The International Writers Magazine:
REALITY CHECK 11.26.2005
CHIEF EXECUTIVES NEW CLOTHES
The Iraq Papers Part I
Learning to Jog Naked on the Endless Treadmill of a Winless War
The following is
the first of five segments tying together the loose ends of a fantastic
cargo of misinformation, propaganda, media hype and revisionist history
surrounding what is now being erroneously dubbed the worst war effort
in the 229 years of this republic. Today well lay the groundwork
for our series by saving precious protest/debate time believing and/or
fighting for the current administration to unfurl, discuss, or merely
make-up an exit strategy.
The piper, as the nifty allegory goes, is due. All doubt has been expunged.
Whatever hopes and plans and flag-waving, ribbon-tying nonsense that
has been perpetuated by the most blindly optimistic pom-pom gripping
homers, they are now null and void. The jig is undeniably up, the check
has been cashed, and every last chicken has settled home to roost. The
Iraq War - Desert Shield in all its gory incarnations has now outlived
even the direst doomsayer prognostications offered up by the least likely
peaceniks of yesteryear. And theres no end in sight. Not with
this president, or any president who ordered the thing up.
It is beyond him now to stop it. Too late. And it wouldnt have
mattered if John Kerry had been elected a year ago either. It didnt
matter when Tricky Dick took the reigns from the tattered remains of
LBJ. History is our greatest source. Been there. Done that. Got the
tee shirt. Once the United States of America gets its teeth into an
invasion, occupation, police action, whatever, its in for the
So when people ask you why the vermin are presently leaving the sinking
vessel, so to speak, you just tell them any breathing mammal worth a
shit knows when the cabin is taking on too much water. Its a doomed
proposition. Instinct tells you this. Pure instinct. Not fact or intellect.
Vibes. This baby is screwed. Totally fucked, or as the marines like
to say, FUBAR - "Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition". Thats
what we got here, ladies and gents, a full-on, hardcore FUBAR. And no
ones going to be able to click their heels and make it back to
Kansas or Texas for that matter, regardless of what well-meaning congressmen
Specifically we site Pennsylvania representative, John Murtha, a decorated
war veteran, who spent 37 years of his life serving as a US Marine,
and, who last week, after years of support for this mess, including
printed records in his own book as late as a year ago, told his commander-in-chief
we have to bring the boys home...right now! God bless him, hes
at least willing to admit he made a mistake voting for the war, plugging
the war, going to the mat for our Boy President and our nations
best stab at foreign intelligence. But hes a silly man and he
has lost his mind. Psychologists call it Temporary Paralysis of the
Reasoning Functions. My father calls it Shit for Brains. Either way,
hell be fine, but for now hes a crazy man.
Try and remember if you can delve way back to the winter of 2002, this
was invasion an easy sell. Everyone was on board, most importantly,
the American people. Big time. Well over 60%. Close to 70%. Then came
congress. Over 90% was it? An overwhelming vote for war. The CIA was
hot with info, the Pentagon was breathing hard, and the press sat around
saluting everyone and wearing American flags on their lapels. It was
a slam dunk, to offer a tired quotation. Sure, maybe a few European
nations were barking, a few college kids and folk singers, but even
Ted Kennedy said Saddam Hussein had to go.
Oh, and by the way, lets not leave out that the man won a national
election 12 months ago and defeated an opponent who supported the war.
So why should the president abandon ship?
He has everyone on record as being enthusiastically for it. Didnt
have to sneak around like before Viet Nam or push embargos like before
World War II or institute Marshall Law like before the Civil War. Marched
right into the United Nations, which, despite later vapidly disingenuous
protestations, passed an ironclad resolution to oust a dictator who
did not comply with international regulations. Made a few speeches,
showed dramatic slow-motion replays of planes crashing into the World
Trade Center accompanied by haunting melodies, and whipped the remaining
pansies out of the Oval Office.
Why should the president pull out now?
Even if the whole shebang has been deficiently planned and horribly
executed, coupled with mounds of misinformation and bad predictions
coming out of every orifice of his cabinet and the Pentagon and his
generals, why should George W. Bush quit now? If he does, he loses.
Presidents are not used to losing. In fact, theyre immune to it.
This is how they become presidents. The very notion sends them into
a diarrhea-induced rage. They spit and whine and twitch spastically
as if cornholed by a 5,000-volt livestock taser.
But if the president stays in the game long enough, keeps slamming money
on the table he has a shot for the big cash-in. You think the
Yale Boy doesnt know hes already sunk? His only chance at
being painted by history as anything less than a war mongering dumbstruck
goober is to blindly deal into an inside straight or even a royal mother
flush! Imagine that. Land on his feet like Mr. Magoo or the Boston Red
Sox. Get lucky, if just once. Stay alive long enough to fall ass backwards
But if the president leaves the table, he gets nothing. And right now
Junior is one of the most unpopular presidents since Ulysses S. Grant.
But he isnt a war hero or even a decent drunk, and, most of all,
he doesnt have to get re-elected.
Two: WHEN GOOD IDEAS ARE
EXECUTED BY DUMB ASSES Dec 6th
Debunking The Myth of the Iraq Mistake
© James Campion December 2005
also Deep Throat and other
stories in our Comment
Legal - the case for drugs
We Want Bolton
Den of Iniquity
Rove - superhero
Castro must Die!
Solutions for Oil Gouging
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