About Us

Contact Us


2001 Archives

First Chapters
World Travel
September Issue
October Issue
November Issue
December Issue
February 02 Issue
April 02 Issue
May 02 Issue
June02 Issue

July 19th Update + Readers Responses July 29th
A Mid-Summer's Standoff in the Bare Knuckle Jungle
James Campion in Washington
'The same people who managed 9/11 bankroll Hammas. They run the deal over there. We’ve known that for some time'.

For the past six months I had not heard a peep from my infamous GOP insider, Georgetown, at least not in the usual sense; the occasional caustic message on my cell phone or a chance meeting at some function or other. This is odd, considering his repeated appearances in this column for nearly five years. Odder still, when considering that Washington has ostensibly turned into a Republican headquarters for the past two of them.

However his absence becomes clearer when viewed through a political lens. Georgetown is nothing if not a political monster, and since I’d left the New York headquarters of The Desk, my appearances at political or sporting events have waned considerably. And so my running into him or someone with access to him has lessened greatly. Georgetown had not heard of a fundraiser or a press conference he didn’t like, which is why he enjoyed a continued anonymity in this space, and a direct voice for his madness. I, in turn, have come to enjoy his wickedly honest and accurate assessment of national politics.

I’ve spent my free time mostly away from frontline politics lately, paining to finish a well-overdue manuscript for my next book. So I’d more or less assumed that Georgetown had little to no use for me or this column. Moreover, it has been tentative times in our nation’s capitol, what with the infinite "War Against Terrorism" and the crippling of Wall Street with these repeated corporate cover-ups. Especially damaging to a president who was bankrolled into office by big business interests and grotesque oil funding.

However, about three weeks ago I began receiving cryptic E-mails from someone with the title of GT through an anonymous Hotmail account. The notes had Georgetown’s recognizably vitriolic tone, but with very little of the usual wit, one-line commentaries on past columns, much like the ones I receive from any rankled reader.
"You twisted hack, what is the point of dissecting the (Bush) administration’s Middle East policies when they do not exist?"
"You have little to know idea what kind of godless twits roam in the offices of Bob Kerry these days."
"Time to come to grips with the fact that Worldcom is run by wild, fuck-crazy Arabs who wish to sink the U.S. economy from within."
"You’ve got a better chance of making deadline under 600 words, than anyone has of hearing the identity of Deep Throat, least of all from that puny douchebag stoolie, John Dean."
"This bullshit about the 'Pledge' (of Allegiance) is beneath you, so why don’t you stick to speculating about gay rights in Bergen County."

Cute, pointless, and highly provocative, I decided these almost daily barbs were Georgetown’s attempt at riling my attention, without fully coming out of hiding. I balked at mentioning this in my column until I had a beat on his methods, which unpredictably alter with the political wind these days. And I surely did not want this space to turn into some kind of running libel machine for the upcoming mid-term panics that rumble down the streets Washington around this time every four years.

And so it seemed right to track down the old boy in D.C. during our nation’s celebration of Independence. It had been a few years for me actually "working" inside the Beltway. That takes a different kind of breed, younger, hungrier, willing to be lied to incessantly, until all manner of faith is rendered impotent in its wake. It takes the guile and fortitude of a "reporter" with at least a modicum of optimism, of which I have traded for using the "F" word liberally.

But that is why this trek was so necessary, so vital to the continued vitality of this column. Truth has always been the mantra of Georgetown, and although he has incurred the wrath of many who already know he is selling them out, he blabs and barks and carves with the best of them.
Unable to reveal the methods in which I weed out sources, to protect their cover and keep the gravy train greased and fired up, suffice to say the double-vodka martini is a good place to start. So the following is the first of a two-part discussion that took place in a darkened booth in the back of Chadwick’s Pub somewhere along K Street in the part of our nation’s capitol that bares our friend’s name. It is a fine bar for a summit on mid-term madness and all things politico.
jc: I want you to know I missed deadline tracking you down.
GT: That’s the least of your problems. This is a bad time to be here. Didn’t you hear; the Arabs are going to fire missiles at the Capitol building from Arlington Cemetery during the fireworks?
jc: Is this directly from Tom Ridge?
GT: Yes, the Grand Poobah of Homeland Defense. We call him Chicken Little Junior down here. He’s sucking millions of taxpayer dollars foraging out angry love letters from Muslim law students and leaking germ warfare memos to the State Department on the hour.
jc: Enough fucking around, where have you been?
GT: Fucking around? You need a beating after that "Pledge of Allegiance" mess I see is running this week. Was that bit of insurrection planned for the holiday?
jc: Please. You’re and atheist.
GT: Yeah, I loved that crap about taking God off of money. You miss the point entirely. God IS money.
jc: Let’s get back to your absence from my answering machine. Is it the doomed economy under this Republican "big business" government we’ve got going on down here?
GT: You see this is why the press has no fucking idea what is going on. Perception is king, and I know that, but the question will be over the next two months does this administration know how cozy it is with these companies that keep cooking the figures and floating belly up on the shores of the Potomac. Chaney is in deep with Arthur Anderson. Bush has the stench of these oil bastards all over him. Christ, he has to start talking about this shit. It will cost us seats in the Senate and then you’ll see where his "compassionate conservatism" gets us.
jc: How deep in is this Worldcom fiasco? Has it reached Enron proportions politically?
GT: It doesn’t matter. The more these trials drag on, and new miscreants are dragged out to testify, the more the public has the perception that everyone, not just the politicians; everyone is bought and sold by these massive corporations.
jc: Guilt by association?
GT: The fattest hens always come home to roost.

jc: So, correct me if I’m drifting here, but what you are saying is the Bush Administration, while not directly linked to any current corporate malfeasance, is suffering the political consequences purely by association.
GT: That would be correct.
jc: Constituency meltdown.
GT: Something like that.
jc: Who’s worried and how much?
GT: There have been discussions, certainly for Bush to get out there and say something. He’s treated this thing like the Middle East crisis, but this one hits too close to home.
(NOTE: A few days later the president in fact did make a speech deriding the current climate of bad business, prompting critics and supporters to wonder how much of it was politically motivated and the approaching mid-term elections) jc: What about Chaney and these crazy rumors about Arthur Anderson and the oil stuff?
GT: Listen, Chaney is untouchable right now. There are a lot of us who would go to bat for him over Bush. I think many conservatives in this town are having the same problems with Junior as they had with Senior. There is a survival chip in the Bush genes that rub the hardliners the wrong way.
jc: What about you? Where do you stand on Bush’s conservative record?
GT: I think I’ve mentioned the inordinate amount of funds wasted on this ambiguous Homeland Security thing. And I’m not sure the money spent on the military right now is well founded. I believe...and again, you’re just asking me, right?
jc: Right.
GT: Well, the vouchers thing was a mess. And there seems to be cracks in the tax cut support on Capitol Hill right now. The money flooded into defense since 9/11 is staggering. I cannot recall being here during a time, and this does not include Reagan mind you, but I cannot recall the type of major league funds for a war effort being juggled around the federal government like these. And this incessant wrangling over disclosure. I have yet to see one of these cable news networks get a fucking story right when it goes down. And they want Rumsfeld to brief them on where operations in Afghanistan are? Sure, right.
jc: Is Rumsfeld still running this thing?
GT: Another dumb ass reporter heard from. I read that garbage you wrote about Rumsfeld being clinically insane and my somehow lauding it. That was bullshit journalism.
jc: You didn’t leave me that message about his wild-eyed performance on Meet The Press last spring?
GT: Out of context. I was referring to his grit in the face of ridiculous assertions that we are mired in Afghanistan. That couldn’t be further from the truth. This man has his finger in the dam. You think this thing is being orchestrated from Pennsylvania Avenue?
jc: It’s the CIA’s puppy now?
GT: Afghanistan or the whole thing?
jc: Afghanistan.
GT: Yes.
jc: And the whole thing?
GT: They’re too busy negotiating with the anti-Hussein factions in Irag.
jc: The White House is preoccupied with Iraq completely?
GT: The roll call is as follows. Write this down, because I’m not repeating it.
One: the mid-term campaigns. They’re definitely worried about the Senate.
Two: This bullshit with Worldcom finishing up quickly, and with very little discernable press. And by that I mean understandable by the American people. Remember, the frustration of selling Whitewater is that no one could figure out what the fuck it was all about. That’s why Starr went full force on Lewinsky, and...fuck it. I’m off the path.
Finally, three is the goddamn stock market and four is Iraq.

jc: What about Israel?
GT: I can tell you that this government, as presently constituted, will not support a unilateral negotiation with the Palestinians while Arafat is in charge.
jc: Word I get is he’s not in charge now.
GT: You answered your own question. The same people who managed 9/11 bankroll Hammas. They run the deal over there. We’ve known that for some time.
jc: What about all this money we have wrapped up in the Israeli Defense Force?
GT: Those people have to defend their nation.
jc: How much can you tell me about support for ousting Hussein.
GT: It’s big on our end. The Pentagon already had ten or twelve plans nixed and reworked. That’s not the issue.
jc: The surrounding Arab states have always been the issue. That’s why he’s still there in the first place. God, I am so tired of talking about this.
GT: Why did you bring it up?
jc: I need to know about the real deal. Do they plan on going through with a full-scale attack with troops and the whole bit or keep driving at a coup based on unrest.
GT: The latter. Half, no, more than half of the Iraqi populace is truly afraid of Hussein now. The intelligence we get daily is this maniac is willing to fry the whole desert for a whiz bang finish. I think I’ve told you before, the CIA has always been certain that if Hussein thought he was fucked, he would detonate everything he’s got.
jc: Which is...?
GT: The mother load, if our reports are somewhat in the ballpark. I don’t know anything for sure, and I know you’re taping this, so let’s just say it is not good.
jc: How much does Daschle want the presidency?
GT: Jesus, what a fucking suck-ass, dried out old liberal hump this guy is. He does not give a flying fuck about national security, the stock market plummeting, corporate distrust or anything but jacking up these talk shows to bash the cause. It’s fucking criminal. I’ll not answer another question about Tom Daschle. He’s a political dead man. I think you know I believe they’ll run Kerry up the flagpole and lose.
jc: What do you hear about Gore?
GT: Your boy’s going to petition.
jc: Petition?
GT: Al Gore, the sitting vice president for the administration that lorded over the best non-war economy in the history of this republic, who couldn’t even win his own state and went out in a whining blaze of shame by crying foul, is begging for a sniff. They call it taking the temperature of the party.
jc: He’s auditioning for the party?
GT: Just like Nixon in ’68.
jc: The parallels continue to be uncanny. So, he’s a dead man too?
GT: If I’m not mistaken, it was an open casket funeral two autumns ago.
jc: Are you guys retaining congressional power this November?
GT: Unless something dramatic happens with this economy by mid-September, then no. Of course Bush could pull out the violins and get everyone teary for a 9/11-anniversary tribute to America’s resolve. We can ride that into the sunset.

© James Campion Ju;ly 2002

July 29th Update: READER's RESPONSES

Mr. Campion,
Your well-reasoned response to this latest outcry against removing God from the "Pledge of Allegiance" was appreciated by this reader, although I fear not many more. It took some guts and intellect rarely attributed to a columnist. This publication should be proud of your stance and your willingness to express unpopular ideas with an enviable wit.
Keep going,
Vincent M.

So the "Pledge of Allegiance" was some kind of socialist mantra? I always thought it sounded goofy, and I never really knew what it meant anyway. It was the thing we did before I sat down and attempted to make animal sculptures out of my boogers. They always wound up looking like sea horses, for some reason. It's only right that another Bellamy is exposed for the worthless cretin that he is. I am of course talking about the profoundly mediocre "comedian" Bill Bellamy. Oh, and Cleveland sucks.
Just thought I'd throw that in.

Fuck you!!
This very nation was founded on the basis of a loving, benevolent Creator. This is not Post Sept. 11 cheery-ra-ra bullshit. This is consistent with what MOST Americans have believed. It is only the pseudo elite who thinking they are too fucking cool for the traditions that made this country what it is.
Have you noticed that this country's appeal and power has been diminished since elitist anti-God liberals have found a voice in modern American politics.
Fuck that Atheist fuck. If he doesn't like it, go to Russia, oh, wait, he can't. They have now have organized religion. No more Atheistic paradise.
If your elitist attitude is right, then the Declaration is unconstitutional, the Constitution is unconstitutional (the whole "In the year of our Lord Seventeen Hundred and Eighty Seven" thing) and the Supreme Court is unconstitutional as well as the House and the Senate who open their sessions with a prayer.
This country was founded on a love and belief in a creator (God) and no lib jack-off in the 9th circus of appeals will ever change that.
Sometimes my friend, you are too hip for your own good.
Bill Roberts

Dearest James,
a) I have no problem with not allowing a pledge with the word God in it.... the point here is, though, that i dare one person to find a school kid that has ever done anything other than mindlessly drone the pledge at 8am after a long night of wet dreams and listening to the radio
under the covers , while not understanding, nor caring to understand, one word of it.
b) "beyond insane" is tame. Who can complain, though, as you mentioned, that we try to fix our kids problems by invasion, instead of paying attention and teaching them to not take steroids in the first place.
Nah, that's silly, that means all the Fathers of the world would have to get up from in front of the TV and stop moronically screaming for all the athletes that are on steroids, and speak with their kids.
c) free market, my friend. There is no way schools can't get better if they have to compete.
Peter B.

I must disagree with your assessment of the situation regarding the ruling to mark the "Pledge of Allegiance" as being unconstitutional. The argument that God should not be referenced in any to do with government is a valid one. I do believe in the separation between church and state and you make a good point that if we do not uphold this, then we end up with neophytes that think somehow God wants them to destroy their
enemies by using airliners as weapons. However, I do not believe that the intention of Mr. Newdow's argument is for the separation of church and state, but instead I feel his argument is targeted at what he feels is protecting his daughter from hearing anything about God.
I heard a discussion with him on Thursday, in which he stated that he and his daughter were being "harmed" by his daughter hearing the term "one nation under God" in her public school while the Pledge was being recited. The media can speculate all they want but to hear this man, the argument, to me, is simply this: "I am an atheist, I do not believe in a supreme being therefore I do not wish my daughter to be exposed to anything that may reference any form of deity, depending on your religious point of view, including a reference to God".
I believe the argument about separation between church and state is merely a smoke screen to get what he wants. If the school she was attending had a morning prayer he would be arguing over that. I bet that if students around his daughter were wearing religious symbols, such as a crucifix, in a public school, he would be attacking that.
I do believe in his right to raise his child anyway he sees fit.
But the law of this nation permits his daughter to be excused from reciting the "Pledge of Allegiance". In so far as having to sit and listen, we must remember this is a public place, and she will have to deal with it. If not then he should use his right to home school his child and then she can be exposed to whatever he wishes.
Sincerely yours, PJDude.

Do you hold anything dear? Is there nothing sacred in your realm of reasoning? I was appalled by your "Pledge" story, as any American with a care in the world for their soul.
Roger TempletonMr. Campion, I am not a religious person by nature. In fact some religions would consider me a "heathen" due to the fact that no one splashed water on my head as a child, or gave me a cross of gold. But couldn’t these people find something better to do with their time. Do most High School students even KNOW the words to the "Pledge of Allegiance"? I can’t believe that most do. Most people don’t even know the National Anthem let alone that there is more then ONE verse! They are so concentrated on this damn word that most of their kids are probably smoking pot, shooting up and getting knocked up while Mommy and Daddy are out fighting so their kids don’t have to say GOD!!!!
People it is just a WORD! Isn’t religion more then just a word? It’s your beliefs, it’s your thoughts, it’s what you feel in your heart and believe in your mind. Couldn’t you substitute the "word" with what ever you want? This is America isn’t it—freedom of speech and all that crap! I have freedom and I’m speaking. Have a mind, use a different word, move on and get the fuck over it!
Ms. Bear

ISRAEL - Blinded by the light?

Elton Brand

Feedback to James Campion articles

Battleline America
ABC News
Dick Cheyney

Parenting in a predatory world
Blamegame - The FB! knew
More Feedback from Readers May02
God On mY Left

< Back to Index
< Reply to this Article

© Hackwriters 2002