
Making predictions in this febrile climate of fear is a fool’s errand but for what it’s worth, this fool will follow the logic and try to make sense of the next twelve months.
If anyone has any sense (severely lacking in the UK) we would rescind Article 50 immediately and then have a new referendum sometime in the summer around the questions:
1: Remain forever and suck it up.
2: Leave with No Deal and face the consequences of financial catastrophe and insist that if the EU want a hard border in Northern Ireland they must come over and build it at their own cost. *And all the other border posts that will be needed and keep an army there to protect it. That should tie the 27 Countries up in discussions for a few years.
I suspect we may have a new Prime Minister shortly as the Tories self-destruct and Corbyn will be the scorched earth wreaker of havoc he has promised to be as the pound plummets and everything is nationalised. Most radical prediction will be the nationalisation of all the council houses bought by private buyers since 1987 at the same price they paid for them in the name of social cohesion. Two million homes and rising. This of course will lead to fantastic social unrest and as no one will have any jobs – there will plenty of time for rioting. A lot of rich Russians and Chinese will leave the UK hours before Corbyn is sworn in taking all their money with them as they don’t actually like Marxist economic theory in practice.
All university fees abolished (but 50% of Higher Education established are closed as many courses are deemed socially irrelevant or unacceptable in a 'Socialist' country. Re-Education camps are to be set up in deprived areas.
Climate Change will continue but we will have a wet spring and summer with many crops ruined and some will claim this proves climate change doesn’t exist as wet summers are the norm.
The weather will rub salt into every Brit’s eyes as there will be nice hot weather in Europe from March 29th onwards but with a hard Brexit we cannot fly there as the EU won’t recognise our pilots licences or certify flightworthiness of the aircraft – in addition they will claim all British manufactured cars, trucks, clothes, food aren't made to EU standards anymore and will block sales of all UK goods.
May: Without British tourists in Spain the entire Spanish economy goes under and taxes rise by 25% to pay for all the Podemos social spending. European May elections see fanatical populist parties sweeping into power or into coalitions across Europe.
French border patrols increase as they are faced with thousands of Brits and Iranians in small rubber dingy's crossing the Channel to France to claim asylum and buy toilet paper now in short supply in the UK.
June: The UK will finally wake up to the fact that almost everything they eat, or drive is made in Europe and there will be half-hearted attempts of consumer boycotts of everything French or Belgian. Australia and South Africa attempt to fill the gaps but are reluctant due to the collapse in the pound – which falls to 80 cents against the US dollar. And one pound will be worth .65 Euros.
June 21st: There will be talk of a public lynching of Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Nigel Farage on Primrose Hill at the summer solstice. Richard Branson will make a second fortune selling tickets and TV rights to the event. Coldplay play live.
Corbyn's Government will no longer publish monthly unemployment figures. Universal Credit waiting time reduced to 15 weeks (critics who point out it used to be 4 weeks are sent to re-education camps).
July: EDF pulls the plug on building the nuclear reactor at Hinkley Point – even though PM Corbyn promises them £150 per megawatt hour. They use force majeure clause citing unsafe political and economic conditions. The UK will literally run out of electricity by 2025 except when the wind blows.
August: The wind stops blowing. People cite Climate Change.
Late August: Royal Family flees to Canada. *The Duchess of Sussex guarantees their safety but leaves Kate behind to defend the realm on her own. BBC film crew go with Megan to document her ascendancy to throne as one by one the royals in line seem to die of mystery illnesses.
September: The Referendum is finally ready. There are nine questions on the ballot including a no question box for snowflakes afraid of questions
October: The result of the referendum is a tie for questions 3 & 7.
Question 3: Remain (and stay opted out of European Army, Schengen, Euro)
Question 7: Leave (stay in Customs’ Union and Freedom of Movement)
Question 9: No question wins 52% of the vote and carries the day.
November: Secondary picketing brings entire public infrastructure to a halt as rail, water, power, police, social services and NHS all go on strike. President Corbyn leads the march from Jarrow to London but has to go to a private hospital due to dehydration from a lack of water. As a thank you to Doctors for saving his life he closes all private hospitals.
A & E waiting times are recalibrated and all those awaiting operations will now be guaranteed a 24 month wait or free state paid funeral. (Critics who remember it used to be 18 weeks under the Tories are sent to the re-education camps - now the main employer in the UK).
Striking Doctors and nurses are sent to a special re-education Gulag in Scunthorpe (site of former Steel Mill). The Doctors must pay for their own food supplied by the NHS (pending strike outcome).
December: Five of the largest UK banks go under.
State Pensions are slashed by 60%. Pension Age raised to 75.
President Maduro of Venezuela is appointed economic adviser to President-for-life Corbyn.
I hope this clarifies the year ahead and you will now be well prepared.
© Sam Hawksmoor Jan 2019
author of 'Girl with Cat (Blue)'