Lifestyles: Admitting Mistakes

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MISTAKES Melanie Tucker Did you ever make a mistake? You know, a really BIG mistake. I'm talking, a changing your life forever, never to be repaired kind of mistake.

Most of us have made one. At least varying degrees of them.
And most of the time when we are making that decision that is a mistake, we don't know it. But we figure it out later don't we? Then it's too late isn't it? What do we do then? Well if any of you are like me…you do a whole lot of grieving over it.

Now I'm the kind of person who does things over the top. I don't mean to, it just happens. I'm described as: overly loving, freak out temper, overly sensitive, overly defensive, an exaggerater.
So can you guess how I handle trying to make up for my mistakes? Yep….I over do it. That just seems to push the nail even further in.
I've struggled my whole life figuring out where I was going wrong. Well, I finally figured it out, but guess what…I still do it.

Why is that? I try not to, but I still do. I know I said that before, but it is true. I really do try. I bet a lot of you out there and saying, 'Hey I'm like that too.'
Well then you are probably now asking or have asked in the past ' what can I do?'
You want to know what I think? …well I'm going to tell you anyway.
NOTHING. Sucks doesn't it.

Well I don't mean that totally. See there I go exaggerating again. Mostly I just mean that there is very little we can do, and we have absolutely no control over what happens due to that. Unfortunately …but rightly so…the person who we wronged has that control. They get to say how things go now.

We want to be able to get them to forgive us or make amends to the point we would like them, but if they don't want to, there is NOTHING we can do. I mean that nothing literally, no exaggeration.
So now what? Well we live with the guilt and the consequences of our mistakes. It's hard. We all have thought…probably more than once…'I wish I could go back in time and make it right'
We know we can't do that. It's eats us up doesn't it?

Well, I personally grieve everyday over the mistakes I made that hurt someone I love very deeply. I would do anything to take it back and to have that person back.
But if there is anything that you have learned in this little talk of ours, it is that probably won't happen. So it's my own fault that I suffer over it. I made my bed…now I have to lie in it…right?
Well, some good news about all of this.
In knowing this…the fact that we don't have any control…this actually helps. Because we can stop waiting or trying to gain that control. Ignorance is not bliss.
with other people. Go out there apologise, do whatever you can to make amends…but don't expect results, just hope for them.
© Melanie Tucker - November 2003
tucker503@msn.com
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