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From Our Archives - Party Girl Logic - A Look back at 2002

Oh To Be A Nun
Tabytha Towe - Vancouver's Ex-Party Girl
I’m a responsible flirt ...

I think it’s hilarious that I am quoted "…party girl." ‘Hey have you met Tabytha, she can party.’
What is that? What does being able to party make of me? I can drink a lot or do a lot of drugs or have a lot of orgies!
With this label am I pictured as wild, promiscuous, leather panted, tight shirted, hates the government, abides by no authority, looks like 35 at 19 years old? What?

If I were to be a stranger and met myself, what kind of personality adjectives would I think of upon spending 15 minutes with me then? I agree the words ‘a little wild’ would probably come to mind during the brief encounter, but what about the substantials, like sweet, mature, even spiritual!? Although if I were an open minded stranger I guess I could see all of that behind my facade.

In my (not so much of) defense, sure I like to party, maybe more often than is healthy for you, I can see the damage, I know, trust me; but I am not just that ... please refer to the quote above.

Can I not be known for something else other than my talent for being able to live off 2 hours sleep between work and school within three days all the while staying up drinking or dancing or off roading in the middle night or God knows doing what kind of crazy shit? (Of course I am exagerating when I say 2 hours sleep, really I need about 6 to last me 3 days!)

My own boyfriend who knows me better than anyone, next to my mom, gave me his perspective the other day. I asked him approximately what his first impression was of me, to tell me three things that came to mind when we met about a year ago.
His disappointing response but not much to my surprise was: #1 Flirtatious #2 Flirtatious #3 Flir…(He saw the look on my face and quickly changed his last remark to … #3 Nice.

Alright, I admit I do like to flirt. Who doesn’t though? Honestly. It’s fun and it can be harmless *if you play by the simple rules. I’m a responsible flirt, with such grounds as knowing your limits, not showing your boobs or your ass, and making sure that whomever you are engaging with in this game that it is played fair, that both partners understand it is just for fun and no more. I repeat, simple rules.

Besides flirtation kind of coincides with the party-girl-esque, don’t you think. On the other hand I think I’d better shut up before someone interprets me as a slut now for flirting.

To prove that I am capable of other such activities, by that I mean aside from what you perceive of me already- boozehound, lesbian, I don’t know whatever goes- I will go through this entire entry without mentioning once what I did the night before. (However in this past month I do have some really great, wacky stories for you. Oh my goodness so funny - but I shall not tell you one, no, no, no!) Hey, here is something cool I can do. I can multi-task! Seriously, I am typing while eating my lunch and amusing my hyper active dog all at once. Ok so maybe that isn’t so recogniseable as a skill, but it is an acquired one, isn’t it?

The reason why I am so concerned all of a sudden is that it has been brought to my attention that I put a lot of energy in to having fun rather than devoting all of it to school or other priorities. Like I said before, I believe everything must be balanced. I try to juggle having a social life without work taking up most of my time, with school and homework, family events and/or affairs, a romantic/sex life with my boyfriend… I mean, it’s really fucking hard to balance it all. Accordingly, I try to divide my time between everyone and everything as much as seems practical at the time, for it all depends on time. Some might complain I am not being as fair to them, although it’s not fair to me either. I’m in my car for at least an hour a day, doesn’t sound like much, but I could be doing something else with that hour driving takes me. I am lucky if I get to visit my friends downtown once a month, where most of them live. I even have trouble spending time at home for crying out loud! Just wish I had more time… don’t we all. It would save us so much and give us even more if we just had at least 30 hour days.
Anyhow, life is short and that’s the gist of it, all that matters is what you do with that short amount you get.

I’m confused as to which is more important to me now though. Should I allow more time studying or hanging out with my pals or spending my hours with my family?
I think a nice get away from everyone would actually do me some good in this matter, for when I return I can decipher where to put my energy, with whom or what I might have missed more.
Ah but these days I do have more time to have that coffee with a girlfriend here or watch that soccer game there, see that movie there, go for that drink here and there.
The trick is getting fired from one of your jobs!

You’ve all heard me bitch about "The Boathouse" a million times before, but now that I am actually out, I can bitch about it without being careful. As much as I would love to tell you that I gave them the finger it is in fact the other way around so I’m not going to tell you why I got canned because it’s really quite an unworthy explanation.

I had been with the job for two years too many. Doesn’t seem long but when you’re not even a quarter of the way up the hill yet it tends to have significance on becoming a big part of your life. I almost feel scarred. I grew up from stupid teenager to a few months shy of a still stupid-woman there. I always remember transitional periods and therefore hold some sentiment.

The restaurant industry has taught me more than I would imagine was necessary over the seasons there, and I have met many people through it. Although there is much more to learn. The social aspects of working in a company like "The Boathouse" is never ending, but it doesn’t mean that because I won’t be working there anymore that it will end here. It’s time I moved on and beyond. I should have done that a while ago, it would have benefited myself greatly to have done so a year ago. The only thing that kept me at such an unchallenging position for so long (and so little pay I might add) is because of the friends I made. When you get comfortable in a certain environment you don’t necessarily want to let it go. It’s only now after I have left I realise that I can still see friends outside of work or that perhaps we’ll decide not to make the effort or maybe we’ll forget about one another.

Work related relationships are good whilst you are in the environment, because face it, you have to get along in a professional atmosphere and you are stuck with each other day in day out for hours at a time. I have a lot of people I know and can party with there, but not really who I can cry to about my secrets. You either go for quantity or quality right… I’ll miss them all very much and I still love them.

Before I go off galavanting and coffeeing here and there, I suppose the wisest idea would be to get another job first. At least I still get 3-4 shifts at the present one, but after having two I cannot go back to one pay cheque, I barely made it with two jobs before how will I ever suffive?
I still have to get my Christmas shopping started, yikes!?

© Tabytha Towe 2002 - Vancouver's ex-party girl (Now Toronto's Party Girl) 2019

Tabytha Towe - It's the endless celebration
Never know when to stop - it's that Vancouver Party Girl

Empty pockets on a summer day
Tabytha Towe is broke - send cash now
It’s already gotten down to looking for change in the couch for gas money, my am I a lame scavenger.

Luck versus Irony
Tabytha Towe
I am the kind of person who would lose my life savings on a stupid bet or something, or I would find the best outfit in the world that makes me look voluptuous and sexy, but in the wrong color.

Previous moments from Tabytha Towe's diary:

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