The International Writers Magazine: Facebook Issues

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People you May Know • Lexi Vance A few days ago I’m lackadaisically browsing Facebook, when out of the corner of my eye something interesting pops up. It’s pictures of people from my redneck town that I went to high school with. Its Facebook’s newest way of stalking called "People You May Know."

Now I’m intrigued. I click it to get a whole list of "People I May Know". Hmm... Macey Floyd. Can’t stand her. The next person on the list is Nina Moody, the girl who baked herself orange from going to the tanning bed more than recommended. Negative, I definitely do not want to be friends with her. Then there is Michael Ansley. That’s the fat kid who used to put me in lockers in middle school. Nice, the fat boy bully grew up to be an even bigger and meaner man working in construction. Then, Marin Greene’s picture pops up. That’s the girl who stole my boyfriend junior year. Sure, I’ll add her to my friend’s list, only to find out where she lives and go to her home and punch her in the face.

Basically, Facebook should change the "People You May Know" feature, into the "People You May Hate." You can stalk your enemies via Facebook, and know everything that they are up to. You can laugh at their misfortunes. Why should I friend these people and pretend like I like them? With that comes the 'OMG I miss you so much. When are you coming home from school? We should totally like hang out and catch up!' Seriously?

Instead of friending them, I can just stalk them from afar and not make the people I grew up with think that I actually like them Maybe it’s just me. Maybe other people have had positive experiences with the people from their high school. Maybe I’m the only one whose town’s young adult population is locked up or knocked up, or some varying degree of the two. Maybe I’m just a cynical bitch. But by not involving myself with these people and getting out of my dead end town, I’ve made at least two more steps in the right direction than they ever will.
Names have been changed to protect the innocent, namely me.
© Lexi Vance April 2008
vanceea0@sewanee.edu

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