About Us

Contact Us


2001 Archives

Hacktreks 2

First Chapters
World Travel
September Issue
October Issue
November Issue
December Issue
Feb 02 Issue
April 02 Issue
May 02 Issue
June02 Issue
July02 Issue
August 02 Issue
September 02
October 02


A monstrously inept, perfunctory and flaccid "comeback"

Directed by Betty Thomas
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Owen Wilson,
Famek Janssen, Malcolm McDowell

In a nutshell : I-nane S-nidy P-isspoor Y-awn .

A monstrously inept, perfunctory and flaccid "comeback" – one of far too many such – movie for all-time has-been of has-beens Eddie Murphy.

I SPY fulfils Murphy’s Law which is that anything that can go wrong it will go wrong. Director Betty Thomas’ I SPY is a cavort-cutely-by-numbers spy caper that surely breaks all previous world records for total abstinence from wit, drive and charm: M y name is Betty and I’m a boreaholic!!. Recycling ad nauseam his customary tiresome motor-mouth guttersnipe schtick Murphy – who can enunciate ‘innuendo’ as "in yo’ end ho’ - brilliantly and with utter conviction personifies the terminally irritating blowhard narcissist and dickhead- a peerless prick. He’s better at this prick schtick than the lamentable Martin Lawrence having done it so more often. Snide, sexist to-the-max, and pseudo-studly – his agent still claims Eddie is six feet tall, when you can see co-star actress Famke Janssen at 5’ 10 " towering over him, even with his shoe ‘lifts. Eddie still suffers from the delusion that he IS The Man -child.
Cast (surely against type !) as a preening powder-puff pugilist picked personally by George Dubya to retrieve a state-of-the-art stealth bomber stolen by an ‘international arms dealer’ of Magyar extraction – a tedious pouting aetioled emaciated Eurotrash Malcolm McDowell big-shot bozo – Kelly (Murphy) is teamed up with blond surfer mimbo/male bimbo Alex (Owen Wilson) a bumbling resentful sexually inept Special Agent from BNS (Broken Nose Syndrome ? examine Wilson’s schnozzola….)
This odd couple ( much tedious tiresome homoerotic byplay ) eludes a heinous horde of hirsute Hungarian henchmen who couldn’t hit a barn door with an alley-sweeper sawn-off shotgun.

All men of Magyar descent should sue ,even their moustaches are risible. Shot entirely in lazy close-ups I SPY looks grungier than a Sixties’ ‘Matt Helm/ Dean Martin’ or ‘Derek Flint/ James Coburn’ spy spoof.

It elicited from me one sickly grin and one heartfelt groan during the resquisite 90 minutes of total tedium. It is a gross insult to anyone over five years of age to be expected to pay for this pathetic pig-in-a-poke.

© Alex Grant November 2002

(Alex is too kind -it was pathetic Famke Janssen deserves better than this - Ed)

< Back to Index
< Reply to this Article

© Hackwriters 2002