The International Writers Magazine: REALITY CHECK
SONG OF THE MONEY WISE
A Citizens Guide to Fair Tax Reparations
"We are right to take alarm at the first experiment upon
our liberties." - James Madison
"Pay me, sucka." - Muddy "Mississippi" Waters
My attempt two years ago to secede from the union failed
miserably. Some bullshit about landowners rights and state
dues and back taxes, loopholes all. The best attorneys I could
find in the tri-state area were felled, leaving me to write off
250 yards of barbed wire and six long months of trying to wrest
a work visa for my wife out of the State Department.
and poorly executed as it was, my reasons were well argued and my solvency
was good, but New Jersey is a tough nut to crack. Ask our last governor,
who played the gay card and was sent packing. Suffice to say; if you
want to claim your meager patch of land as a separate nation, sans an
application to the UN and a working military, it is nearly impossible
on this soil. Trust me on this.
However, in the spirit of such a bold move, this year I will attempt
to recoup any personally earned or gained moneys funneled into the Social
Security fund for the past quarter century plus with the caveat that
I will ask for nothing from the United States treasury when my time
It is important to note; whether this government restructures Social
Security or crosses its collective finger for the future, it will no
longer be my concern. I certainly hope things work out for the rest
of you. Ill be happy to keep tabs on the results for this gig,
but for now I wish to take personal action and pull up stakes.
To this end, the letter I drafted and submitted through my congressman
is lengthy, boring and mostly pointless. The highlight is thus: "I
wish to extract any funds I have heretofore put into this forecasted
bankrupt mechanism of government. I will pay any penalties, sign any
affidavit, and secure any insurance needed for such a transaction. You
will never have to worry about me again. I shant come crawling
back with my hand out. Enclosed is my Social Security Card to be turned
in with extreme malice. This is not a joke or a symbolic gesture of
dissent. I want my money and I want it now."
Well see how that goes.
In the meantime, it is important to note that all this decrying of Social
Security lately, years too late for my blood, has to take a back seat
to the money pit that is Iraq.
Anyone calling the 1/30 election there a victory is not familiar with
the term. Victory, according to Websters is "an achievement
of mastery". Although it is a miraculous achievement that the country
was not burned to cinder with rivers of blood running in the streets
of Baghdad, I would not call the voting process a victory.
Heres how I define victory: Remove US troops from the equation
and have another one of these babies. Let freedom ring, so to speak.
Then well have a fair result of political expression. If I had
armored guards surrounding me I could sleep comfortably on Webster Avenue
in the Bronx with two grand in my pocket. Some might call that urban
safety; others might deem it a fixed game. I side with the latters
camp on that one.
Granted, I expect our president, the architect and CEO of this doomed
operation, to call it a victory. At this point he would be wise to call
the safe passage of camels and one-legged peasants to the Euphrates
a victory. But ignoring the company spin line, I agree with one thing
King George has decreed time and again; the birth of a democracy is
hard. There was plenty of bloodletting here in the first few attempts
at voting. Jesus, this republic went nearly a decade with no constitution,
bill of rights, an army, or anything resembling a federal government.
It was fun times for anarchists, land barons and religious folk, but
it wasnt a nation, and neither will Iraq be until the foreigners
get the hell out.
Until then, I suspend optimism and look to aggressively recover my investment
on this abortion, especially in the wake of hearing talk there will
be another $30 billion needed from the taxpayers to continue policing
No sir, not me. Im done paying for this thing. Ive seen
the results. Not a big fan. When I pay for an automobile and it breaks
down every day and the radio doesnt work and the brakes are faulty
I dont allow the dealer to tell me to "hang in there"
and "the thing moves in a forward motion, so that is some sort
of victory, no?" I chuckle and demand a refund.
is a case for an old fashioned do-over. I no longer want my money going
toward this thing. If all the flag-wavers want in, great! Good luck
to you. Count me out.
Thats right, Im on record: I do not support our troops.
Shudder if you must, but at this point anyone choosing a free trip in
uniform to the Middle East over prison does not get my support. My pity?
Yes. My sympathy? Absolutely. Support? No more. No how.
I choose instead to ignore the pentagon, these silly Donald Rumsfeld
press conferences and whatever statistics anyone wants to e-mail to
me on either side of the debate, and object conscientiously. As a stockholder
in this country and its actions here and abroad, I will happily wave
my right to sue the company on misuse of funds and misleading investors
on the length and breath of things if I can simply bail out with my
losses. Ill even cease trashing the thing in print. I just want
whatever percentage of my taxes that have gone to Mission Iraq returned
promptly. Fair is fair.
And in order to quell any suggestions that I move to another country,
I say no. I like bad television, shitty food and sports. I prefer instead
to enact my rights and cause trouble with the hopes it will inspire
the spirit of democracy and freedom the world over. That, and Im
a selfish prick.
© James Campion Feb 7th 2005
James Campion - Doctors who kill + Readers Letters
James Campion gets mad
Bush to his promises
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