The International Writers Magazine: Lifestory

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In Search of the Rainbow • Jayne Pearson Bette Davis was once asked to describe herself in five words. In reply she said "I am just too much". In a sense this is how I am feeling right now. Who am I? What am I like? How can you explain yourself with so little words especially when you yourself have no idea who you are?

I come from Leicester and because of this I have a love of culture as it is painted with every different colour and religion you can imagine. The richness of diversity has made me develop an affection with everything that is not English. At home I do not have an English friend and as a consequence do not feel English myself.

My friends are everything to me. Moutio, Steve and Tina are the people who I breathe for. There is a Greek saying: "friends should be lovers" and, in a sense, this is true of my friends. In that I love them so deeply and so strongly that I could and would do anything for them. They are far greater than any lover that I have ever had but maybe that is because my relationships are like minefields waiting to explode. I am a very loyal person and nothing will sever my ties. Some things cannot be broken, and my friendships are one of them.

Another thing which cannot be broken is my love of Bette Davis and old movies. Miss Davis has been my idol for four years ever since I saw "All About Eve" and read many books about her. I feel that she knows me more than anyone else and the quotes that I have read or heard her say really feel as if she is talking to me.

I also place a great emphasis on the importance of quotations in that I feel knowledge can be gained from them and knowledge is the most important thing on Earth, as long as you put it in to practice for good but then I believe this because I am an Aquarius and this sign represents us soaking up knowledge and then pouring it out onto others. Moutio, when I asked him to describe me quoted: "I say what I mean, I mean what I say but that’s not what I meant" and that is me in a nutshell. I am so contradictory but I hate lying and am always blunt but I also change my mind constantly and this is why I am finding this so hard. I don’t know who I am because I change all the time.

I am a dying breed, a hippie. I always feel like I was born in the wrong era but it is my mission to save the world, or at least a part of the Amazon Rainforest.

To sum me up I am going to finish with a quote I once read in "Mizz" many, many moons ago but it has become my life quote and it is what describes me more than anything:
"If you want a rainbow you’ve got to put up with the rain."

© Jayne Pearson Nov 2006

Jayne is studying Creative Writing at the University of Portsmouth
 
 
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