TABYTHA TOWE'S DIARY
Overworked and underpaid but ready to commit.
we begin with another tale of monthly insight from Tabythas
world (I just started off with a conjunction didnt I?)
To start, Ill explain to you my current job situation.
In this past month within a matter of 15 exact days, I have managed
to get myself two weekly suspensions from work, right back to back.
Just as I had returned to work from my first one, that very same
shift I had gotten another. I dont know how I could have pulled
something like that off - my God.
Meanwhile, Ive been convincing myself that I deserve better elsewhere
as a fine employee - who normally is adequate enough to avoid getting
herself suspended twice in a row. I have recently gone and grabbed myself
a new job as a Ticket directory salesperson. I get to work in downtown
Vancouver, my ideal central area for work and social community. Not only
that, I will be paid more than the little wage I scrape by on now at my
present job, and I will be constantly informed of all my favorite concerts,
shows and plays that are coming to town; hopefully I get free tickets
to most of them too!
Im also hesitantly persisting for a position at a studio. The reason
why I am hesitant is because of age discrimination and a lousy resume
when it comes to the film industry. I really do not want to get
rejected now. Ill try again later when the odds are perhaps better.
I realize however my reasons consist mostly of excuses, so I cannot chicken
out here regardless of how inexperienced I may be at this point of time.
Besides, right now I have three jobs. I have not yet quit my restaurant
job, but I intend to soon (as soon as I get yet another job to replace
it.) Alas the third job is a less consistent job. It's the unpromising,
do mostly for fun on-the-side modeling gig. Its less grueling than
the 9-5 job. For the moment its only on every other occasion or
so, but its becoming a monthly schedule now as the agency is more
in demand these days.
I think Im getting a little carried away with this whole suddenly
obsessive work idea.
Ah yes, here's some long anticipated news for you all.
If you have read a few of my prior articles, you have heard all about
the young gentleman I have been seeing (as my Ma would put
it,) and know all about my issues concerning self-doubt and relentlessness
for the couple of months I have written involving him lately.
To be blatantly honest, I have not properly attributed what kind of guts
it takes for a guy to patiently stick around me, but he did, all the while
I remained adamantly stubborn. Well, October 3rd was our four-month mark
to celebrate our being in a liberated, healthy, fundamental and (not-as-illicit-than-the-common-)
liaison together. At some point, I must of had an epiphany-like
imperative that this man was far more eligible than any other bachelor,
for I had finally made up my mind. It was all said and done within a single
well, after four months of second-guessing.
What was so significant about this specific date, October 3rd, was that
I had aspired to claim him as my boyfriend, thus, devote myself to a committed
relationship. It is however; quite a relief to be able to admit it after
all the righteous worry and vexation. Im really glad because I realize
that I appreciate this person in my life so much right now, and I am certain
I made the right choice. We have a lot of things to go through together,
well see how everything goes that comes our way
this is only
the beginning baby.
Well I think
we should discuss another topic here.
As we are all well aware of the September 11th tragedy on America, I
would just like to briefly share some of my feelings on the incident
and give you a piece of my mind on the issues cogent to the situation.
Believe me I have been in numerous debates and countless discussions
with many people since that day. I have never been so proud to be Canadian
I tell ya that. But I do not want to sit here and tell you how I feel
about the politics involved. I cannot find myself holding with
their policy of vengeance and such. Quite frankly I am disappointed
with how they decided to aggravate matters. I do not agree with
destroying Afghanistan over a few Muslim terrorists who are surely responsible
for this disgusting, cowardly act. In my opinion, they are pretty smart
fuckers who still have a game plan. Until we have the situation in hand,
which involves putting American psychological well being back together,
until we have the evidence and a detailed, thorough legal procedure
to comply with, I do not believe this will be ever be over or justified.
I see it becoming worse actually.
This affects us all drastically. I know I definitely tend to get a little
irrational (needless to say melodramatic) over the ordeal, I am also
extremely sympathetic and overly compassionate.
You know, it kind of makes me sick how this one incident has touched
the world just because it was the States. If it were Africa or Italy
say, how many Americans would show their empathy and donate blood to
them or unite to resurrect an old disco hit with a some what hundred
celebrities to sing as the voice of coming together? Im sorry
but tragedies happen everyday everywhere, someone always needs help.
Anyway, I could go on for hours (easily) just getting myself worked
up. When it comes down to it, its life after all isnt it,
we created it this way. Someday we will also destroy it. I just hope
its not someday in the near future. I want my children to grow
up in a generation without war, though I doubt it will be likely. I
want to raise them to be wary and informative, teaching them about corruption
and hatred, that its bullshit never works and only hurts.
I want them to grow up knowing the beauty of the world.
© Tabytha Towe October 2001
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