REALITY CHECK
READER'S RESPOND TO JAMES CAMPION
'Going back to the USSR'

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• Mr. Campion, Regarding your column on Major League Baseball’s labor strife.
You want to fix this mess? You can, but you won't like it. Much like a heart disease victim won't want to eat vegemite burritos and big bowls of Colon-Blow with Soy Milk but still wants to live.
Let's run our own strike. Stop watching baseball. Don't go to the park, don't watch it on TV and for Christ's sake don't line the Dolan's pockets with any more money from that YES network horse-shit!!! Let's see what happens when those owners see an empty park and the advertisers aren't getting their channels tuned in. You're paying these overpaid children directly. Do any of these freaks deserve more than a million dollars a year?
Go to some minor league games to get your baseball fix. Watch some guys who are actually happy they are playing the game.
Why stop here, while I'm in "let's boycott the oil companies" mode. Let's drop out of the whole program. Make your own food. Grab a bow and arrow and start killing all these fucking deer and bears that overrunning the NJ/NY area. Let's show the furry bastards why we are at the top of the food chain.
Properly prepared venison is not bad, and a bear burger has got to be better than any of the shit Superduperburger (www.superduperburger.com) puts out. Or start a garden and show those leafy bastards why we're at the top of the food chain. Walk to work and tell your boss that you're late because the oil's gonna run out in 20 years so you need to start training now. Turn the TV into a planter and stop going to the movies. Read books or better yet, make up your own stories and tell them to your relatives or kids. Wear a squirrel fur loin cloth and draw your family's history on a cave wall with a stick and some guano. I haven't figured out how to make Home Depot pay for all of this, but I'm hoping I will soon. I hate Home Depot, I don't know if I've mentioned that before.
Did I go to far with the loin cloth and dung? Probably. But if you keep shelling out $500 for ball games and paying outrageous fees for cable, you have no one to blame but yourself. Enjoy watching your "heroes" ignore your children's plea for a simple autograph, as they make their way to their $200,000 car. That you paid for and don't even get to smell the leather. Or wipe dung on their dashboard.
That's 3 times I managed to use the word "dung" in this letter, for those of you keeping score.
Slater

• Reality Check,
The bells of war are starting to ring just too loudly in America without the proper debate or discussion that should accompany the death of our soldiers. War is not a video game. As a Navy veteran of Viet Nam, I have come to appreciate the quality of life in America, and just how special our Constitution and Bills of Rights are -- truly unique documents done right the first time.
The current administration, and just a select group of 5, have chosen a course of action that both the entire world, and a majority of past administration members, all oppose. It is time for the American public to do something, since Bush does not hear us. Somehow, someone, somewhere must be able to start a national recall against Bush, he may be President, but he is not God. Ashcroft thinks he is God. His over whelming need to avenge his father in Iraq is not how we want this country governed. Some ideals are worth giving one's life for; this is not one of them by any stretch of your imagination.
Write your representatives in government, while you still can; collect signatures, while you still can; hold demonstrations, while you still can, to express your view, if we don't now we will never be heard and the body bags will start all over again. At least in Vietnam we had the illusion of defending the South from the North. Iraq is just a personal vendetta of a monarch of a family. I would not fight for that, and I consider myself a good American who served his country honorably.
Please give this letter your most serious consideration; American lives may depend on your actions.
Thank you.
Gary Huygen

• MR. J
We must turn Baghdad into cinder immediately.
Robert Tangiers

• Reality Check,
Upon reading Mr. Campion's latest rampage of verbosity in "The Bonzi Conspiracy", Dr. Leftover destroyed his computer with a metric fire axe, took vows of poverty and silence, and is now a locker room monitor for a Big 10 University Women's Soccer Team.
Thank you for your understanding.
The Media Desk Webmaster

• James,
There is a reason I read your column. I just don't remember what it is. I am, however, fairly certain that "The Bonzi Conspiracy" wasn't it.
The Monster

• Aquarian,
It’s about time someone wrote something intelligent about spam.
BLM 463

• JC,
I am an Arab Muslim. And to those ignorant redneck bigots that keep saying things like "fuck Allah" I just have three words for you: reading is fundamental. If you knew anything about Islam, you would know that Allah is merely the Arabic word for "God." Arabic speaking Muslims, Christians, and Jews alike call God Allah. So your ignorant asses are really just saying "fuck God." I wish you knew how stupid it makes you look when an Arabic speaking person like myself reads "fuck Allah" and "Jesus saves" in the same paragraph. Oh, and by the way, we are the only religion in the world that believes in Jesus other than Christianity.
Thank you for your time. Now go back to humping your sisters.
Salam (which, coincidentally, means peace) Besheer

What did James Campion say about September 11th?

Four Decades - 100 Hundred Lives
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James Campion has a new book -'Trailing Jesus'

email: realitycheck@jamescampion.com

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