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Overworked and underpaid but ready to commit.

And so…we begin with another tale of monthly insight from Tabytha’s world (I just started off with a conjunction didn’t I?)
To start, I’ll explain to you my current job situation.
In this past month within a matter of 15 exact days, I have managed to get myself two weekly suspensions from work, right back to back. Just as I had returned to work from my first one, that very same shift I had gotten another. I don’t know how I could have pulled something like that off - my God.

Meanwhile, I’ve been convincing myself that I deserve better elsewhere as a fine employee - who normally is adequate enough to avoid getting herself suspended twice in a row. I have recently gone and grabbed myself a new job as a Ticket directory salesperson. I get to work in downtown Vancouver, my ideal central area for work and social community. Not only that, I will be paid more than the little wage I scrape by on now at my present job, and I will be constantly informed of all my favorite concerts, shows and plays that are coming to town; hopefully I get free tickets to most of them too!

I’m also hesitantly persisting for a position at a studio. The reason why I am hesitant is because of age discrimination and a lousy resume when it comes to the film industry.  I really do not want to get rejected now. I’ll try again later when the odds are perhaps better. I realize however my reasons consist mostly of excuses, so I cannot chicken out here regardless of how inexperienced I may be at this point of time. Besides, right now I have three jobs. I have not yet quit my restaurant job, but I intend to soon (as soon as I get yet another job to replace it.) Alas the third job is a less consistent job. It's the unpromising, do mostly for fun on-the-side modeling gig. It’s less grueling than the 9-5 job. For the moment it’s only on every other occasion or so, but it’s becoming a monthly schedule now as the agency is more in demand these days.

I think I’m getting a little carried away with this whole suddenly obsessive work idea.
Ah yes, here's some long anticipated news for you all.
If you have read a few of my prior articles, you have heard all about the young gentleman I have been “seeing” (as my Ma would put it,) and know all about my issues concerning self-doubt and relentlessness for the couple of months I have written involving him lately. 

To be blatantly honest, I have not properly attributed what kind of guts it takes for a guy to patiently stick around me, but he did, all the while I remained adamantly stubborn. Well, October 3rd was our four-month mark to celebrate our being in a liberated, healthy, fundamental and (not-as-illicit-than-the-common-) liaison together.  At some point, I must of had an epiphany-like imperative that this man was far more eligible than any other bachelor, for I had finally made up my mind. It was all said and done within a single minute…well, after four months of second-guessing.

What was so significant about this specific date, October 3rd, was that I had aspired to claim him as my boyfriend, thus, devote myself to a committed relationship. It is however; quite a relief to be able to admit it after all the righteous worry and vexation. I’m really glad because I realize that I appreciate this person in my life so much right now, and I am certain I made the right choice. We have a lot of things to go through together, we’ll see how everything goes that comes our way…this is only the beginning baby.

 Well I think we should discuss another topic here.

As we are all well aware of the September 11th tragedy on America, I would just like to briefly share some of my feelings on the incident and give you a piece of my mind on the issues cogent to the situation. Believe me I have been in numerous debates and countless discussions with many people since that day. I have never been so proud to be Canadian I tell ya that. But I do not want to sit here and tell you how I feel about the politics involved.  I cannot find myself holding with their policy of vengeance and such. Quite frankly I am disappointed with how they decided to aggravate matters.  I do not agree with destroying Afghanistan over a few Muslim terrorists who are surely responsible for this disgusting, cowardly act. In my opinion, they are pretty smart fuckers who still have a game plan. Until we have the situation in hand, which involves putting American psychological well being back together, until we have the evidence and a detailed, thorough legal procedure to comply with, I do not believe this will be ever be over or justified. I see it becoming worse actually.
This affects us all drastically. I know I definitely tend to get a little irrational (needless to say melodramatic) over the ordeal, I am also extremely sympathetic and overly compassionate.
You know, it kind of makes me sick how this one incident has touched the world just because it was the States. If it were Africa or Italy say, how many Americans would show their empathy and donate blood to them or unite to resurrect an old disco hit with a some what hundred celebrities to sing as the voice of coming together? I’m sorry but tragedies happen everyday everywhere, someone always needs help.
Anyway, I could go on for hours (easily) just getting myself worked up. When it comes down to it, it’s life after all isn’t it, we created it this way. Someday we will also destroy it. I just hope it’s not someday in the near future. I want my children to grow up in a generation without war, though I doubt it will be likely. I want to raise them to be wary and informative, teaching them about corruption and hatred, that it’s bullshit never works and only hurts.

I want them to grow up knowing the beauty of the world.

 © Tabytha Towe October 2001    

Previous Tabytha Diaries
Tabytha One,Two,Three, Four ,Five
Six   , Seven                       

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